October 24th, 2008

BERKELEY, CA—Miao on My Mind, an anime blogging and anime blog blogging site, has been launched to the public today by enthusiastic admin and gold-winning satirist lolikitsune. Already, it has been the target of much fanfare and many rotten oranges tweets. It is both a bitter day for the aniblogosphere and a sweet day for the aniblogosphere; in essence, it is a bittersweet day for the aniblogosphere.

It is a bitter day, because the birth of Miao on My Mind signals the death of notdotq, an aniblog and aniblog blog previously run at the same URL by the same admin. Many long-time readers will be shocked to see their favorite site mysteriously missing when they load their only bookmark.

“I’m not worried ’bout dat,” said lolikitsune, who prefers to go by the more intimate monicker of lolikit, when he was questioned about the issue of reader loyalty, expectations, and potential betrayal. “If a long-time reader looks around with the critical eye I have trained my readers to have, he or she will notice that all the old content is still intact, and that all new content follows in the footsteps of the old.”

When we asked him about the aforementioned “training,” he likened it to a high school education.

“I keep throwing nonsense and utter bullshit at them, you see,” he patiently explained. “Eventually they learn how to cut away that bullshit and get to the heart of things.”

He went on to add, “of course, there isn’t always a heart. Aniblogging is heartless business. But that’s the point, you know? There’s no real substance, anywhere. A true notdotq reader won’t be disappointed by the new shell—the same old lack of meaning is still pervasive.”

Miao on My Mind promises to be “the same old shit” in a “refined package.” The fifteen-day redesign shows lolikit’s hard work in the field of CSS, especially.

“[lolikitsune] learned how to create classes the names of which mean nothing,” said a noted expert from the World Wide Web Consortium. “This is no mean accomplishment. We at the W3C are all very impressed with how far he’s come since he learned HTML 4 in the ninth grade.”

One contact in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Communications Department revealed that the W3C was in fact so impressed with lolikit’s abominable coding habits that plans to file three different lawsuits were currently occupying two entire 1.5TB hard drives. When asked for further details, our contact—who asked to remain anonymous—said that the rest was “classified information.” She also sent us an animated .gif file of a red-haired anime character winking.

But the W3C aren’t the only ones taking notice of—or offense at—lolikit’s latest shenanigans.

“It’s atrocious,” stated Impz of THAT Animeblog [@] and the Anime Blog Awards [@] Committee. “Simply atrocious.”

Owen S. of Cruel Angel Theses [@] concurred with Impz, adding that “lolikitsune is an unthinking douche, and should be removed from the internet with post haste.”

Some, like Shirukii of Anime Blog ga Arimasu [@], merely shrugged when we asked them about the news. “lolikit’s an old friend,” Shirukii said when we pestered him. “I can forgive him for liking flat chests more than <ul> tags.”

Others are on the other side of the love/hate spectrum.

“I think the jasonisms are totally out of hand,” said CCY of Mega Megane Moe [@], in reference to the fact that lolikit’s XHTML stopped being very semantic with the redesign. “But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know? lolikitsune has always been an out-of-hand kind of guy. And he’s doing something 100% original, bringing a new style of anime blog to the table.”

100% original, it might be noted, so long as you count “recycling the memes of others” as original. To lolikit’s credit, most anime bloggers recycle crowd memes (see: 4chan) or their own memes, and the reuse of other anime bloggers’ memes is a rare practice. Devoting a site to this is an even rarer practice, and indeed lolikit’s efforts might be the first in the field.

The new genre of website that Miao on My Mind purports to be—”aniblog, aniblog blog, and aniblogger shrine”—may sit stagnant for months or even years before lolikit sees new neighbors joining him, rushed studies show. Only 1 in 17 anime bloggers even recognize the term “aniblog” as official jargon in the aniblogosphere, and only about 1 in 25 read other anime blogs. With those numbers, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will be joining Miao on My Mind anytime soon.

“I did quick studies of my own,” admitted lolikit when we asked him about this. “Ran some quick simulations through Technorati, converted the results into some pleasing graphs, and quickly discovered that the most likely candidate to start up another site like Miao on My Mind in the next two years is yours truly. Now THAT is Web 2.0!”

We appreciated lolikit’s jovial tone, but we noted the despair in his eyes. He’s a true pioneer.

When asked about the future of Miao on My Mind, lolikit lightened up significantly.

“Oh, it’s going to be awesome!” he declared. “The site looks different, but behind the scenes, nothing’s really changing. Working on notdotq was almost always fun, so Miao on My Mind will be a barrel of monkeys as well, I’m sure.”

We asked him to be more specific about his plans.

“Well, at some point I’m going to have to acknowledge those Oi, Hayaku! guys. Riex has been clutching onto my epenis for dear life. He’s even stalking me on Facebook. I feel like the guy from LME in Skip Beat—if I don’t satisfy this fellow, he’ll follow me to the grave. That aside… I guess I’m going to be blogging some anime this season, Mouryou no Hako, and whatever else catches my fancy. As for aniblog blogging, I’m long overdue for some good Versus posts. Expect to see the following before the year is out: Baka-Raptor.com VS. LovelyKitsune.com, Natsuneko VS. TheBigN, and the big one that everyone’s been waiting for, anime|otaku VS. Cruel Angel Theses.”

In short, lolikit’s spirits are wavering back and forth like Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni‘s per-episode quality, and his ambitions are soaring like the proverbial (and actual) paper airplanes of noted symbolism anime ef. It will be interesting to see what comes of this transformation, and where Miao on My Mind goes from here.

In the meantime, we can satisfy our hunger for lolikit’s obscenities by examining the various new pages of information that he has set up around the site, including, but not limited to, a fresh page about the admin in question himself, a new page of frequently asked questions, and a page about blogging awards.

Lastly, lolikit expressed his desire to thank selected members of the aniblogosphere. We have published his message along with our article, and you can read it just below.

FUCK JASON MIAO!

Thank you, lolikit.

lolikitsune, also known as Flak, is a first-year student at the University of California, Berkeley, where he will begin exploring the fields of Cognitive Science, Rhetoric, and Legal Studies in January. He spends half his time working in the Communications Department at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, and in his free time he enjoys writing stories—such as Miao on My Mind’s featured Night Switch—and maintaining websites, both activities he’s pursued for several years now. You can learn more about him at his main site, Dreams of the Quill.

The former notdotq was part of the second generation of anime blogs, rearing its little head around the same time as other now-notable anime blogs, including the award-winning Minaide! Hazukashii… and the award-winning RIUVA (recipients of Bronze and Silver in the 2008 Anime Blog Award’s Satire section, respectively). notdotq has come and gone four times in the last three years, appearing and disappearing with the seasons and lolikitsune’s mood swings.

And the Phoenix Wright knock-off minigame.

Didn’t something like this happen in the aniblogosphere recently?

internet games are scary—they hit so close to the mark sometimes

If you like things nice and Rule14′d, or if you like hacking and internet drama, or if you like cybering with old men who get turned on by phonographs, or if you like Phoenix Wright, then I suggest that thou getst thee to a Paypallery.

Seriously, it’s great fun.

And finally, to the shits who are thinking, “what? MONEY?! Where’s the free demo?”, you can still play Forumwarz Episode 1 for free. The Crotch Zombie fellows are good people, and their business model is more than fair.

Anyway, you play as a depraved forumgoer whose life goal is to discover something more surprising and disgusting than goatsextubgirlx2girls1cup and then show it to as many people as possible. My account if “Flaxative” if you want to friend me and I’ve made an attempt to join the Encyclopaedia Dramatica “klan.”

For more info on this brilliancy, see: trolling for fun and profit and lulz by jp meyer.

Gloomy, AKA Owen. The man, the blogger, the hegemony.

Don’t say no. You know you are. Even if you have no idea who I am, you know who Owen is. He’s infamous. He’s bigger in the aniblogosphere than I am, despite being more than a year my junior. But this post isn’t about relative status or popularity… this post is about justice. This post is about a veritable terror. This post is about all the little things Owen doesn’t want you to know.

Before I go into any further depths, I need to address a few things you probably do know something about. First, the main influences in the creation of Owen’s blog. Yes, I was one of them. Posting the usual mindless vitriol in response to a harmless show, I accidentally pricked the mind of a lurking troll. He created the Cruel Angel Theses and nailed them to my church’s front door the very next morning. I began apologizing that cold April morning one year ago, and I’m still apologizing to this day.

But much as I enjoy apologizing, I can’t soak up all the fault. I inspired Owen to begin blogging, but the one who gave him his true power over people was the legendary Japes. I say legendary because what was once a fairy tale of love and courage has become a mind-numbing train commute along rails of terrible mech anime. What I mean by all this is that the mighty Japes has fallen.

A beautiful downward slope.

In his place, Owen has risen up, the de facto king of thought-out (and blown-out) analytic diatribes. Utilizing JP’s main weapon—intelligence—Owen conquered worlds. Had he only inherited my share of blogging, he would be nowhere. But no, he acquired that key ingredient I’ve always lacked (again, intelligence) and combined it and trolling to UNISON his way across time and space and somehow become the APEX OF ANIME BLOGGING in about half a year. (He’s actually been declining for five months and fourteen days now, he just doesn’t know it.)

Some might say that the mighty Japes has fallen. I’ve already agreed with this viewpoint, but I’d like to add that semenonfigure is why we can’t have pretty things and that he is legendary even in his demise. His last two posts (here and here) are Jason Miao material. Please, go die JP.

Second on my list of things to address is the role of notdotq in the aniblogosphere. I’m not actually going to address it now because I spent waaaaaay too many words on the last point and I’m trying to get to the delicious stuff. You know. The CAKE—the primary objective. It’s delicious, so the Regional C.O. is fapping it. This means that no further saging is required and that I, having been briefed by the O.P., am to go forward with the plan.

And so I go forward with the plan.

#10.
Owen’s blog is one year old today. Looking at the Anime Blog Awards nominations for Rookie of the Year, you’d think that it was much older than this. Contrary to popular belief, however, Zeroblade and I are not batshit insane. Yes, Owen’s blog was an infant at the start of the Anime Blog Awards. It should be noted here that I don’t actually have any intelligence that this is meant to be a secret. Looking at the nominations list, though, it is obvious: Owen’s blog’s age is a de facto secret. Or at least, it was. I’m Keiichi and I have a shovel and though there are three more trees in this forest than previously accounted for, I’m going to keep digging.

#9.
Owen did not create the Anime Blogging Collective.

#8.
You are not, in fact, trash as well.

#7.
This one is a well-kept secret: Owen is secretly an episodic anime blogger. “How is this possible?!” you might ask, well aware that his Cruel Angel Theses are editorial (I won’t dispute that). I shall respond with an even better-kept secret (two for one!): Owen and Aroduc are one and the same.

#6.
Owen is, in fact, a girl. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, Dango Shithead DID do a good job using reverse psychology to convince you all that Owen’s a dude. DS is in fact one of Owen’s closest henchmen—or maybe even a clone—and that post was 100% truth.

#5.
Owen likes Lucky Star. Yes. You’d think that by the mere act of associating with me, he hates Lucky Star. The rest of the image follows easily: all his adulation for the show is hidden trolling along the lines of my dealings with Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu. But don’t be deceived. In spite of his trolling nature, and in spite of his alleged friendship with me, and in spite of how dishonest he is at times, he is not lying when he claims that Lucky Star is good.

…

I mean, he is not lying when he claims that he thinks Lucky Star is good.

#4.
Owen did create the Anime Blogging Collective.

#3.
Owen has ruled the ABC since its founding, and he continues to to this day. The rumors of a hostile takeover by glompable 15 year-old girls are false, propagated by DS, Aroduc, and Owen (yes, the monster CROSS-POSTS bullshit on his multiple sites).

#2.
Owen is a Nazi Dictator. And he’s sexist. The evidence I am about to produce may seem controversial… and it is… but upon further examination you will find it 100% authentic. You might ask, “why was this not brought to light sooner?” and the answer to that can only be that if I had produced this earlier—before ensuring my safety—Owen’s intricate web of power might have destroyed me. Now, however, I have locked myself in the Gnomes’ caves and have blocked my door with a miniature black hole. Sure of my security, I move forward and produce the evidence, evidence that has been seen by no one outside of the enemy’s orgs… until now. Ladies and gentlemen, docs.

#1.
No, Owen has not grown taller than me. Blogging power levels aside, I fear I shall always and forever tower above him physically.

Happy Blogging Birthday, you lovable fucktard. Here’s to many more.

This is so bad… it’s so bad, I won’t even blog it. It’s… Haruhi-level bad.

What’s so bad about it, you ask?

And what right do I have to talk, having only seen two and half minutes of a single episode of a newly started show?

Oh, we’ve seen this show before. We’ve all seen it before. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu is. Whoredom at its finest. We’ve seen it in Naruto; the single franchise that makes the most money with the least effort. We’ve seen it in Gonzo films that make relatively little money with a lot of effort, but please a lot of fans with “zomfg suteki~” animation. Before Lucky Star, there was this dancing anime.

And now, there’s this dancing anime.

And it’s multiplying.

As you all may or may not know, I’ve long hated the concept of “moe.” It objectifies a set of qualities (given, this set includes every single quality there is, according to Dr. Japes) and turns appreciation into a pretty damn formulaic thing. Instead of enjoying a character for the character as a character, “moe” aspects, traits, behavioral patterns, etc. take the foreground and become reason for a character’s acceptance. Instead of being intrigued by Tsukimiya Ayu’s lack of background, in watching Kanon, fans trouble themselves with “she’s so cute!”

And why’s she cute? Because she says “uguu.” And because she wears that coat, and those mittens, and that backpack, and acts like the little loli bitch she is. But who is she? Does anyone think to wonder?

Don’t you want to know who this girl is? Oh, we find out, after twenty-four episodes, eighteen of which were spent on other characters. There’s no development to Ayu’s character. Yuuichi is frighteningly detached from concern regarding this little girl who claims to know him… and who doesn’t have a family? Or a home? Or a school? Or any of the things she claims she has? All of a sudden, twenty episodes in, he kisses her… but we, the viewers, what motivation do we have for wanting the protagonist to kiss Ayu? Who is Ayu?

Some girl who says “uguu.” She likes taiyaki and dislikes scary things, including the dark.

/me snaps fingers

That’s not a character, and this degeneration of character development in favor of pandering to fetishes/aesthetics is the main reason I’m opposed to the concept of “moe.” “Moe” is whoredom, plain and simple. Yuki’s silence. Haruhi’s psycho bitchiness. Mikuru’s “lolimoe” helplessness. Tsuruya’s nyoro~n. Yes, even Itsuki’s homosexuality. Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu’s saving grace has always been, in my opinion, Kyon’s narration, and that may well be because he has a solid character. Of course, it’s entirely possible that the author of the novels merely made him as bland and dry as possible in order to help readers connect to him. Maybe there isn’t anything, even to him.

So why do I rant against “moe” so vehemently?

Lucky Star is, in a word, “moe.” You only need about 4 seconds of the obnoxious OP to figure that out. Take a look at these responses to bj0rn’s post about the OP:

• Impz says: MOE ATTACK!!!!!! i am dying, i am dying and I want my lucky star now!!!! moeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
• bakavic says: I just died. [...] The dancing is just too addictive…
• Aesir says: holy.. tat was.. just too awesome for words @@

And this explosion occurring as a result of Lucky Star’s entrance isn’t same old, same old. Look how willing these ghouls are; look how eagerly they embrace something knowing the meaning of “moe” and that they’re under some twisted genjutsu. The sos-dan.com site, formed some time last year in response to previous whore-show Haruhi, is scuttling with little bugs of people, the sad remains of people once unaffected by this “moe.” What was once a stupid book about some alien-loving girl has escalated to the level of epic reeducation.

I repeat, it’s multiplying.

I had respect for Kyoto Animation. I respected them for making AIR, the one show I’ve seen with the most compelling atmosphere. I respected them for making Fumoffu, the one show that’s made me laugh the most. I could deal with them making Haruhi; it’s business, after all. I cried more for the Haruhi fans than for myself when they made Kanon—what harm could it do to me? But this… this “Lucky Star” or what have you…

I quote Omni on the OP sequence, “It makes me think that they’re intentionally trying to create another Hare Hare Yukai style sensation.”

You think right, Omni.

They’ve descended from grace and are now fervently recycling everything of theirs that ever worked. Haruhi was passable and Kanon was a step back in the right direction. Lucky Star?

Kyoto Animation, you are whores.

You are whores and your show fucking sucks.