Obviously someone has to fail the cut. TJ, Omo, SDB with his cane, Crusader, BigN, Kuro, Evirus, Aroduc, Zyl and his brother, John and Zepy the newsmen — all went under the knife.

Well, for one thing, Omo is definitely in the game (receiving lots of mutated-clit-penetration from Owen). For another, I’ll say this: now that character art is in the picture, the overhead for adding characters has increased dramatically. If I want to add a character, I need to charge Sixten—onto whom I have already piled work—with the character’s artwork.

That said, I can find some outside sources of help.

Otou-san, for instance, has volunteered to make me a ghostlightning.

And some characters don’t need amazing character art. TJ won’t be appearing in my game, but I intend to make use of RIUVA‘s mascot: Tripeman. I hereby humbly request permission of the RIUVA staff. If it’s denied, I will bear Tripeman’s children and bring lawsuits against Jason Miao for removing RIUVA from Blogsuki in 2006 (in all honesty, its largest popularity bid to date), as that obviously will have led directly to my bearing of Tripeman’s tripenile mangobat children. If not explicitly denied, it will be taken for granted.

Man, I’m on a roll with the funniehz.

Fuck.

Well that’s just fabulous. So what I thought I’d do was, I’d stop my “Rage Against The Jason” long enough to pull some kind of “hahaha just kidding!!” gag. Figured it’d be funny. Figured it’d be hiiiiilarious. The plan was simple: I’d rename notdotq “Miao on My Mind,” I’d float my layout down a river of jasonisms, and then I’d ride on the wave of my readers’ cum.

The plan was, as stated, simple. And so I executed it flawlessly.

I renamed notdotq “Miao on My Mind.”

I floated my layout down a river of jasonisms.

But.

I guess that there was a hidden “???” step I missed out on, though, because my plan has gone horribly wrong. I’m not profiting. If anything, my coffers are being depleted. Rapidly. If this goes on much longer, I will lose all means of waging war against the monster. I will lose… everything.

As we speak, I’m rowing and rowing against the river of jasonisms I myself caused to spring forth from the metaphorical spring. It’s like my month’s work has become an oppressive power, and I find myself forced by my morals and learning to fight it.

Fuck.

This is my “remorse” face pose.

I know what I did wrong. It’s the inside jokes. I left them open to interpretation, to those of you who weren’t familiar with them. You might not have understood that my use of “oh geass no” in a recent post was my attempt at lampooning Jason for his idiocy. In fact, you didn’t. You thought that my alleged “love” for Jason was true, that it was real. You probably thought you could reach out and touch it, and you probably did reach out, and you probably touched something.

The truth is that I have, in my attempts at satire, in my attempts at parody, in my attempts at destruction, legitimized idol-worship of Jason Miao.

This is Jason raping me and, by extension, the entire EL aniblogosphere.

I will never forgive myself.

Look at Oi, Hayaku! It’s this shit-awful team aniblog that sprung up a little over a month ago. Its pretentious-as-all-fuck prima donna ringleader, Riex, has promised us an “aniblogging revolution.” He promised us a new era, and above that he promised us awesome. He assembled a kick-ass score of gifted writers. Unfortunately, all but one of these were aware of how much Jason Miao blows.

I can only guess that, being the enlightened individuals they are, Riex’s bitches took it upon themselves to read my blog when researching the ‘sphere. It’s a beacon of intelligence, after all, right? Fuck.

And what did they take away? They took away that Jason Miao is the end-all, be-all of anibloggerality and that his method is a method that will pierce the drivel of the modern aniblogging scene. Oh, how wrong. Oh, how misled. Jason Miao’s methods won’t call in a new era. Jason Miao’s methods won’t change anything for the better. Jason Miao is a staple of the old-age aniblogosphere, the one-time tyrant of Blogsuki, the desecrator of good shows and proponent of filth. Jason Miao is a demon, and following in his footsteps is like being the confessor to his Zange-chan. Using his forced memes is like being the art club to his Nagi-sama.

This is what’s happening, and it’s not even behind the scenes.

I’m not trying to say anything bad about Oi, Hayaku. They’re good people. I know that the harsh logorrhea is flowing, but that’s just my mood.

I’m not trying to say that Oi, Hayaku has nothing to offer to the ‘sphere. As I said, it’s more full of good writers than your mom’s vagina is of flutes.

Oi, Hayaku could indeed be great.

But not like this.

And I’m a nice guy. Like Akari, I’m wishing for your happiness. I want Oi, Hayaku to succeed. I want it to revolutionize the aniblogosphere. I want it to rock hard. So I’ll give the fellows over there a piece of advice: it’s not too late. You can still turn back.

beanbrew. Maggeh. However many others of you think that jasonisms are all the rage.

Fuck, I don’t care who you are.

Don’t feed the monster.

Others and I worked our fingers to the bone breaking his hegemony in June 2006. Hung of BasuGasuBakuhatsu and AnimeNaNo is the main star to thank, what with making Blogsuki useless. But there are dozens. Drm and tj han, who stood up to the abuse they and others received. Corydorf, who encouraged me to wage my all-out war against the then-Anime on My Mind. Everyone who made fun of Jason in IRC. Everyone. Everyone worked together, as a team, to defeat the beast.

tj han fields tripeman against jason

And we succeeded. The community thrived outside of Jason’s grasp. We made a world where new anibloggers could set up their sites without knowing about Jason.

And now, more than two years later, those new anibloggers, in their ignorance, are about to be the Hebrews to my God—they’re going to ignore my warnings, my words of wisdom, and they’re going to worship false idols. The message of this paragraph is not that anyone should worship me. It just seems like it is. Seriously. I’m almost writing stream of consciousness here. Why all the punctuation? Shit, man. I think in punctuation.

Anyway.

Don’t do this. You don’t need to. You can find your own funny, and you can use it to power a new generation in the aniblogosphere. You don’t need Jason. He’s a blighting influence. Purge him from your systems. (I’m mixing metaphors so fast you’d think this was an alchemist’s NASCAR track!)

How do trains resemble race cars? Let me count the ways…

But. I can’t talk of myself as if I were a saint, or the chemo, or what have you. Oi, Hayaku’s writers beanbrew and Maggeh drew to my attention my most grievous mistake: I took my satire too far. I obfuscated my sarcasm. People took me seriously. They thought I loved Jason. They interpreted my parroting as adulation. Have they not watched the Colbert Report? But I cant blame them for a lack of insightfulness. I can only blame myself for failing to communicate.

I can only blame myself, and ask that the ‘sphere reconsider. That Oi, Hayaku reconsider.

I repeat: it’s not too late.

You can still turn back.

Mid-post Breaking News!
This just in: Otou-san divulges the fact that Oi, Hayaku’s shittiness is all a ploy to put me out of business.

I was going to add, at the end of this post, that I was at least touched that Maggeh imitated me ( Exhibit A :: a recent graph of mine | Exhibit B :: a more recent graph of Maggeh’s ). But now I see. This whole thing was merely a plot to steal my crown? Fuck that shit. Oi, Hayaku must not receive Best Satire or Funniest at ABA 2009. I’m donning my “fuck these shits” outfit.

This is my “fuck these shits” face.

This is the greatest and best song in the world. . . tribute.

Long time ago, me…

and my brother Kyle here…

we was hitchhikin’ down a long and lonesome road.

All of a sudden,

there shined a shiny demon…
in the middle…
of the road.

And he said:
“Play the best song in the world,
or I’ll eat your souls.”

Well me and Kyle,… we looked at each other,

and we each said…

“Okay.”

And we played the first thing that came to our heads,

Just so happened to be,

The Best Song in the World,

it was The Best Song in the World.

Look into my eyes and it’s easy to see
One and one make two,
two and one make three,
It was destiny.

These lyrics are so passé.

Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine

and the moon doth glow

and the grass doth grow oooh…

Needless to say,
the beast was stunned.

Whip-crack went his whippet tail,
And the beast was done.

He asked us:

“(snort) BE you angels?”

And we said,
“Nay.”

“We are but men!”

Rock!!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahn,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not “The Greatest Song in the World,” no.

This is just a tribute.

If you’re wondering what an AMB is, wonder no longer—Akari was curious as well, so I explained it to her.

	What’s an “AMB,” Mr. Lolikit?
	Objection!
	Hahi~! Umm… so, Mr. lolikit, what’s an “AMB?”
	An AMB is like an AMV, minus the video, and presented on a blog. You could call it an Anime Music Blog-post, I suppose.
	Suteki~
	Desho?

Yep, it’s pretty suteki alright. Baka-Raptor told me to ask myself, “what would Lovely Kitsune do?” I can’t just make fun of this excellent show known as Mouryou no Hako. I doubt even Lovely Kitsune could. But Lovely Kitsune also doesn’t blog anything seriously. What would Lovely Kitsune do?

He’d write gimmick posts.

October 24th, 2008

BERKELEY, CA—Miao on My Mind, an anime blogging and anime blog blogging site, has been launched to the public today by enthusiastic admin and gold-winning satirist lolikitsune. Already, it has been the target of much fanfare and many rotten oranges tweets. It is both a bitter day for the aniblogosphere and a sweet day for the aniblogosphere; in essence, it is a bittersweet day for the aniblogosphere.

It is a bitter day, because the birth of Miao on My Mind signals the death of notdotq, an aniblog and aniblog blog previously run at the same URL by the same admin. Many long-time readers will be shocked to see their favorite site mysteriously missing when they load their only bookmark.

“I’m not worried ’bout dat,” said lolikitsune, who prefers to go by the more intimate monicker of lolikit, when he was questioned about the issue of reader loyalty, expectations, and potential betrayal. “If a long-time reader looks around with the critical eye I have trained my readers to have, he or she will notice that all the old content is still intact, and that all new content follows in the footsteps of the old.”

When we asked him about the aforementioned “training,” he likened it to a high school education.

“I keep throwing nonsense and utter bullshit at them, you see,” he patiently explained. “Eventually they learn how to cut away that bullshit and get to the heart of things.”

He went on to add, “of course, there isn’t always a heart. Aniblogging is heartless business. But that’s the point, you know? There’s no real substance, anywhere. A true notdotq reader won’t be disappointed by the new shell—the same old lack of meaning is still pervasive.”

Miao on My Mind promises to be “the same old shit” in a “refined package.” The fifteen-day redesign shows lolikit’s hard work in the field of CSS, especially.

“[lolikitsune] learned how to create classes the names of which mean nothing,” said a noted expert from the World Wide Web Consortium. “This is no mean accomplishment. We at the W3C are all very impressed with how far he’s come since he learned HTML 4 in the ninth grade.”

One contact in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Communications Department revealed that the W3C was in fact so impressed with lolikit’s abominable coding habits that plans to file three different lawsuits were currently occupying two entire 1.5TB hard drives. When asked for further details, our contact—who asked to remain anonymous—said that the rest was “classified information.” She also sent us an animated .gif file of a red-haired anime character winking.

But the W3C aren’t the only ones taking notice of—or offense at—lolikit’s latest shenanigans.

“It’s atrocious,” stated Impz of THAT Animeblog [@] and the Anime Blog Awards [@] Committee. “Simply atrocious.”

Owen S. of Cruel Angel Theses [@] concurred with Impz, adding that “lolikitsune is an unthinking douche, and should be removed from the internet with post haste.”

Some, like Shirukii of Anime Blog ga Arimasu [@], merely shrugged when we asked them about the news. “lolikit’s an old friend,” Shirukii said when we pestered him. “I can forgive him for liking flat chests more than <ul> tags.”

Others are on the other side of the love/hate spectrum.

“I think the jasonisms are totally out of hand,” said CCY of Mega Megane Moe [@], in reference to the fact that lolikit’s XHTML stopped being very semantic with the redesign. “But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know? lolikitsune has always been an out-of-hand kind of guy. And he’s doing something 100% original, bringing a new style of anime blog to the table.”

100% original, it might be noted, so long as you count “recycling the memes of others” as original. To lolikit’s credit, most anime bloggers recycle crowd memes (see: 4chan) or their own memes, and the reuse of other anime bloggers’ memes is a rare practice. Devoting a site to this is an even rarer practice, and indeed lolikit’s efforts might be the first in the field.

The new genre of website that Miao on My Mind purports to be—”aniblog, aniblog blog, and aniblogger shrine”—may sit stagnant for months or even years before lolikit sees new neighbors joining him, rushed studies show. Only 1 in 17 anime bloggers even recognize the term “aniblog” as official jargon in the aniblogosphere, and only about 1 in 25 read other anime blogs. With those numbers, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will be joining Miao on My Mind anytime soon.

“I did quick studies of my own,” admitted lolikit when we asked him about this. “Ran some quick simulations through Technorati, converted the results into some pleasing graphs, and quickly discovered that the most likely candidate to start up another site like Miao on My Mind in the next two years is yours truly. Now THAT is Web 2.0!”

We appreciated lolikit’s jovial tone, but we noted the despair in his eyes. He’s a true pioneer.

When asked about the future of Miao on My Mind, lolikit lightened up significantly.

“Oh, it’s going to be awesome!” he declared. “The site looks different, but behind the scenes, nothing’s really changing. Working on notdotq was almost always fun, so Miao on My Mind will be a barrel of monkeys as well, I’m sure.”

We asked him to be more specific about his plans.

“Well, at some point I’m going to have to acknowledge those Oi, Hayaku! guys. Riex has been clutching onto my epenis for dear life. He’s even stalking me on Facebook. I feel like the guy from LME in Skip Beat—if I don’t satisfy this fellow, he’ll follow me to the grave. That aside… I guess I’m going to be blogging some anime this season, Mouryou no Hako, and whatever else catches my fancy. As for aniblog blogging, I’m long overdue for some good Versus posts. Expect to see the following before the year is out: Baka-Raptor.com VS. LovelyKitsune.com, Natsuneko VS. TheBigN, and the big one that everyone’s been waiting for, anime|otaku VS. Cruel Angel Theses.”

In short, lolikit’s spirits are wavering back and forth like Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni‘s per-episode quality, and his ambitions are soaring like the proverbial (and actual) paper airplanes of noted symbolism anime ef. It will be interesting to see what comes of this transformation, and where Miao on My Mind goes from here.

In the meantime, we can satisfy our hunger for lolikit’s obscenities by examining the various new pages of information that he has set up around the site, including, but not limited to, a fresh page about the admin in question himself, a new page of frequently asked questions, and a page about blogging awards.

Lastly, lolikit expressed his desire to thank selected members of the aniblogosphere. We have published his message along with our article, and you can read it just below.

FUCK JASON MIAO!

Thank you, lolikit.

lolikitsune, also known as Flak, is a first-year student at the University of California, Berkeley, where he will begin exploring the fields of Cognitive Science, Rhetoric, and Legal Studies in January. He spends half his time working in the Communications Department at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, and in his free time he enjoys writing stories—such as Miao on My Mind’s featured Night Switch—and maintaining websites, both activities he’s pursued for several years now. You can learn more about him at his main site, Dreams of the Quill.

The former notdotq was part of the second generation of anime blogs, rearing its little head around the same time as other now-notable anime blogs, including the award-winning Minaide! Hazukashii… and the award-winning RIUVA (recipients of Bronze and Silver in the 2008 Anime Blog Award’s Satire section, respectively). notdotq has come and gone four times in the last three years, appearing and disappearing with the seasons and lolikitsune’s mood swings.

divine retribution

Of course, Ex-Fansubber Hitorigoto site isn’t the funniest on that list. The funniest in terms of intentional comedy is most likely Daijoubu. Kurogane‘s is just sad because he’s a fanboy of moe and dislikes trolls. Hinano’s site is too… girly :\ Riuva and Jason are (a little) funny in the same unfortunate way—how the fuck did they become so popular? No one knows. All anyone knows is that they just did.

Nagato Yuki’s sluttiness will always be a little funny.

They sound suspiciously like fansubs, don’t they?

So, I’m a huge fan of transparency. And the Anime Blog Awards have transparency—you can easily see who nominated what. But I like taking transparency a step further. A step further into the realm of attention whoring. So I’m going to display all my nominations here along with unfunny comments.

Best Episodic Blog
I nominated Shirukii and Lovely Kitsune. Bias in the case of the former, adulation in the case of the latter. Lovely Kitsune blogged epic on AIR, and it’s arguable that without him I would not have started anime blogging, and that without that, ANO‘s IRC channel would have never been created, and that without that, the ANO community might never have come together, and well… the possibilities run wild from there. But basically, Jason Miao would still run the aniblogosphere.

I guess I’m making it sound like LK’d be good for Most Influential Blog (which he is), but this is due in large part to his episodic posts, which are deserving of epic lulz.

Best Editorial Blog

I nominated jp meyer. He is true win of the editorial. Or at least, he was. I hear he hasn’t been blogging about Kimi ga Nozomu Eien and porn conventions and college anymore, now that he’s not in college anymore. Or is he still? What does an absentfag like me know.

Best Team Blog

I rowed, rowed, and fought the power, and didn’t nominate either of the favorites. I nominated Anime Diet and Anime Blog ga Arimasu. The former because Mike thinks Lain is good (I’m a troll, right?) and the latter because technically Soda accompanies Shirukii.

Also, there has been much outcry against the disappearance of Epic Win Blog. I would have nominated them, but they apparently disappeared off the face of the planet or something. Ah well, must be divine retribution for liking Lucky Star.

Best Manga Blog

I nominated Extrange. He introduced me to My Lovely Ghost KANA or something like that. It was delicious cake and I was a regional CO. ’nuff said.

Most Influential Blog

Here I once more nominated jp meyer and Lovely Kitsune. jp meyer started blogging around the same time as me, just a little over two years ago. He is epic win and inspired me to be such as well. Lovely Kitsune I already explained. In addition to these two, there is one more:

Owen.

He’s the epitome of anti-influential seeing as he is a derivative work of me. Buuuuut, to be generous, for the purposes of nominations I took the absolute values of everyone’s influence. Owen got up to >9000 instantly, and thusly deserves a nomination.

Best Dorama

DrmChsr0 gets my only nomination in this category. DarkMirage deserved one but I hate dislike him intensely. Drm on the other hand is lovable Jesusfag.

Rookie of the Year

I nominated Owen here again, just to put him in his place. As he himself rightfully noticed, he is technically a rookie until April 9th, the date that my chef d’oeuvre Lucky Star post forced him into the aniblogosphere.

Funniest Blog

More Lovely Kitsune and jp meyer. These Anime Blog Awards are pretty good at at least one thing—they are helping me put a finger on why I like the blogs that I do. Notice how I’m like, the one guy who DIDN’T nominate Jason for this category.

Best Satire Blog

jp meyer. The others are, unfortunately, all complete garbage.

Best Seiyuu-Orientated Blog

I didn’t nominate anyone for this category, for the obvious reason that I would spam my nomination comment with “THE OGRE THE OGRE THE OGRE THE OGRE” and links to hashihime who, though I appreciate him for his work on Simoun, seems to have taken it upon himself to become Hirano Aya’s lifetime biographer. And she is hideous to behold.

Most Thought-Provoking Blog

I’m embarrassed that I nominated Mike for this category. Especially after that post about fansubs and slavery. Totally fucking depressing.

At least I made up for it by nominating Owen (who’s deep like a whore) and jp meyer (who’s deep like stingrAIDs).

Best Blog-related Comic

I’m not going to discuss my nominations in this category because there’s nothing funny about meta-humor. I’ll just say that DiGiKerot is cool.

Best Figurine Blog

I gave a pity nomination in this category to my cute kouhai Riuva. I could go on about “not-win anime blogger” or “tri-penile mangoes” or whatever, but I don’t think I will. Instead I’ll just say that Riuva could have won my support in other categories were it not counter to the very nature of Riuva as originally envisioned to be involved in other categories. Whew. That was hard to say.

Best Art/Doujin/Visual Novel Blog

Best News Blog

Objection!

In closing I think I’ll just say this: nominate notdotq for Most Influential, or Funniest, or Best Satire, or Best Dorama. Any of those or all of them. Remember the Haruhi hate. Remember the Higurashi hate. Remember the Lucky Star hate. Remember the love.

V!

EDIT: I am impelled to apologize to Baka-Raptor. Even though he went back on his morals and made his site look more like a blog, he’s almost Lovely Kitsune-class funny and that’s epic and I should have nominated him. Unfortunately, the time to edit comments is over. OTL