If you’re a regular around here, and were before I “stopped being an anime blogger” (thanks, Scamp!), you’ll know I’m one of the few who talks about Aria a lot. But more likely, you’ve seen the name a few times, know the premise of the show, and little else.

I mean… in all honesty, there’s little else to Aria, save the experience of watching it. It’s slice of life at its most distilled consistency, meaning that outside the premise there’s very little to be said about its contents. They just kind of happen.

But wait—there’s probably one other thing you know about Aria. And that is that its titular character is an ugly, fat, noisy cat who does hideous semi-anthropomorphized dances and shakes his x-shaped bootyhole all over the place while shrieking noises formerly only ever heard in bad Kyoto Animation Key adaptation anime: “puinyuu,” &c..

Don’t get me wrong. I love President Aria to death.

But I didn’t use to.

And that’s actually a trend I’ve seen amongst lovers of Aria. Initially, they’ll say “it’s good, even though Aria (the cat) is horrendous.” Eventually they’ll be oohing and aahing at the sight of the lovable white blob. Did I just say blob?

Let me introduce another concept: moeblob.

You know the kind… the weaker of the two Hiiragi sisters from Lucky Star, Ayu from Kanon, Hideaki Anno, etc.

And you know them from K-on!: Yui, Mio, Azusa…

They make retarded noises, their maturity is about at the level of a sea urchin’s, they can’t perform basic problem solving, their presence alone makes you want to huggle them, and so on.

So what happened to Aria (the cat) as Aria (the show) progressed?

The blob became less of a blob and more of a, let’s say, friend. After fifty-three episodes and an OVA, he’s kinda just there, and we’re used to him, and we’re maybe even kind of interested in his struggles and tribulations. He operates much like the rest of Aria’s cast, albeit he starts out at a worse place. Would we care about the climax of the show if we hadn’t been watching Akari for fifty episodes? Would we care about Aria (the cat) if we hadn’t been watching him for fifty episodes?

There’s a saying: “I used to hate mushrooms; then they grew on me.”

Gross, but fitting.

Aria (the cat) is a mushroom.

The moeblobs of K-on! are mushrooms.

I’ll admit it was hard for me to get past the first few episodes of stupidity and retardation, but I forced myself to sit through it. Every episode it became more bearable. This isn’t just a case of the senses being dulled: I became more invested in the characters’, well, characters; in their daily lives and encounters and attempts and failures. And by the time I got to the episode in which they’re all failing at their various Sundays in “A Winter Day,” I cared.

They’d grown on me.

Is it a fault of K-on! that its cast is a bunch of foetuses with head problems?

Probably.

Is it a fault of the viewer to dismiss the show at first brush due to said fault?

I wouldn’t say so, necessarily, though a scathing commenter such as Owen might unabashedly bash on the dismissive viewer.

But I would say it’s fairly rewarding to see a slice-of-life show through and really get in bed with the characters (I mean this in a nonsexual manner). I’m a few episodes into K-on!!, and I don’t know if it’s just better than the first season or if the phenomenon I’ve outlined in this post is simply working its wonders.

I’m having fun with those kagayake-ing girls and their growth.

[[ I felt the need to write this in defense of K-on! after declaiming against it quite vehemently to my friends less than a month ago. I felt that showing a similarity with Aria—my favorite show—would show my sincerity. I hope you all understand that I am not trolling. Cheers! ]]

Go check it out for great justice.

Well, that was maybe two months ago now. It’s about time I get that blog post out there.

Majime na Lolikit

Anime Characters Are Too Sexual In The Eyes Of Anime Characters,
or Why Unwarranted Jealousy Isn’t Cool Anymore

Aoi and Kaoru

Ai Yori Aoshi is a sweet story about two childhood friends, Kaoru and Aoi, realizing more mature emotions toward each other… for about three episodes. Then, in quick succession, the show introduces three female characters and has them all over the main character. The ground nuts on top of the whipped cream would be that our two lovers must keep their relationship secret for some unbelievably hackneyed reason, and thus any further female characters will see any kindness from Kaoru as an advance.

There’s some illogic there, and I’ll get to it in a moment, but first, let me explain the plot of Ai Yori Aoshi:

Kaoru and Aoi get together.

Let me repeat that:

Kaoru and Aoi get together.

“But lolikit, didn’t they do that in episodes one through three?” you might ask. And the answer is yes. But the world doesn’t know this and so they must spend twenty-three more episodes getting together. This means twenty-three episodes of enduring “romantic comedy” involving Kaoru and his haremettes, who aren’t really his haremettes because he’s already involved with Aoi and he’s not unfaithful (he loves her, and wants to be with her).

It raises the question: why?!

“But lolikit, a show where nothing happens can be wonderful too!” you might protest. And I’m the first one to defend a lack of plot or direction. Someone was bitching at me yesterday about how Mushishi was too repetitive, and had no overarching plot. I don’t actually know anything about Mushishi other than its alleged awesomeness, but I defended it, saying that my favorite shows have nothing happen in them, so how could a bit of repetition or lack of plot be that bad? The problem is that in Ai Yori Aoshi, there isn’t “nothing happening.” Sure, it’s slice of life and laid back, but the show is pushing harem moments into our faces one after another.

And you know what?

Both “OMG LOVE TRIANGLE OMG,” and the classic question of “who will he pick,” are both invalidated by the knowledge that he’s going to be with Aoi. This isn’t Shuffle, where Rin can unexpectedly pick Asa. This is Suzuka, and Yamato is going to pick Suzuka.

First parallel with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: we know the characters are going to be together, and we know this from the beginning.

Haruka and Yuuto are as “together” after two episodes of Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu as Kenji and Nanami are at the beginning of Lamune.

Now, going back to Ai Yori Aoshi, I’d like to point out another trend. Despite having some vestige of confidence and self-esteem, our beloved female lead occasionally show signs of jealousy. Why? Does she not see that her dear Kaoru-sama is completely devoted to her? Well, she does—but her womanly intuition (you know, that thing anime characters love citing and using as an excuse for equating women to dumb animals incapable of analysis) tells her that the women surrounding her man are a threat to their relationship.

The Enemy

Q: Why are they a threat?
A: Because they’re making advances on Kaoru.

Q: Why are they making advances on Kaoru?

A: Because they think he’s totally hot for them.

Q: Why do they think he’s totally hot for them?
A: Because he’s nice to them (illogic, again, I’ll get to this later).

Second parallel with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: the female lead worries unnecessarily about her relationship with the male lead when female characters with “no chance” (because the end couple is predetermined) enter the picture.

We see this with the Shiina in the second half of the show, many times.

Now I think is a fitting time to address the “illogic” I mentioned earlier. Take a look at this stereotypical line of events, common in trashy anime:

1. boy meets girl
2. boy, being a kind person, is nice to girl
3. girl thinks boy is being especially kind to her
4. girl falls for boy
5. boy wants nothing to do with girl
6. girl’s heart is broken

Suzumiya Akane

Well, you can see this formula in lots of places, I suppose. You can see it in Kimi ga Nozomu Eien, even—Suzumiya Haruka’s little sister Akane is attracted to Takayuki because he is “too kind to her.” The formula alone doesn’t make something trashy, and I guess a lot of that is in the execution. I’d say that in the majority of cases, though, the formula is a one-way ticket to lametasticity. And we see it in Ai Yori Aoshi. And we see it in Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu.

We don’t see it too often in shoujo anime (more often, the guy is a jerk and the girl falls for him—hey, sounds like real life!) and we don’t see it too often in real life (examine: the last parenthetical comment).

The main problem with the formula, as I see it, is that it doesn’t make sense. We’re not talking spending thousands of dollars and years of time for the girl—we’re talking something simple. Lending an umbrella. Working together on schoolwork. Watching out for a fellow human being. Girls: you’ve interacted with humans before, I imagine. Tell me: head over heels for everyone who’s shown you courtesy? Wet panties for the random guy who shares his textbook with you?

I must confess to the misguided sin of not being born female, but even I with my limited knowledge of the opposite sex presume to know the answer to some fundamental questions such as the two above: no.

Sexuality doesn’t work that way.

And because sexuality doesn’t work that way, I consider my intelligence insulted every time an anime insinuates that a heterosexual man cannot have a girlfriend and girl friends without eliciting jealousy from his girlfriend. We saw this in Suzuka with Yamato getting shit from his miko girlfriend (AND from Suzuka) for being nice to Suzuka. (This is an ambiguously bad example because one could dispute that the miko girlfriend was right and that he was crushing on Suzuka, but that most certainly was not his intention and he was never unfaithful.)

Let me give a couple examples of rare anime where “my boyfriend/love interest is a heterosexual male, he must be interested in cheating on me with his large collection of female friends” illogic is not present:

1. Lamune
2. To Heart

this is hilarious, in a number of ways

Both of these shows have large female casts, no more or less attractive than any other lineup of female anime characters, and a male character who is very friendly and close with many of these characters. The female leads are no more egotistical than those of Ai Yori Aoshi or Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu; they do not possess godly self-esteem. Yet they do not falter and they do not question, and that is well because their love interests, like most reasonable human beings, are not about to have relations with any girl they come across.

This characteristic holds for Kaoru and Yuuto, by the way. And yet…

Anyway, the sexuality of anime characters in the eyes of other characters is ludicrous in general. We see the attitude even in such blockbuster hits as Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu: in episode two, we are told by Kyon that Haruhi begins changing before the boys leave the room; she must view them as potatoes, and he says this with an air of distaste—this behavior is odd, unnatural, and for the sole reason that it reflects poorly on her sexuality.

Issues of hetero-/homosexuality aside, I feel like this statement in Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu is particularly ill-thought out.

The first problem with it is that the only good reason for changing in privacy is embarrassment. Embarrassment over how one looks. This should be independent of the potential viewer’s sexuality. If you don’t want someone staring at you while you’re changing, you don’t want someone staring at you while you’re changing. So really it’s more like Haruhi has no sense of shame (or that she has godly self-esteem, which I find unlikely given her behavior throughout the show and most especially her reaction to being thanked in episode 12).

The Ogre in question

The second problem with it is that “seeing men as potatoes” (and women, by the way—Kyon neglects to mention this, but I’ll point it out) is more likely part of Haruhi’s general disinterest in love. “Yeah, yeah,” you might say, “lolikit’s full of it. She’s thrilled when Kyon expresses interest in her.” But this is after being changed by what she experiences. At the show’s offset, she is “interested in a relationship with a time traveler, esper, etc.” but only because she’s interested in them period. Love isn’t her thing. And why?

Because she has a self-esteem issue. After being shown how pointless the individual is (remember her recollection of the ballgame) she has all but lost self-worth. She’s not a god or a bored human, “she’s a sixteen year old girl” (couldn’t help quoting Kannazuki no Miko here—I don’t know her age and I won’t be assed to look it up). She has her own existential quandary like so many angsty joshikousei, and it’s an obstacle in the way of caring one way or another about love and relationships. It’s not a matter of sexuality.

Man, I could go on harping about this one line of Haruhi for ages. But I could just as easily harp on any other example of characters taking each other’s sexuality too seriously. I’m sure there are at least one hundred per episode of Love Hina, and that’s only the face of an entire genre that is culpable of this behavior.

The main point here is: why so serious, Aoi? Why so serious, Haruka?

Your man is with you.

He’s not interested in the sluts throwing themselves at him, and neither are we.

So I ask you: why the unwarranted jealousy?

Miyamura Miyako, batshit

Oh, oh! Another awesome example: ef ~a tale of memories~ had this guy Hiro who loved this girl Miyako, but she went batshit because Hiro had a female childhood friend to whom he was friendly and supportive. Why the bitchiness, Miyako? Why the unwarranted jealousy? Your man is with you. (Another ambiguously bad example because Kei really did want Hiro inside her, but only ambiguously bad because Hiro clearly didn’t want in.)

I could present dozens more examples, but I think my point is made. This is my problem with Ai Yori Aoshi, and this is my problem with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. This is my problem with a ton of romance shows. And that’s not to say that I have an inherent problem with romantic comedy. So long as it doesn’t make pretenses, and decides whether or not it’s harem/love polygon/etc., and sticks to that decision, I can forgive it its idiocy (for instance, I love Love Hina).

And finally, a good word in for Ai Yori Aoshi and Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: awwwwwwwwww the couples are so sweeeeeeeeet. (Thanks, Bawwwka-Raptor!)

Epilogue: If you didn’t know that Haruka and Yuuto were going to end up together, you haven’t seen a whole lot of anime. And in that case, I recommend the show to you. Take it as an opportunity to learn.

“My darkest secret is that my show was trash!”

Majime na Lolikit
How Aria Ruined Subtext, or Why Yuri Isn’t Funny Anymore

In early 2005, I finished watching AIR. At the time, I was active on the AnimeSuki.com forums (handle: Broken), and was active in discussing the episodes as they were aired and fansubbed. In the AIR episode 12 thread, someone linked to lovelykitsune.com‘s special feature. LK had written Misuzu’s final diary entry for her. I laughed my ass off and proceeded to read through the rest of his archives. I gobbled up his Maria-sama ga Miteru reviews like candy. It was, as he himself put it, a writer’s gold mine.

Amazed at how humorous this Maria-sama show appeared to be, I downloaded it (along with Negima and Kanon, some of the first anime I consumed after my introduction to the medium via Naruto) and watched it.

I laughed at the subtext and the ridiculous premise (it’s a lesbian Catholic school lolol) but the show simply wasn’t as funny as Lovely Kitsune had portrayed it. Saddened, I groped for a new angle from which to enjoy it, and eventually I found it: I could amuse myself by looking too far into possible subtext and then laughing at how gay everyone was (it’s a lesbian Catholic school lolol). It wasn’t that I was homophobic (those were turbulent times, and I was seriously considering the possibility that I myself was gay—actually, I still don’t have an answer O_o), but the overabundance of this otherness was more than enough to make me chuckle.

After reading Pretty Face (“Become my onee-sama #2!”) and watching such blockbusters as Mai-HiME (ShizNat) and Kannazuki no Miko (best confession scene ever), I found that I liked this ‘shoujo ai’ business quite a bit. They were so cute, and in a lot of cases they were facing adversity in order to stay true to themselves and their hearts.

A lot of the lulz went away, but the yuri goggles remained.

(What am I talking about? The lulz was as strong as ever. I lurked the shoujoai.com forums for a while and witnessed the first ever declaration of YFR—the hilarious forum interchange that led to me creating kyousora.com and infecting the minds of several other anibloggers.)

Eventually I came upon Strawberry Panic. It made me laugh at the yuri because it was laughable. I blame this entirely upon premise and script. Oh, and the over-dramatization of everything. Around the same time, I was just a fledgling aniblogger. I discovered danbooru. I discovered various other things… like Shoujo Sect… long and short of it is that I came to this revelation: yuri is hot!!

Subtext became even more awesome as I tread into the world of AWESOME Nanoha.

Desires were fulfilled as Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora ended.

And after some time, I saw Aria.

You say good things sometimes, Alice!

Aria’s an odd cookie. Almost entirely female cast, lots of deep caring and emotion, and yet not once—not once did I find a hint of girls’ love, subtextual or otherwise. I found sisterly doting, I found friendship, I found admiration.

Please direct your attention, for a moment, toward this post of Erica Friedman’s: Yuri Anime: Aria OAV Arietta (Thanks to icystorm over at Miminum Tempo for the heads’ up.)

I’ve never been a huge fan of Friedman’s. I know she’s done some great work, etc., but one day I stumbled across some Noir review of hers and it made me cringe. Noir wasn’t yuri as far as I could tell. I recall thinking to myself—is friendship such an impossible thing?

This is, for the record, the same reaction several of my classmates had in Bible as Literature when my teacher presented unto them the theory that David and Jonathan were “romantic friends.” So maybe I just had a preconception of Noir since I’d seen it before and might find the romance between Kirika and Mireille if I were to go into the show with Friedman’s review in mind… but there’s still a distinction, I feel, even between:

- romantic friendship

and

- sexuality

I can’t really imagine David and Jonathan going for that hawt hawt butthsekcz. They definitely did seem like more than (contemporary definition of) friends to me, though. The characters in Noir share an incredibly powerful bond; does that mean that they are a yuri couple? I don’t recall any indications that the two of them felt ANY attraction toward each other, physical or mental or otherwise. I was under the impression that they were brought together by the past, or fate, or something dumb like that, and that perhaps the “odd bedfellows” saying applies.

But a yuri couple?

And I say that same thing to Aria, only a million times over.

Creating something, together—possibly the height of human existence.

When I first watched Aria episode two or whichever, the one where Akari sleeps over in Aika’s room, I probably thought something like, “oooo yuri action oh yeah.” I guarantee that by the time I finished season one, such vulgar thoughts had been completely dispelled. When I say vulgar, I am not incriminating yuri—I am incriminating subtext. Sure, it’s there, and I’m sure people can find it (after all, Erica Friedman did!), but what does it add, other than cheap giggles? If it’s not solid, if it’s not canon, it’s only speculation.

Speculation is something that you get fans to do when you try to entice them with fluff (see: Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu). Did Kozue Amano want use to try to figure out which of the Aria girls were getting off on which others’ fingers? For some reason, I doubt it. Did Mag Garden? Please. It’s there, but only if you’ve trained yourself to find it anywhere can you find it in Aria. Subtext can literally be found in everything if you’re well enough trained.

It’s like over-analyzing things.

I’m not trying to be a deconstructionist, I’m just trying to rationalize—what benefit does Aria gain from lesbianism? I found it quite reassuringly non-retarded that the work just about never touched on sexuality (we know Akatsuki is crushing on Akari and that Aika and Harry Potter get together, but even that doesn’t tell us that much) because, from my point of view, sexuality is a fairly boring topic (though this does not mean that I intentionally ignore it). It’s much more interesting for me to focus on the scenery or the messages or the character drama than the possibilities of who’s attracted to whom. Yes, believe it or not, you can have character drama without romance! Alicia and Akari’s tearful hug in Origination 13 was not the culmination of their lust and sexual tension.

gomenasi, for everything gomenasai

Before you say “but it could be!” let me point you to a very similar scene, both in direction and character action: AIR episode 6; Tohno Minagi returns to her mother’s home and the two share a tearful embrace.

The writer(s) behind AIR had serious mom issues, methinks—there’s a bit of a trend here.

(I refuse to believe that Minagi was hot for her mom. If you think that this is a bad comparison becaue she was hot for her mom, please explain to me why and how she is hot for her mom.)

And because there is nothing explicitly stated in Aria, and because I see no sexuality implied in it, I don’t find any lesbians. Whether the characters ARE gay, or straight, or bi, or what have you, is a pointless question: none of the characters are in yuri relationships. You can spend a lifetime speculating about sexuality if you have no solid cues.

The idea of Aria porn makes me uneasy.

The show is too pure for that. Too innocent. Too much about living a certain way. Not at all about whom to do or why.

Similarly, the idea of pairing Aria characters and doing anything in the vein of fanporn unsettles me, be it fanfic or fanart or so much as discussing one’s support for a coupling. Much as Neo-Venezia is a world beyond disease and homicide, it is a world beyond sex. Such thoughts simply don’t exist in Aria. There was never anything about dating or societal pressures to fulfill gender roles and get into certain relationships or making babies or not making babies or defying a conservative society or taking advantage of a liberal one. None of these topics are touched upon, thus furthering the detachment from sexuality.

And with all the unbridled potential for yuri (a full cast of females at the extremes of hot or cute in terms of both appearance and personality), combined with this total absence of sexuality, I have completely lost my drive to examine subtext or find lesbians in anime.

I don’t see the point anymore.

Why seek cheap laughs or pursue fetishes when something so perfect, so pure, so devoid of questions exists? Aria is the end-all be-all of my anime experience, and it has vanquished my love for yuri. It has vanquished my love for giggling childishly at possibilities.

Aria killed subtext.

And one last note, in case any staunch Aria yuri fans are reading this:

If Akari and Alicia were in a lesbian relationship, would Alicia have left to go get married to some other person? Alicia is mature. She doesn’t need to graduate schoolgirl lesbianism.

She may have her reasons for what she’s doing (actually, it’s pretty likely) but wow, what a fucking asshole. Dorito-kun should slap her back to her hospital room. Also, brother complex is kind of foul.

As for Matsuri… running away in order to get the protagonist to come after you is pretty bitchy, too. And pansy. And such. But she’s still better than Aono. ’cause she at least pretends she’s doing what she’s doing for other people.

When Aono’s eyes faded to a flat gradient, I thought to myself,
“YES YES YES DO IT DO IT DO IT”

And then Dorito-kun wtfstabbed Matsuri, and I thought to myself,
“WTFSTAB WTFSTAB WTFSTAB”

The show is still pretty, though this episode demonstrated the first major flaw apparent in character animation—the thumbs in the scene where Aono hands the photos back to Dorito-kun. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. At this point, the show’s major shortcomings include and are mainly limited to one thing: it’s too fuckin’ Japanese.