So. My first thoughts when they were showing us the “history” segment were “lolol Code Geass” because you have the same thing: some self-righteous bastards have some new technology that they’ve somehow managed to develop completely in secret, and that technology is humanoid robots on wheels, and they use this technology to take over the whole damn world.

For the record, “lolol Code Geass” is not the same as “lolol this is ripping off Code Geass”—I’m well aware of which work was first conceived in the chronology of creation. It’s more like… “lolol this turned out so well last time an anime did this.”

Psst. Sarcasm.

But I digress. The next thing I thought—still in that scene with the rideback drop pods carriers—was “… Innocent Venus.”

For those not in the know (IV is shit, so it might be obscure), Innocent Venus features a cool Yousei Teikoku OP, a cast of shitheads, and rollerblade mechs the armaments of which are too inaccurate to deal with infantry. Obvious parallels here…

… but then, in reading some post somewhere, I realized: Outlaw Star! These are grappler motorcycles. Yep. Hella original, RITE?!

Discuss.

Oh also, if I could say “typical” over nine thousand times in a row, that might almost describe this show.

This is so bad… it’s so bad, I won’t even blog it. It’s… Haruhi-level bad.

What’s so bad about it, you ask?

And what right do I have to talk, having only seen two and half minutes of a single episode of a newly started show?

Oh, we’ve seen this show before. We’ve all seen it before. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu is. Whoredom at its finest. We’ve seen it in Naruto; the single franchise that makes the most money with the least effort. We’ve seen it in Gonzo films that make relatively little money with a lot of effort, but please a lot of fans with “zomfg suteki~” animation. Before Lucky Star, there was this dancing anime.

And now, there’s this dancing anime.

And it’s multiplying.

As you all may or may not know, I’ve long hated the concept of “moe.” It objectifies a set of qualities (given, this set includes every single quality there is, according to Dr. Japes) and turns appreciation into a pretty damn formulaic thing. Instead of enjoying a character for the character as a character, “moe” aspects, traits, behavioral patterns, etc. take the foreground and become reason for a character’s acceptance. Instead of being intrigued by Tsukimiya Ayu’s lack of background, in watching Kanon, fans trouble themselves with “she’s so cute!”

And why’s she cute? Because she says “uguu.” And because she wears that coat, and those mittens, and that backpack, and acts like the little loli bitch she is. But who is she? Does anyone think to wonder?

Don’t you want to know who this girl is? Oh, we find out, after twenty-four episodes, eighteen of which were spent on other characters. There’s no development to Ayu’s character. Yuuichi is frighteningly detached from concern regarding this little girl who claims to know him… and who doesn’t have a family? Or a home? Or a school? Or any of the things she claims she has? All of a sudden, twenty episodes in, he kisses her… but we, the viewers, what motivation do we have for wanting the protagonist to kiss Ayu? Who is Ayu?

Some girl who says “uguu.” She likes taiyaki and dislikes scary things, including the dark.

/me snaps fingers

That’s not a character, and this degeneration of character development in favor of pandering to fetishes/aesthetics is the main reason I’m opposed to the concept of “moe.” “Moe” is whoredom, plain and simple. Yuki’s silence. Haruhi’s psycho bitchiness. Mikuru’s “lolimoe” helplessness. Tsuruya’s nyoro~n. Yes, even Itsuki’s homosexuality. Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu’s saving grace has always been, in my opinion, Kyon’s narration, and that may well be because he has a solid character. Of course, it’s entirely possible that the author of the novels merely made him as bland and dry as possible in order to help readers connect to him. Maybe there isn’t anything, even to him.

So why do I rant against “moe” so vehemently?

Lucky Star is, in a word, “moe.” You only need about 4 seconds of the obnoxious OP to figure that out. Take a look at these responses to bj0rn’s post about the OP:

• Impz says: MOE ATTACK!!!!!! i am dying, i am dying and I want my lucky star now!!!! moeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
• bakavic says: I just died. [...] The dancing is just too addictive…
• Aesir says: holy.. tat was.. just too awesome for words @@

And this explosion occurring as a result of Lucky Star’s entrance isn’t same old, same old. Look how willing these ghouls are; look how eagerly they embrace something knowing the meaning of “moe” and that they’re under some twisted genjutsu. The sos-dan.com site, formed some time last year in response to previous whore-show Haruhi, is scuttling with little bugs of people, the sad remains of people once unaffected by this “moe.” What was once a stupid book about some alien-loving girl has escalated to the level of epic reeducation.

I repeat, it’s multiplying.

I had respect for Kyoto Animation. I respected them for making AIR, the one show I’ve seen with the most compelling atmosphere. I respected them for making Fumoffu, the one show that’s made me laugh the most. I could deal with them making Haruhi; it’s business, after all. I cried more for the Haruhi fans than for myself when they made Kanon—what harm could it do to me? But this… this “Lucky Star” or what have you…

I quote Omni on the OP sequence, “It makes me think that they’re intentionally trying to create another Hare Hare Yukai style sensation.”

You think right, Omni.

They’ve descended from grace and are now fervently recycling everything of theirs that ever worked. Haruhi was passable and Kanon was a step back in the right direction. Lucky Star?

Kyoto Animation, you are whores.

You are whores and your show fucking sucks.