More seriously, though, it’s true that I have not blogged anime in a really long time. My last post on here, in fact, was to the effect that I was totally swamped by that oftentimes elusive, oftentimes painfully-in-your-face thing called “real life.”

But enough of that.

It’s time for a casual and relaxed account of my 2009 anime experience thus far.

Maria+Holic 1-2
I have another five episodes to watch, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. This has nothing to do with the death of subtext; this show is the most blatant thing ever. I think it has more to do with the Shaft style. Bitches need to know when to cut back. I don’t want to watch ef a third time.

Maria-sama ga Miteru Season 4 1-4
Episodes 1 and 2 were awesome; 3 and 4 were terrible. I have 5 and 6 with me but haven’t watched them simply because I don’t have the time. I do want to, and quite badly at that. This show is part of the definition of lolikitsune; it won’t remain unwatched for long.

Aria the Animation 1-3
As one of my New Year’s Resolutions, I restarted Aria. It’s so good.

Toradora 15-18
Slowly, slowly plodding through this. It reached a point where I said “indeed! This IS H&Cesque!” because all the characters seemed to have their own depth and they were all good in very human ways. The only problem is that these characters are like, the pre-H&C good humans, and as such their trials and tribulations all seem painfully immature. I’ll be honest: I’m tired of the mediocrity.

Cowboy Bebop 23
I want to finish this show someday. That’s all I can say.

Aria the Animation 1-3
One of my older brothers (who had seen no Aria previously) decided to try the show out. It’s so fucking good.

Xamd 20-26
The show really petered out in the end. It did the Darker Than Black thing, where there’s lots of unexplained nonsense—and, instead of leaving it unexplained, the creators try to put it all together and come to a conclusion. Like in DTB, this resulted in a lot of stuff not making sense. Shows need to know when to just leave well enough alone.

That said, emotional captain was emotional, cool animation was cool, fun show was fun. I just have no idea why Nazuna got on that bus in the first episode.

Munto TV 1-4
It’s just the OVAs all over again so far, right? Not too big a waste of time, and I’m looking forward to the new material.

Suzumiya-chan 1
I vomited, and couldn’t finish the episode.

Churuya-san 3
I vomited, and couldn’t finish the episode.

Clannad After Story 14-18
Good stuff. Unfortunately, no, this does not redeem 36 episodes of garbage. A couple good moments do not a good show make. No matter what anyone says. I’m not going to argue this at any length right now because I have better things to be doing with my time than engaging in internet debates, but let it be known that that is my opinion. I think the movie did a better job overall. Of course, AS 18 made me want to become a dad, but that’s just because I’m a moron.

Aria the Animation 1-3
Saki, the one-time anime-lover, decided she wanted to give my favorite show a try. I accompanied her. She liked it enough to watch more than one episode. Woot? Incredibly fucking good show.

Aaaaand that’s pretty much what my animescape has been since getting into the UC Berkeley dorms. What, you want more from me? A convention report on AODSF2009? It sucked! Anything else? Satire? Humor? What are those?! I hear the ABAs weren’t happening a second time! I don’t need no fucking awards.

I just want love.

Oh, I watched Coraline, and it scared me shitless more than once. I’m so easily creeped out :(

A Wonderful Sisterhood, Part 1

“What’s your deal?” Touko asked Yumi, irritated.

“Please, Touko! I have something wonderful I’d like to show you.”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me to skip Drama Club practice.” Touko furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head in amazement. The angelic Yumi, encouraging delinquency?

“This is more important, just this once,” pleaded Yumi. “Will you come with me?”

“Alright, alright! But this wasn’t my idea.”

“Hurray! You’re awesome, Touko!”

Touko grimaced, but her grimace was quickly replaced with surprise as Yumi produced her magical mechanical pencil.

“We don’t need a map where we’re going,” said Yumi, and she drew an X on the ground. A bright blue portal appeared out of nowhere. Touko thought that she could hear the sound of the waves and gulls crying, and them Yumi grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the inter-dimensional doorway.

They tumbled out of the portal in a different city, on a different planet, sometime in the early 24th century.

“What is this place?” asked Touko, incredulity written across her face.

“It’s a wonderful place,” answered Yumi, with a wink that added the words, “that doesn’t really answer your question, but that’s okay!”

The girls stood on a wooden walkway looking out over cerulean waters that turned to an aquamarine on the horizon, beneath a pale pink sky. The sun was just rising over the water, and a few streamy clouds raced across the sky, chased by seagulls. The soothing sounds of a pair of mandolins played across the scenery.

A white railing stood between the girls and the water; a pair of white stairs led down in the direction of the open waters. A spiral staircase led up to a balcony of sorts, one that ran all the way around the building the girls were standing by. The wall of the building that faced the sunrise was mostly comprised of a metal shade.

As the sky grew bluer, and as Touko opened her mouth to chastise Yumi for dragging the two of them into some unknown dimension that—while it was very pretty—had nothing to do with the duties of a Lillian girl, this shade opened.

“Ehhh?” A girl with long pink hair, sporting a white nekomimi hat and blue pajamas, stood behind a counter of sorts, her mouth wide open.

“Akari!” squealed Yumi.

“Yumi!” responded Akari, a smile replacing her previous shocked face. She disappeared from behind the counter. The click of a lock and five seconds later, she was on the walkway with Yumi and Touko, shaking Yumi’s hand. “It’s been so long!”

“Hahaha,” laughed Yumi.

“And who is this?” asked Akari.

“She’s Touko, an underclassman and good friend of mine.”

“Then she’s a good friend of mine, too!” exclaimed Akari, shaking Touko’s hand next. Touko found herself almost swept away by the pink-haired girl’s ebullience, but she broke free and scowled at Yumi.

“You know people here?!”

“Of course!” answered Yumi. “The people here are so nice! It’s easy to make lots of friends.”

“brrrrrrr” shivered Akari, rubbing her exposed arms as a breeze passed by. “It’s cold; I’m going to go change. Please, come in, I’ll set out some food!”

Yumi accepted the offer with a gracious nod, took Touko’s wrist once more, and the two of them followed Akari into the building.

“This doesn’t look like a home,” commented Touko as she walked in and saw the the office-like space, replete with desk, phone, and work calendar.

“There’s a kitchen in that other room there,” said Yumi, “and a bedroom upstairs.”

Akari disappeared into that upstairs bedroom, dashing up the staircase.

“This friend of yours is pretty inelegant,” observed Touko disdainfully. “She doesn’t walk very slowly.”

“Oh, Touko, she’s just happy.”

Moments later Akari had descended from her room, clad in a flowing white-and-blue dress.

“That’s one weird outfit,” muttered Touko.

“I’m sure she finds our school uniforms odd,” smiled Yumi. “That’s her company’s uniform, the uniform of the Aria Company. Actually, I’ve always wanted to try wearing it once…”

“I have some spares,” said Akari, smiling disarmingly, “would you like to try them on?”

“PLEASE!” exclaimed Yumi excitedly. Touko cocked an eyebrow.

“They’re upstairs, help yourselves. I’m going to get breakfast ready.”

Yumi dragged Touko up to Akari’s bedroom and opened the closet.

“Look, look! There are so many of them!”

“I won’t change,” grumbled Touko.

“I know you think they’re cute,” laughed Yumi. Touko blushed slightly, glaring at her senpai. “Well, I’m going to change now… please don’t stare at me so intensely.” Yumi said it jokingly, but Touko flushed even further. She stomped over to a window and gazed out at the sparkling waters.

“Ta-da!” exclaimed Yumi after a couple minutes. Touko turned around to see Yumi dressed in a uniform identical to Akari’s. She couldn’t deny that it looked good on her.

“Try it on,” encouraged Yumi.

“F-fine,” Touko said.

A few minutes later, the two Lillian girls descended in Aria garb to find four plates of freshly-baked cheese tarts on the table.

“Four?” Touko asked.

“Yes!” answered Akari. “President Aria is always hungry in the mornings.”

“What is that th-thing?!” exclaimed Touko after Akari pointed to the gluttonous white blob stuck in a highchair.

“He’s not a thing, he’s President Aria,” objected Yumi. “The gondolier companies here always choose a cat with aquamarine eyes as their mascot and symbolic president, you see.”

“That’s a cat?”

“Martian cat,” shrugged Yumi.

“Yumi was also very confused when she first came here and met President Aria,” giggled Akari. “Well, sit down, sit down. I’ll pour the tea in a second.” The two Lillian girls seated themselves opposite President Aria as Akari disappeared back into the kitchen. She reemerged immediately with a pot of tea.

“So, what are your plans for today?” Akari asked, pouring the steaming beverage.

つづく

For those who don’t understand any Japanese, that last bubble is “make a little sister.” Doremi Fansubs are usually decent, and I think they captured Sachiko’s meaning of “accept someone as your little sister” well enough, but I felt like letting a bit of my literalist side take over momentarily. I checked the word in a dictionary, and while “tsukuru” can mean anything from “make” to “cultivate” to “commit sin,” I didn’t find anything in the long list of meanings to keep me from snickering.

Yes, Yumi.

Sachiko wants you to get knocked up.

I’ll write a real post sometime… maybe.

[canned introduction] Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! [/canned introduction]

As DiGiKerot pointed out, there’s a lot wrong with this new season of Maria-sama ga Miteru. This isn’t limited to the OP song change, or to the running in the OP sequence. This episode sees the *gasp* introduction of apparently heterosexual men! In my Hanadera Academy? Obviously it’s more likely than I thought—I would have said the chances were 0%.

Spiral power? “Your sexy lesbian is a sexy lesbian that can pierce the gay man’s gayness?” I don’t even know!

Anyway, this episode sees us approximately one year after the events in episode one of season one. The school festival is coming up, and Lillian Jougakuen’s Yamayurikai is once more holding a play. Once more, the boys from sister gay school Hanadera Gakuen are participating. Once more, there’s some tall, dark, and bishoujo girl bitch who hates men and wants out. Once more, Yumi is given the task of making everything work out.

By the way, Kanako. You want Yumi to remain an angel?

Protip: People die when they’re killed.

Crazy Sachiko, in classic Crazy Sachiko style, informs the actors that the girls and boys will be switching roles. Well, she’s gotten better about gender issues in the last year (remember her moaning about how evil men were?), but this kind of blunt trolling isn’t very attractive. At first Yumi is displeased with her onee-sama’s decision, but then she decides to take it like a good little walking vagina when said onee-sama melts her with her eyes.

Shirukii is also on board with Sachiko’s “meaningful” expressions.

“Rape is imminent.”

In between the Yamayurikai practicing the play and Shimako training her new dog, Yumi has some flashbacks of when she became Crazy Sachiko’s petite soeur. We get some nice piano version of Pastel Pure that almost makes up for the new OP, and… Yoshino suggests that Yumi have a nice anniversary with her onee-sama. I’m starting to see eye-to-eye with IcyStorm here; Yoshino rocks. “Nice anniversary?” Roses, chocolates, a fancy dinner, and a hotel room.

The fanfiction writes itself!

In any event, Crazy Sachiko clearly remembers what day is coming up. She’s got her rape mask on.

Later on, Yumi and Touko are having some problems with their relationship. Thankfully Yumi has learned the lessons taught by Rainy Blue and confronts Touko directly, making a big fuss in front of the Yamayurikai’s sex chapel.

As the school watches in horror, Yumi trills “Ano (Tou)ko wo Rape.”

Now that Maria-sama ga Miteru is current again, I should really do some YFR fic of it, huh?

The stage was set. The metools painted a rainbow over Lillian’s entryway and the Yamayurikai took to the sky in kaiawase formation. Who will profit? Who will get sexxings? Who will make my next blog post funny? So many questions, and a whole another week until episode two…

(The emo girl was emo, but such is the lot in life for those who fall in love with DEAD PEOPLE WHO WERE KILLED. OH EM GEE.)

Fuck Yesssssssssss

Toward the end of the episode, we are informed that Rosa Gigantea is coming back for the school festival. The possibilities are endless. Personally, I’m hoping for the “Sei surprise-sexes Yumi while Yumi is waiting for Sachiko to meet her for their after-festival anniversary-celebratory make-out session” route. Other lovely possibilities include a threesome, an overly-dramatic scene with humongous sexual tension, and a tennis match.

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Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! Maybe I’m a lesbian, by Yuki Seto, on sale at doujin markets near you.

I don’t like the new OP song but that’s just because I’m a stickler for tradition. When Undine came on in Episode 26 of Aria the Natural, I came fucktons of omobuckets. When they got rid of Pastel Pure, I cried more rivers than Noe can throw chickens into. Other thoughts on the OP include, but are not limited to:

• “the cake is lie!”
• “magical girl lyrical fukuzawa?!”
• “needs moar Rosa Gigantea (and not the Shimako variety)”
• “FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES”
• “キター！”

Fuck yes fuck yes Crazy Sachiko is back!!

The second best character Of All Time is Ogasawara Sachiko, AKA “Crazy Sachiko” as dubbed by my senpai and hero, Lovely Kitsune. I say second best because Fukuzawa Yumi (ribbons, funny faces) is younger, and thusly a more acceptable lust-target. Fuck yeah lolis.

Back to Sachiko… why is she so awesome? Nobody knows. All anyone knows is that she just is.

I mean, shit man. She has a “Sa” in her name (さ). Look at that mother-fucker right there. Where have you seen that before? I’ll tell you the fuck where. Remember this guy? Shit yeah you remember that guy. Coincidence? I think not. Sa-chan does not forgive and Sa-chan does not forget. Sa-chan is a psychobitch; expect to not go on dates with her. Did I mention she likes tea? Fuck.

It’s like a damn waterfall down there when I think of her, SHIT.

- question for the peanut gallery: if one can “come harder than omo,” can one “come down more gracefully than IcyStorm” (who orgasms while watching anime approximately once per episode per open IM window yet still functions in society)? -

Sorry for getting derailed. At least “Sachiko” is a better name than “Darry” and all that. Oh and her nose is more sexual. But I digress… back to the episode.

Waitaminute…

I’m going to go download a different version of the episode once my eyes stop being the new waterfall.

Miao on My Mind was way too slow to combo, and I’ve been meaning to dismantle it for a while now. With a final push from ghostlightning, I got off my ass and did it. Welcome home, master. This is notdotq again.

Does this mean I’ve stopped hating Jason?

No.

Does this mean I’ve become less of an asshole?

Fuck no.

So what does this mean, you ask?

I’m taking a step back from shit. Twitter and the fast pace of the aniblogosphere are too much for me right now. I want to be writing, not keeping up with trolling/drama. I’m not saying good-bye; I’m merely waving from across the street.

I’m still _here_.

I’ll blog Maria-sama ga Miteru 4 as promised. I’ll keep working on OH! I’ll keep up the collab work with ghostlightning and lelangir. And I’ll keep trolling. But I’m going to be less active, and a better platform for such neutrality is one that does not scream “I am Jason Miao!” “I hate Jason Miao!” I said I wouldn’t rely on my hatred of him in the Anime Blog Awards this year, and I meant it.

I’ll still participate.

I’ll still win.

But it will be with these two hands, dubbed satire and Midori.

*ahem*

I’ve got some resolution for the new year up at Dreams of the Quill. Only a few, really. ‘sphere, what are your thoughts on the new year? Anything you’d like to change in 2009?

And is there anything you’d like to see from me?

YES YES YES YES!!! The writer’s goldmine known as Maria-sama ga Miteru comes back for a second fourth season! Each episode I write about brings me one step closer to an afterlife of suffering in the fiery depths of the netherworld. Is it worth all that? The answer is a resounding FUCK YES!

Maria-sama ga Miteru (マリア様がみてる) – A show about a bunch of snobby girls who rule an all girls Catholic school with an iron fist and their unambiguous homosexual tendencies.

/me drools a little

Huh? Wha? Other shows? Fuck no there’s no other shows next season. Nothing on my radar, at least. I’m going to watch this show raw and I’m going to blog it raw because I’m like Kuze and yuri… yuri… yuri… oh Maria-sama am I clever! Anyway, I will blog the shit out of this show, and Shirukii, honoring the age-old tradition of tandem Winter blogging, shall join me.

Also, yes, I totally lifted the first two paragraphs of this post directly from Lovely Kitsune.

You should know why.

LET’S GET A LITTLE SACHIKO X YUMI ACTION GOING HERE

LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI

LUNCH IN THE ROSE GARDEN?!?!?!!oneoneeleven

It’s been ages since I last blogged trainwreck yuri. How many ages, you ask? Too many (this doesn’t count, because any yuri involving Chikane is automatically excellent). And damn is it good to be back.

I’M REMINDED OF AGONY—SO WHERE’S THE SHELL-MATCHING?

This show isn’t necessarily bad, actually. I just need something to make fun of right now, and Hyakko is too obvious. Toradora! has already been served justice, of course. Now, I’ve not ready any other blogs’ posts on Mouryou no Hako, aside from taking one glancing blow of a look at some post that accused someone of accusing the show of sucking. In other words, I have no idea what the “community sentiment” is. CJ Blackwing told me to watch this and mellow_bunny told me to blog this. That’s all there is to it.

KANAKO BEAM

As for any “real” thoughts I have regarding this show, well. I really did laugh a little when I saw Kanako reading on their date (and immediately remembered Lovely Kitsune’s post, and immediately needed to follow mellow_bunny’s advice). I really was amused by our heroine’s reactions to things and her gradual spiral downward into the sea of oblivion insanity. On the other hand, the show did pique my curiosity: I’m interested to find out what the hell is up with the talking heads in boxes, and stuff. Looks like yuri subplot isn’t over yet because the ED is an endless ring of naked girls, so maybe it’s not actually a subplot.

halo thar, MY NAME IS MR. COCKBLOCK

On the other hand, I absolutely cannot bring myself to care about our heroine (or her fuck buddy). Neither displays any substantial character prior to existing as nothing but insane lesbians. Neither is especially sympathetic, nor is either unsympathetic enough for me to care. They’re just sorta there, dancing under the moonlight.

And I guess that’s okay. Just, not the makings of an awesome yuri.

Buuuut it looks like we’ll be seeing more of this detective guy, and it looks like he might be more of a main character ultimately than our moon-crossed crazies, so things might turn out alright. The show also has a chance to become fucking awesome. Check out this line of events:

1. our heroine cooperates with Detective’s investigation
2. Kanako’s servant/brother/whoever Mr. Cockblock is knows Kanako’s secrets
3. Mr. Cockblock, in order to protect Kanako’s honor, kills our heroine
4. Mr. Cockblock and Detective have hot buttsex

PLEASE BE GENTLE—T-TOO ROUGH!!

The many faces of Kusumoto.

I CAME A LITTLE, THEN I REMEMBERED YAMI TO BOUSHI TO HON NO TABIBITO. I CAME AGAIN.

HERDING LILIES IS DANGEROUS WORK, BUT ONE LILY FOLLOWS ANOTHER LILY

Would I recommend this show to the casual viewer? Too early to tell. The possibilities seem endless. This could be a really interesting detective story or a really bad story about unrequited love, suicide, paranoia, and rebirth as your lover (again, Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito parallels). There are other directions it could go, too. /me shrugs

I’ll have fun blogging this until I stop having fun with it, I suppose.

Any other shows I should be blogging regularly? Let me know in the comments.

The first third of Iriya is far superior to the first third of Saikano

Karmaburn’s latest post deftly dodges the truth of “would you like to lick them?” in order to jump on the convenient “Saikano is emo fail” bandwagon. While Saikano is far from perfect in the eyes of those not ready to abandon themselves to its emotional Amusement Park, we must keep in mind that Iriya no Sora was dictionary-definition trash. It had two good scenes (maybe three if you still care about the show at the end). Rather, I might call it the Strawberry Panic to Saikano’s Maria-sama ga Miteru.

A: “O Fortuna” plays as Krauser II prepares to go mouth-to-mouth with a dick.