One day I’m in DotQ‘s admin panel by chance and I see a new comment in moderation. This is pretty infrequent (as noted here, I’m even more unpopular now than I was half a year ago so it’s like, negative comments time), so I’m curious and I investigate. Lo and behold, it’s a pingback! On the Night Switch page! From… Sixten?!

And I’m like, “whoa!” I’m like, “since when did people I insult acknowledge me?!” I’m like, “doesn’t this guy suck Jason’s cock nightly? Surely he must know to avoid me! How come I’m not IP banned on his site yet? Is there something wrong with his brain? Clearly Jason hasn’t scrambled it enough! Anal penetrations moar plzplzplz!!”

When I was over my initial squeeing, I actually read the post.

(Some more serious and respectful comments on his post can be found in a post on Dreams of the Quill that I’m writing at the same time as I’m writing this. Seriously. This post isn’t my official response to Sixten’s post, it’s just classic notdotq-style vitriol and idiocy.)

Upon reading, I immediately become livid. The guy begins his post by not knowing who I am (“he (she?)”), which is unacceptable. He also misspells my handle—”LoliKitsune” instead of “lolikitsune.” He then goes on to namefag me (“I suspect Flak and LoliKit are the same person”), as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. On second thought, I suppose it is natural, for him. After all, it’s his idol Jason who was kind enough to namefag Pete Zaitcev.

Sidenote: I don’t portray myself as a loli kitsune. What’s in a name?

Would not a troll by any other name be as odorous?

Sixten concludes the introduction of his post with a demonstration of his illogic. He “decided it was time to read it” after Flak (I), whom he suspected was lolikitsune (me), posted an idiotic comment on his blog whoring Night Switch. I certainly wouldn’t read anything whored in an idiotic comment by someone who (appears to be) spamming in the name of (important side note: the different handles exist for compartmentalizing of online life and internet spheres, not for tricking people into thinking I’m legion). Even if it had to do with Jason Miao. Never. Wouldn’t happen.

Unless, you know, I was trying to get trolling fodder.

Anyway. After this introduction, Sixten launches into a synopsis of various aspects of Night Switch. He describes the background of the story as he sees it (he’s neither too wrong nor too correct for the summary to be full of idiocy or full of spoilers, respectively), and then has a paragraph for three of the characters in the story, complete with ILLUSTRATIONS.

Yeah right.

There is no way this guy has enough time on his hands to read all of Night Switch, draw pictures, AND blog about it in under twenty hours. That’s right—I made my comment less than twenty hours before this blog post went live. There are two possibilities here: he’s either a liar or a NEET. In the first scenario, he’s actually been reading Night Switch for some time, and the illustrations have been sitting on his computer waiting for the day I would foolishly waltz into his blog and comment. In the second scenario, he actually does have that kind of time on his hands.

But I digress.

(Some of the information in his character descriptions is less than accurate—this is addressed in the aforementioned “official response” on Dreams of the Quill.)

Oddly enough, Sixten’s three selected characters don’t have a 100% overlap with the story’s three main characters. He chose to highlight JTFish’s Pedantic Dachshund character instead of the story’s hero, Amtrak worker and religious fanatic Joe. Well, good on him for ignoring the boring characters I guess. The Geass-toting dog is definitely more interesting than the Tetris-obsessed, people-hating Joe.

Here’s where it gets REALLY good, though: after these summaries of plot and character, Sixten analyzes the story a bit. Here’re some choice quotes:

“Unlike Miao Diary, which is mostly styled after fluff anime, Night Switch borrows plot points from more serious and dramatic shows such as Nanoha and Code Geass.” (emphasis mine)

That’s right. He said it. Well, I can only hope for one thing: that he’s only seen two episodes of Code Geass. Any more than that, and he’s just laughing his ass off at me here. Code Geass? Serious? It’s like he’s calling Night Switch a slapstick routine. (Speaking of which, Suzaku slapped Lelouch’s stick in Episode 24 of R2. That was hot.)

“As LoliKitsune pointed out, Night Switch is better than Miao Diary – it’s not a self-insert, wish-fulfillment, mo√© vehicle like that story featuring Jasmine.”

Here he uses a masterful trolling technique known to inspire Troll’s Remorse in lesser trolls. He turns my own cruelty against me in an attempt to make me regret my callous remarks. Thankfully I’m not susceptible, and I stand by my claims that Miao Diary is nothing more than a more modern Megatokyo (read: horse excrement). But still, it’s the thought that counts, as they say. Sixten really tried to drive it into me here.

“It’s as well-written as Jason’s scripts for Heart’s Content”

A nail in the metaphorical coffin, here he compares the quality of my product to the quality of Jason’s. I’ve read AoMM on and off for three years now (on when I wasn’t banned, off when I was) and I have never thought anything special of Jason’s command of the English language. Now, you might say I’m not one to talk. I’m a high school graduate. My writing is far from what I would call “good.” I don’t grammar well. My active vocabulary is often inadequate. But you don’t need to be a good writer to tell a bad one, and I can tell Jason is bad. Horrendously so.

Actually, if my writing is at the level of his, it might be time for me to pull my Megatokyo move.

/me strips, then reaches for lighter fluid and matches

“f Miao Diary is a strawberry marshmallow, Night Switch is a meal of rice, meat, and vegetables. Read it today for a balanced diet.”

What
the
fuck
is
a
strawberry marshmallow?!

Sigh.

Sixten is a formidable opponent. He even made a cover for Night Switch, pictured below. And of course, it lacks Joe. Poor Joe. Never gets any love. I think that’s why he turned to Jesus.

(That’s right, bitch, I hotlinked that.)

Majime na Lolikit
Sixten, you rock. <3