Yet these hands will never know KIRA~☆

Kaioshin Sama of internet infamy (mostly due to his trollish appearance, which in turn is mostly due to the fact that he has taste and a brain) has issued a challenge to me in the comments of one of RABURI RABURI ghostlightning-chan’s suteki My Hometown-style hippie anti-war pro-love posts. **I move away from the mic to breathe in** The post had been about how people shouldn’t mindlessly hate things, and I had sort of “derailed” (har har) the comments by my introducing my belief that love should be justified just as much as hatred, and that people should always be able to back up their evaluations of shows (and studios).

While we were on the topic of thinking and challenging oneself to be more critical, Kaioshin said:

And if you are looking for a challenge I have one for you. Find me something good that Jason Miao did in terms of blogging……..ever. I have a feeling that I’ve sent you on a wild goose chase, but this could prove interesting nonetheless.

I could point at the sky walls of this blog and yell “Who the hell do you think I am?!” but, as some shrewd observers might observe, the Jason Miao love evident on this site is merely high-level mendacity in its most convoluted form. I have no love for Jason Miao. I am not his biggest fanboy. I cannot point at his forced memes and say “BEHOLD!” while crushing Kaioshin’s challenge in his face.

Two drills, of hand and tail combined—the unison of Vindication, Loli-Kitsu!!

Well, I could. But shouldn’t there be some limit to how sarcastic I can be?

Having decided to take Kaioshin’s challenge seriously, I shall now present unto the aniblogosphere the two and a half good things Jason Miao has done “in terms of blogging,” which I take to mean both “behavior helpful to anibloggers” and “spectacularly legendary blog posts that stimulate the ‘sphere.”

2.5 – Jason Miao liberated Sixten

Were it not for Jason Miao, aniblogosphere illustrator-commenter extraordinaire Sixten would not be the appreciable source of lulz he currently is. Yes, in order to unleash Sixten’s Miao Diary upon the world Jason first had to indenture the poor guy and give him one hell of a complex. Check out this quote:

I am not taking commissions right now, except from family members or Jason Miao (who can always get work from me for free if they ask nicely). – Sixten, Artists are cheap

My interpretation? This guy is whipped.

In any event, it is fact that Sixten was bound to Jason and it is fact that Jason set him free. This is perhaps the best thing Jason has done character-wise; it reflects well on him. I wouldn’t say it’s the best thing he’s done in terms of blogging (hence this point only being ranked #2.5), but it’s pretty good. The Sixten we know today is breaking people everywhere while producing and sharing enjoyable artwork. He’s a positive force in the aniblogosphere, using his art to comment on developments in the community.

It’s good to have the present-day Sixten, and for that, I thank Jason Miao.

1.5 – Jason Miao ran Blogsuki horribly

Because Jason was an elitist prick and Blogsuki was nothing more than Jason Miao’s personal feed reader masquerading as a service to the aniblogocircle, there was room for Hung to come on stage, create Animeなの, and weave a basket from the lonely reeds.

Had Jason run Blogsuki well, the aniblogosphere would have evolved very differently. It’s a good thing he fucked up.

What? “How did he fuck up,” you ask?

Well, riddle me this. Can you load Blogsuki? Fuck off.

It’s good to have the present-day ‘sphere, and for that, I thank Jason Miao.

0.5 – Jason Miao is the aniblogosphere’s Virgin Mary

I always pin my genesis as an aniblogger on Fred Gallagher, because one of his Megatokyo rants got me to watch AIR, and that was around the time I was a regular poster on the AnimeSuki forums, through which I encountered Lovely Kitsune. And this is with good reason, for were it not for Lovely Kitsune I would have no idea what anime blogs are. He was also the one to introduce me to blogrolls (I remember he hated bluemist for placing him on his blogroll) and AIM blocks (I hero-worshipped him because I didn’t know better).

From my first post regarding the 2008 Anime Blog Awards:

Lovely Kitsune blogged epic on AIR, and it’s arguable that without him I would not have started anime blogging, and that without that, ANO’s IRC channel would have never been created, and that without that, the ANO community might never have come together, and well… the possibilities run wild from there. But basically, Jason Miao would still run the aniblogosphere.

But all that said, Lovely Kitsune merely gave me awareness. The one who propelled me into creating “notdotq, seriously!” and the lolikitsune persona was none other than Jason Miao. Thanks to his hard work creating this post, singularity was avoided and the present we know is the true and correct present.

I’ll have you notice a few things about this post of his: first, it’s tongue-in-cheek, second, it’s funny, and third, it’s mostly useful. Unbelievable, right? I mean, this is Jason Miao we’re talking about!

… it’s high time I check my quality rating again.

But I digress! Back on the topic of hand, that post got me to begin blogging anime. Now, I ask that you look around you. Were it not for me, would Animeなの’s community have developed as it did? Take a moment to chew on that one. Would Dr. Japes and Hinano be getting married? Would Os have cycled through four team blogs or would he have given up when his friends in KonOSono bailed on him? Would Owen have ever begun blogging? Would he have formed the ABC? Would I have met Author and Sixten? Would I be making a crappy visual novel?

THAT would not have been formed.
Riex would not have joined THAT.
Riex would not have been unhappy with THAT.
Riex would not have launched Oi, Hayaku!
ghostlightning would not have started his blog.

All these “what ifs” build on each other’s shoulders. Really, it’s a circle jerk of hypotheticals, and I could ramble in Aozora Loops about the possibilities, but I think that there are some fairly simple chains of events leading from that one post of Jason’s in early 2006 to the aniblogosphere we frolic around in daily as 2008 comes to a close.

I’m not trying to say that I’m the central pillar of the EL aniblogging community (though I might if I were being less serious). I’m just pointing at the fact that Jason Miao set great things in motion, albeit unintentionally.

So I’d like to be the Raigyo to Jason’s white-haired children, and say this:

“Look at the seed you planted in me. Look how well I took care of it.”

I like the baby monsters given birth to by AoMM’s Echidna, and for that, I thank Jason Miao. Awwww yeah, I just went Greek mythology on your asses. What? You want the good ol’ Bible Bitchslap? Fine. Fuckin’ “monotheists.” Well, buckle up and brace for impact because I’m about to e-jaculate all over your keyboards:

Jason Miao is the Virgin Mary to my Jesus Christ, and for that, I thank him.

Hopefully, the above picture and the one right before it help illustrate the differences between Christianity and Greek mythology: Christianity got rid of the furries and taught people to be ego-centric. Who the fuck needs siblings? Not Jesus Christ.

Well, I’d say I’ve thanked Jason Miao enough. *retches*

Now I’d like to thank Kaioshin Sama for giving me the opportunity to give thanks where thanks were due. I can now return to hating Jason Miao to my Heart’s Content!

P.S. YES I AM THE MOTHER-FUCKING ANIBLOG MESSIAH.

P.P.S.

Bin Laden didn’t blow up the projects
It was U Jason
Tell the TRUTH Jason
Miao knocked down the towers
Tell the TRUTH Jason
Miao knocked down the towers

P.P.P.S. IN B4 “TOO SOON”

Right now it seems I’m prioritizing my work on this over more serious writing, so please reward my efforts with helpful feedback :)

You can ask Jason Miao for a sign.

So yeah. Please, download this and test it out. Even if you’ve played previous versions. There’s a lot of new content, save games from previous versions should still work, and Skip Mode should remember what text you read in previous versions (it does for me).

Download whichever build floats your platform:
Mac: .zip, 7.2mb
Linux: .bz2, 3.9mb
Windows: .zip, 4.6mb

Changelog :: v0.04

==== Endings ====
+ 2 bad endings
+ 1 good ending
==== Characters ====
+ Owen (introduced outside of bad end)
+ Baka-Raptor (professor)
+ Os (professor)
+ DarkMirage (professor)
+ Scott (student)
+ Mike (student)
+ Riex (professor)
+ Impz (professor)
+ lKnight (professor)
==== Gameplay ====
+ 3 menus
+ Day 1 has a date
~ updated concluding notes
~ updated tutorial
==== Contents ====
+ 3600 words (total is over 9000 now)

If you do either of the things he mentions, you’re a pedophile. I’m a pedophile.

Anime bloggers featured/referenced thus far:

Baka-Raptor (male)
CCY (male)
CJ (female)
DarkMirage (male)
hashihime (mentioned)
Impz (trap)
Jason Miao (male)
Jeff Lawson (mentioned)
lKnight (male)
lolikitsune (male)
Marmot (female)
Mike (male)
Omo (female, genderbent)
Os (male)
Owen S. (male)
Riex (stuffed animal)
Shirukii (mentioned)

Again—I don’t have character art, and I likely won’t ever if someone doesn’t contribute it. There will be credits. There probably won’t be payment. I want this to be an open “resource” for the aniblogosphere. So that people can say “I see what you did thar” and make their own VNs. Yeah.

Art? Contribute it.
Music? Contribute it.

I’m focusing on writing, and throwing in cop-out backgrounds where I can.

Thank you for your time!

Now for some random whoredom:

• a post of mine has been published on Oi, Hayaku! I’m linking this not only to get you guys to read my post, but also to get Riex to see this post. He’s a lazy fellow who only checks trackbacks. Lamer.

• lolikitean is now a word. ghostlightning continues to rock my socks.

Yeeah.

http://podcast.dotq.org

Download and grovel in pain. Hopefully there’ll be no more of this trash.

Day 8

Day 8 was Friday, the last day of my internship at Lawrence Berkeley National Lab. We were crammed into an auditorium all day, watching each other give boring talks about our work. I was hella nervous for the first hour or so (I’m not so comfortable with public speaking) and then I had my turn and then I was just uncomfortable. I’m too large for the auditorium seats; it’s like being in airplane where there’s no leg room, etc. I found myself unhappy with the situation. I couldn’t find anything wonderful to think about it. After work was over, I got my paycheck (woot, tons of money) and then cleaned out my cubicle (sniff).

Went home, changed, finished packing, caught a train to the San Francisco airport. It was time to make my first trip on my own—my trip to Otakon 2008.

My airport experience was fairly wonderful, surprisingly. See: I have to travel with artificial blood protein due to my hemophilia, and that stuff can’t go through the scanners. <abbr title=”fucking bastards”>TSA</abbr> is great at molesting/raping people with special needs in security. I have some beef with them. BUT this time stuff was fairly painless. In fact, my passport (which I was using as my ID) proved more of a problem; the photo’s from about nine years ago and doesn’t look like me at all.

I sit around a bit, loaded down with Clif Bars (my mom thought I might starve/my plans with Pip might fall through due to him being an internet weirdo and she gave me a hefty supply of rations *rollseyes*)
, waiting for my plane. It comes, I get on it, and off I head for Charlotte.

On the plane, I offer Starbursts to my seat neighbors. They decline to partake. Phooey.

Day 9

We land in Charlotte without trouble—a little early, in fact—and I wait around for two hours for my connection to Baltimore. I talk to some nice folks in the gate who were even more sleep-deprived than I. I can’t sleep on planes due to extreme discomfort; these people had had a flight canceled and had been in the airport waiting for far longer than I’d been in my plane.

Eventually we leave Charlotte. I offer a Starburst to my neighbor and he graciously accepts, twice!

Get into Baltimore, meet Pip, and whoa, whoa, suddenly it’s real, it’s happening—the crazy idea of flying to Baltimore for one weekend just for Otakon, I’m there, I’m talking to Pip!

Some un-wonderful things come to light: Erica Friedman has run a yuri panel, and at it, she dubbed Aria yuri. Otakon has too many people and too many lines. Omo failed to get an aniblogging panel through. Os is a Hirano Aya fanboy that will always irk me. Etc.

A lot of the weekend was a blur. I had so much fun just being around the people I met—
Pip, Os, Pip’s sister, Os’s friends, Baka-Raptor, TheBigN, Moy, Omo, Wildarmsheero, Link, maybe more I’m missing here…

My behavior most of the con was fairly not-Mizunashi. But I don’t think that made it un-wonderful. I think that it would have been extremely lame if I had refused to have fun and let go around my friends, if I hadn’t made jokes about trashing Friedman’s booth, if I hadn’t recorded a podcast with Pip, if I hadn’t spouted anti-Hirano shit constantly. I mean, this is me. This is who the people I was with knew. We all had a great time and I don’t think I made anyone feel uncomfortable.

Actually, I might have upset Baka-Raptor by being too wonderful once or twice.

But yeah. It was wonderful.

Other anime bloggers have done a better job covering what actually happened at the con better than I could. Yeah.

Since the con is covered and this is an anime blog blog, allow me to instead say some things about some of the guys I met:

Never get into Os’s car. He is the Yukari-sensei to my Chiyo-chan.
Pip doesn’t actually want to put his penis in my butt.
Baka-Raptor was really quiet the first few hours. Then he started singing anime songs in response to questions and comments. That was badass. Maybe he was just shy ;)
Os is really nice and gregarious. It’s kind of scary.
Baka-Raptor tells the saddest stories; he reduced me to tears three times in two days.

At about eleven, Pip and Os and I returned to our hotel room, where we dined on Clif Bars and recorded a podcast. Pip showed his underaged sister porn. We lol’d. Eventually I fell asleep in Os’s arms.

Day 10

Woke up Sunday sad because Pip was leaving. It was a short dream, but it was fun. We bid our farewells and then Os and I hit up AMVs. After some time of that, we ran into Baka-Raptor again and took to the dealer’s room. Baka-Raptor and I returned to the AMV room after a while where we laughed and discussed ideas for Maid Guy and ef AMVs. Mmm.

After failing to get our hands on swords, Baka-Raptor and I reconvened with Os and we got lunch. I cried into my tuna sandwich.

Baka-Raptor, I am never eating a meal with you again!

At three, the entire thing was over. Os drove me to BWI and I waited around for hours for my fight. Caught two planes back—getting lost in the Las Vegas airport due to gate changes—and then spent the night at my bro’s place in San Bruno. Again, I offered Starbursts to my neighbors and again one declined while one accepted. Things were pretty suteki, I guess.

I don’t know.

There’s so much to talk about. It was really sad saying good-bye to Pip and Os. I wish I could have spent more time with them. I guess there’s always next year, though. I’m definitely burning a the time and money again. It was so worth it.

I didn’t take many photos. In fact, I only have one—of Os, and Pip, and Pip’s sister, and Os’s friend, at a table at a grill where we ate burgers and cheesecake. I’m feeling a little selfish so I wanna keep that pic to myself for now.

From the beginning, Mizunashi Mode was never “let’s pretend we’re little girls on Mars.” The point wasn’t to be Mizunashi Akari, but to examine human interaction. I discovered that there are still people out there who like graciousness and kindness and reciprocate wonderful gestures. Smiling evokes smiles. Peace and calm can be obtained. There are things out there that ruin wonderful mode, like Hirano Aya and my hatred for her, and you know, all the strife and shit in our world, but the idea of being kind for its own sake and making others happy is a good one.

I’m ending my time with Mizunashi Mode prematurely because I’ve found what I wanted to find. I’m still going to abide by some of the rules of the experiment because they’re good rules for living. Be wonderful.

I’m not going to write any more reports, though, unless something groundbreaking occurs—and if such a thing should happen, I wouldn’t need an “experiment” premise in which to discuss it in this blog. So yeah. No more updates, but I’ll still be examining the world while attempting to be kind to others.

It’s been great and it will continue to be great as I hone my suteki powers.

Expect a return to trolling and meta-anibloggery some time this weekend.

I was talking to Pip and Os excitedly about how wonderful this weekend will be (going to Otakon, meeting anibloggers, etc.) and then Pip tells me that Sasa wants him to put his penis in my butt. Shortly thereafter he tells me that Os wants him to do it, too. Next he says he wants to. Finishing blow? He tells me that I want him to.

That was awkward and I felt kinda :S

Baka-Raptor, I’ve filled out my application:

P.S. Still don’t have reliable (private) internet access. I’ve got fairly reliable internet access at work, but that’s on a government computer on a government network and I’ll be damned if I so much as load this site there. Also, no anime for a while. I can still write posts in Google Docs there and then post them on various acquaintances’ comps, so I might try to do some of that in the not-so-distant future. Some posts to look forward to:

1. how ARIA ruined subtext for me
2. how ARIA ruined yuri for me
3. how Japan ruined Hatsune Miku for me
4. how good Lamune is
5. how good To Heart (the first series) is
6. why is Code Geass so gay? Nobody knows. /A/ll /a/nyone knows is that it just is.
7. why I hate my parents and why I still haven’t bought a computer
8. why I’m so filthy rich (I still haven’t bought a computer!)
9. ten people whom I’d love to spend the rest of my life with
10. ten blog posts I’d die to write

I woke up two episodes later, went back to the hotel room, cleaned up, and headed for AMVs, which were much more exciting. At this point, I was super low energy (and probably kind of lame) so I headed back to the room to catch a nap. … this was everyone’s plan, it seemed, because there was barely room for me to walk for all the bodies on the floor. Soooo I got on my comp and blogged Friday and Saturday.

After blogging, I sort of hung around and talked to people for an hour or two. Then grabbed breakfast, hit up the dealer’s room, tried to watch more AMVs/anime, and I either succeeded or failed epicly because and completely just forgot I met up with CCY and his friend at noon. Author wasn’t there (fucker!!) and no one else approached me with my sign (sigh…). There was some good punching. We chatted a bit, wandered a bit, and then next thing I knew I was waking up for the webcomics panel at 3 P.M. I know that sounds suspicious, but I promise it’s not what it sounds like. It sucked because Dom wasn’t there. What.

Somehow the rest of the evening burned away—I think we watched some Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and Dennou Coil, and I think I fell asleep a couple times. Eventually I went to the room to nap only to run into a super-awkward situation involving a male friend and his female friend. It was lulz, though, because I’m good at making awkward awkwardly funny. An hour or two later, I hit up a pizza place nearby with the guy who watched School Days with me. After that, we went to Damn You Internets…

… is what I’d LIKE to say, but it was canceled. It turns out that maybe the convention center doesn’t like having watermelons spun on against their floors. Remember, with every full revolution of your fist, your arm grows one step longer. Instead of Damn You Internets, we cracked Nice Boat jokes while in line for the second Gainax/TTGL panel. The panel itself may or may not have been cool; I went to pick out Jason Miao but was easily distracted by the opportunity to watch AMVs across the hallway. It’s kind of sad because I don’t even like AMVs that much. Then again, I don’t even like TTGL that much, and that’s not even me talking about my feelings for Gainax. FLCL? You really don’t want me going there.

After some AMVs degenerated into Anime Hell, we went across the hall again, this time to the Karaoke Gong show, which was being run by Tommy. Yes, that Tommy. The Tommy who confiscated my sign at AOD 2006. The Tommy whose karaoke contest we trolled at AOD 2007. My friend lolikappa/Duk/Sunshine was signed up to do Shiraishi Minoru. I was lulzing at the prospect until two people before my friend did Shiraishi Minoru. At that point I decided that Minoru was corporate bastardization in a similar vein to Haruhi, and I took down the minoru-dan.dotq.org site in a fit of self-righteous fanboy fury.

My friend’s “Ore no Wasuremono” was total fail but it was total fail done right. Before singing, he dedicated the song to Tommy. Before the judges said their bits, Tommy told my friend that he had come a long way from the little boy with the lolicon sign. I /facepalmed but my friend on stage—and my friends in the audience—called out to me. I stood.

“Take out the sign!” they said. “We know you have it with you!”

I had previously put it in my pocket. A suspicious not-so-obvious troll staff member had told me to take it off, so I had. I had, however, made a grievous mistake right after returning from pizza. I had left it in the room. My pocket had no sign. I decided to go out in a blaze: I would empty all my pockets, rip off my clothes—”I HAVE NO SIGN!!!”

But. It was not to be.

After emptying one pocket, I found in the other my schedule for the convention. My schedule, which had been used as scratch paper by KigaMoosh at our Create That Anime! panel. My schedule, which had “FURRY!!!!” scrawled across the back. Changing my plans in a flash, I carefully unfolded the piece of paper and then held it out.

“I HAVE BECOME A NEW MAN!” I shouted. Tommy laughed. The audience—what of it could see the new improvised sign—went wild. It was awesome. My friends couldn’t contain themselves and burst out. I bit my lip to keep myself from cracking up. I was almost crying—I couldn’t be the lolicon I wanted to be. I had to become a furry.

Then some other shit went down, and I ended up going to bed at midnight.

That was a good day somehow, even if I don’t remember what the fuck happened for most of it.

BY THE BY HERE’S WHAT I BOUGHT AT THE CONVENTION:

ARIA FIGURINES

PRESIDENT ARIA

FINALLY, in response to some things said earlier:

Zeroblade:

Also, your con posts are composed of incoherent rambling.

No; they’re composed of sleep deprivation, euphoria, and enthusiasm. Incoherent rambling is the resulting structure, not the entirety of the composition.

IcyStorm:

Punch Miao for me. He’s been soiling the name "Jason."

Fucking Jason.

Os:

You noob. You dont go to cons to watch episodes of anything.

Shut the fuck up, Mr. I Don’t Know The Joy Of Enjoying Things With Others.

Jared:

So I herd you liek me

FUCK YEAH JARED

P.S. I will write about Monday ASAP. Also, I have new shit to disseminate regarding Damn You Internets. Also, next year I will panel as much as possible. It turns out that our Create That Anime! panel was the funniest and possibly best of all the events this year, so clearly we should do more of it

P.P.S. The only two things that would have made the weekend better than it was: more people watching School Days Saturday night, and Damn You Internets not sucking.

P.P.P.S. I should blog anime again sometime.

First, he grew a k, two ns, and three more os. He became konOSono. He absorbed some friends and they, like all good friends, betrayed him by not living up to his expectations. Hopes and dreams shattered, he left konOSono behind.

He came upon a k and harvested an a, an r, an h, and an i. He became karOShi. That didn’t work out too well either, though he assembled yet another small crew. His gay lover (Pip, male form) stopped screwing him in the pooper nightly when he went to Paris. Os, his heart in pieces, told his small crew to fuck itself. The crew responded by disappearing from the internet, which made Os emo.

Time passed.

Pip met and fell in love with Sasa.

Os, thinking that he could somehow remain in proximity to his former love by sticking like glue to Sasa, did just that: he stuck himself to Sasa. His motto was “by any means necessary” so he made the sacrifice and sliced himself in two and spliced those pieces into a larger body of letters: chrOme.daSaku.net.

After a while of boring slow times, I returned to the aniblogosphere and flamed the living hell out of Hirano Aya. Os was so entranced with my DFC and dextrous fingers that he forgot Pip and begged to join me.

And here he is, like so many other love-stricken fools, camped out in front of my domain.

http://os.dotq.org

I would say that I have won, but, knowing Os’s nature, it’s going to take a lot of effort on my part to hold onto him.

Also, I remember that the blog directory was "osu/", but everyone else calls Os just that, so I didn’t give it a second thought. If he’s detecting "oozing sarcasm", I hope he’s not detecting intentional insulting mis-spellings… Now I observe that the author’s category at Heterochromia does have the "~u". Oh boy, this is awkward.

Don’t feel awkward, Author. Os is Os. I could say that I don’t know where the “~u” comes from (I actually do, but facts have never interfered with this blog before), but whether or not I know is kind of irrelevant. As irrelevant, in fact, as whether or not it’s officially part of his official handle now (trust me, it wasn’t in the past).

How can I make such a confident statement about the irrelevance of your question?

Os is Os. KYOUSORA.COM claims that is so, and KYOUSORA.COM is definitive.