10. YFR, noun.
ex. Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora never delivered the hot YFR.

9. YRF, noun.
ex. When there’s YFR, you know someone’s got their hands on one of those YRFs.

8. graphs, sign of superiority.
ex. I’m as awesome as the Japanese because I put graphs in my posts.

7. loliyuri ice cream, cake.
ex. Loliyuri ice cream is moist and delicious.

6. friendship, noun.
ex. Jason and I share a healthy friendship.

**I move away from the vocab lessons to share some some interesting numbers

5. Baka-Raptor, dinosaur.
ex. Dinosaurian Baka-Raptor is dinosaurian.

4. beanbrew, jason.
def. see here
ex. Fucking beanbrew. (Gee whiz, lolikit, you’re laying the references on thick!)

3. jasonism, noun.
def. a unit of culture pushed by a single person onto a willing crowd of zombie-esque followers
ex. I am currently studying for my Internet Ph.D. in jasonisms.

2. no more, dream.
ex. What everyone wanted was no more raping at the hands of AT&T, but that was just a dream, just a dream.

1. I’m going to go vote tomorrow, promise.
ex. see below

This is my “I’m going to go vote tomorrow” face. Look forward to my typhoon of patriotism!

As I have given myself over entirely to the whoreside, I am now going to be pimping my lolikit Gallery. Any and all fanart of the lolikitsune character/avatar/mascot (whatever you want to think of it as) will be placed on that page. Four things to remember: lolikit’s sex is ambiguous on purpose, lolikit is not necessarily a girl; lolikit always makes a :3 face, until further precedents are set; lolikit can be colored in whatever way you want, there are no canon colors; and lastly, if possible, lolikit should be flipping off the camera.

Knock yourselves out!

Especially… (beware my mad powers of segue) anyone who wants to help CCY-senpai out with his latest undertaking!

	What undertaking?
	His aniblogosphere visual novel!
	Ehh?

Dat’s right.

CCY-senpai is going to be making a visual novel involving the anibloggers you all know and love, and it’s going to rock. He says he’s got grand ambitions, and that it’ll be on a larger scale than Ren’Ai Blogger. In order to accomplish his dreams, reach his goal, and say “gao” for the eleventh time, he’s going to need help from the community. So decreeeth the lolikit.

HOLD IT! I haven’t even decided to go through with this yet!!

Hah! Silly Senpai, I’m making this post in order to force you to do it! Just think about it: once the aniblogosphere as a whole learns of these fanciful ideas, it will band together to become a demanding wannabe consumer—in short, it will thirst for your product. Driven by your greed for recognition, you will deliver. Then I (and my PR guy) will sit back and think to ourselves, “subete wa kukuku keikaku doori.” There will be much delicious caek, and Regional C.O.s around the mind world will fap it.

5:31:43 PM CCY: But hell, art and music are a problem for a different time
5:31:54 PM CCY: Mainly because I suck at those
5:31:59 PM lolikitsune: hahaha
5:32:00 PM CCY: But there seems to be enough talent
5:32:04 PM lolikitsune: there is

Creators of the ‘sphere, I implore you!

Pester CCY-senpai, molest CCY-senpai, rape CCY-senpai, whatever it takes. I want this VN to happen. I want it to exist. I want to be able to play as a faceless, nameless protagonist (Senpai: idea: the protagonist should be a long-time blog reader. First-time commenter. HAR HAR.), and get the polyamory ending with myself and Jason Miao. Think about it: lolikit x Jason x. Nothing better than that, right?

Actually… the possibilities seem very real, and quite—

Excuse me. I must tend to some biological needs right now. There will be more posts on this topic, that I promise. CCY-senpai needs to make this game, and for all of our sakes, we need to help him out. The first step is to convince him to go through with this, and the second step is to help him as he goes by contributing our talents to him.

That is all. My hands are needed away from the keyboard now.

on may 7th, I posted about ARIA

Yesterday, Baka-Raptor called me the Troll King:

This inspired me to make the above graph, since like, I’ve been playing too many card games in Physics lately. At the expense of paying attention. Of course. But I digress. I always imagined Owen as the queen to my king, but recently he’s been less of a troll and more of an asshat, so you can see his downward trend. Baka-Raptor, on the other hand, has just perfected a new technique, furthering his ascent toward dipfaggerism trollish greatness.

I’m totally jealous of it.

Hisatsu: Maul Comment

Baka-Raptor has become an Censorship-Raptor, and that’s perfectly okay because he’s gotta be one of those enlightened few who realize that there are only ever three reasons for doing anything: great justice, lulz, and spinal reflexes. Knowing Baka-Raptor and knowing his style and how he rolls, he’s clearly doing it for the lulz. Censorship is only bad if it’s done for great justice, so I can forgive him.

I mean, I can forgive him the censorship.

But I won’t forgive him for trumping me. I’m well known for trolling the shit out of my own comments. And yet. I have never edited anyone else’s comments. I’ve come to the conclusion that, as a counter-measure, I must immerse myself in renewed study of trollnomics. Perhaps by raising aggregate trolling equilibrium one notch, or perhaps by shifting a couple degrees up on my Lulz Possibility Frontier, I can resume my role of Troll Ace.

Of course, I won’t pursue education all on my lonesome. I’ll share some of my soon-to-be infinite knowledge with you my readers. Enjoy.

if the trolling is lame, Mike doesn’t like it. and yet, it becomes easier for me to supply it! once again I find myself dealing with scarcity…

Totally off-topic, but it seems like Daijoubu Dango is a magnet that attracts my best comments. Seriously, take a look at that second link, at that beauty. It’s got as many layers of potential meaning as Lain.

if overall troll levels (troll sub 1) are increased, value of trolling goes down (see: lulz %). however, if overall troll levels remain constant (the natural rate of trolling) and troll demand increases, more people are tickled pink by my lulz (value of trolling goes up)

Alright, I’m done being a dick for right now. Time to share the best thing I’ve ever made:

If someone wants to color that / make banners / fap, go ahead. It is delicious caek. Anyway, I think I’ll leave off with a bit of metametabloggery. What follows is a quote from anime|otaku.

He is conventional in his blogging because it’s what he excels at. Daniel doesn’t mind repetition, and he’s moderately successful (look at all those comments!), so why does he need to change? I disagree with the fact that Daniel wants to be freer, though. He’s a very free guy, and writing like the literary critic he’s training to be is I believe what he feels to be the best for him.

Now, what he’s saying on an analytical level is less important than what he’s saying on a categorical level. What we see here is Mike—Mike the reader, Mike the writer, Mike the intellectual—doing something that only crappy trolls somewhat like myself do: metablogging. And that is the closest approximation to the desired results of the wonders of /i/ :: epic lulz.

1. I shouldn’t be doing my homework right now… should I?

2. Do you have any bread or supplies or swords for my men?

3. Why do all anibloggers dislike lolikit?

4. Who runs the ABC?

5. Why is Kamen no Maid Guy so fucking good?

6. How can Crotch Zombie rock so hard?

7. If you could entrust your future to five animebloggers, who would they be and how would you make them cooperate?

8. Will I ever meet Jason Miao face to face?

9. What is the fatal flaw in the Anime Blog Awards that allowed me to secure a top-five-in-category slot?

10. What is the fatal flaw in my self-esteem that allowed me to ask #9?

11. Does Owen hate me furrealz?

12. Am I sad? Am I holding myself? Am I locked in my room? Should I not be sad?

13. Will Aria the Origination ever be fansubbed past Episode 9?

14. Can this video about Scientology please be getting lots of smurfs favorites?

15. Will the namefaggeristic nature of anti-anon pro-pseudonymous-e-peen emo attention whore anibloggers be my downfall or will it just be funny?

Please, answers required immediately. I’ve got the rope fastened to the ceiling already.

What? You want to know why I hate the blogs I do? Figure it out yourselves.

… or, I guess I could write about it tomorrow?

… Mission accomplished.

Gloomy, AKA Owen. The man, the blogger, the hegemony.

Don’t say no. You know you are. Even if you have no idea who I am, you know who Owen is. He’s infamous. He’s bigger in the aniblogosphere than I am, despite being more than a year my junior. But this post isn’t about relative status or popularity… this post is about justice. This post is about a veritable terror. This post is about all the little things Owen doesn’t want you to know.

Before I go into any further depths, I need to address a few things you probably do know something about. First, the main influences in the creation of Owen’s blog. Yes, I was one of them. Posting the usual mindless vitriol in response to a harmless show, I accidentally pricked the mind of a lurking troll. He created the Cruel Angel Theses and nailed them to my church’s front door the very next morning. I began apologizing that cold April morning one year ago, and I’m still apologizing to this day.

But much as I enjoy apologizing, I can’t soak up all the fault. I inspired Owen to begin blogging, but the one who gave him his true power over people was the legendary Japes. I say legendary because what was once a fairy tale of love and courage has become a mind-numbing train commute along rails of terrible mech anime. What I mean by all this is that the mighty Japes has fallen.

A beautiful downward slope.

In his place, Owen has risen up, the de facto king of thought-out (and blown-out) analytic diatribes. Utilizing JP’s main weapon—intelligence—Owen conquered worlds. Had he only inherited my share of blogging, he would be nowhere. But no, he acquired that key ingredient I’ve always lacked (again, intelligence) and combined it and trolling to UNISON his way across time and space and somehow become the APEX OF ANIME BLOGGING in about half a year. (He’s actually been declining for five months and fourteen days now, he just doesn’t know it.)

Some might say that the mighty Japes has fallen. I’ve already agreed with this viewpoint, but I’d like to add that semenonfigure is why we can’t have pretty things and that he is legendary even in his demise. His last two posts (here and here) are Jason Miao material. Please, go die JP.

Second on my list of things to address is the role of notdotq in the aniblogosphere. I’m not actually going to address it now because I spent waaaaaay too many words on the last point and I’m trying to get to the delicious stuff. You know. The CAKE—the primary objective. It’s delicious, so the Regional C.O. is fapping it. This means that no further saging is required and that I, having been briefed by the O.P., am to go forward with the plan.

And so I go forward with the plan.

#10.
Owen’s blog is one year old today. Looking at the Anime Blog Awards nominations for Rookie of the Year, you’d think that it was much older than this. Contrary to popular belief, however, Zeroblade and I are not batshit insane. Yes, Owen’s blog was an infant at the start of the Anime Blog Awards. It should be noted here that I don’t actually have any intelligence that this is meant to be a secret. Looking at the nominations list, though, it is obvious: Owen’s blog’s age is a de facto secret. Or at least, it was. I’m Keiichi and I have a shovel and though there are three more trees in this forest than previously accounted for, I’m going to keep digging.

#9.
Owen did not create the Anime Blogging Collective.

#8.
You are not, in fact, trash as well.

#7.
This one is a well-kept secret: Owen is secretly an episodic anime blogger. “How is this possible?!” you might ask, well aware that his Cruel Angel Theses are editorial (I won’t dispute that). I shall respond with an even better-kept secret (two for one!): Owen and Aroduc are one and the same.

#6.
Owen is, in fact, a girl. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, Dango Shithead DID do a good job using reverse psychology to convince you all that Owen’s a dude. DS is in fact one of Owen’s closest henchmen—or maybe even a clone—and that post was 100% truth.

#5.
Owen likes Lucky Star. Yes. You’d think that by the mere act of associating with me, he hates Lucky Star. The rest of the image follows easily: all his adulation for the show is hidden trolling along the lines of my dealings with Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu. But don’t be deceived. In spite of his trolling nature, and in spite of his alleged friendship with me, and in spite of how dishonest he is at times, he is not lying when he claims that Lucky Star is good.

…

I mean, he is not lying when he claims that he thinks Lucky Star is good.

#4.
Owen did create the Anime Blogging Collective.

#3.
Owen has ruled the ABC since its founding, and he continues to to this day. The rumors of a hostile takeover by glompable 15 year-old girls are false, propagated by DS, Aroduc, and Owen (yes, the monster CROSS-POSTS bullshit on his multiple sites).

#2.
Owen is a Nazi Dictator. And he’s sexist. The evidence I am about to produce may seem controversial… and it is… but upon further examination you will find it 100% authentic. You might ask, “why was this not brought to light sooner?” and the answer to that can only be that if I had produced this earlier—before ensuring my safety—Owen’s intricate web of power might have destroyed me. Now, however, I have locked myself in the Gnomes’ caves and have blocked my door with a miniature black hole. Sure of my security, I move forward and produce the evidence, evidence that has been seen by no one outside of the enemy’s orgs… until now. Ladies and gentlemen, docs.

#1.
No, Owen has not grown taller than me. Blogging power levels aside, I fear I shall always and forever tower above him physically.

Happy Blogging Birthday, you lovable fucktard. Here’s to many more.

On the left we have moggling and on the right we have Anime on My Mind Derailed by Darry.

I’m actually a huge fan of moggling, at least in concept. Maybe I’ve been absent from a lot in the ten months, but “image blog” seems kinda cool. Unfortunately for moggling, the writer isn’t very funny. And, as the About page claims, “moggling is an anime image blog featuring only the best kawaii pics.” Long-time notdotq readers should immediately discern my position on the blog’s worth, but…

… like I said, I’ve been away for a while. So I’ll make myself very clear:

Lucky Star = GARBAGE DAAAAAAAAY

moggling had a huge advantage going into this known as NOT BEING JASON MIAO. Jason Miao is fail. I don’t care if you voted “gtfo noob” in the sidebar poll, you know that lolikitsune haet Jason.

moggling squandered this advantage by devoting itself to “kawaii.”

Fortunately for moggling, its ATTACK CHANCE came this evening with Jason Miao’s latest misguided post. Specifically, this post, one of his famous line of “five images” posts. Sometimes these “five images” posts manage to be amusing. Or hot. One or the other. But not this time—oh no.

This particular “five images” post is a lie (reg.co does not fap it; plan not approved; op needs to be saged more; investigate more gore; send more lulzcows). There are in fact six images. The “rule 34 on” in these images is fairly blatant (even I can decode it and I’m only a semi-hazardous troll at OT-2). The encoded message is: Jason has a lez fetish. In addition to that, there are subliminal messages of “gender-bending Haruhi is ALMOST AS GOOD AS HARUHI” and “Kotomi-chan is isn’t an annoying shit.”

Given that Jason’s post title was a lie, and that his images are of the same caliber as the Lucky Star Water Gun Fight, we proceed into the final phase of this debacle of a post (for which I apologize to the entire aniblogosphere—lknight made me do it): the judging.

moggling has terrible one-image posts: -100 points.
Jason has terrible dishonest six-image posts: -700 points.

The winner of this contest? moggling. I think the moral here is that Jason needs to secure his Guy Fawkes mask. His looseness about “five (…or six…) images” is very similar to Anonymous looseness regarding “the 4th (…or 5th…) Marcabian Invasion Fleet.” Namefaggerisms shall ensue.