I’m back for more of the same, with an extra helping of poop.

Star Driver (2010-10-03) Series

Description

On a cross-shaped island in the South, a mysterious and gigantic humanoid robot known as the "Cybuddy" is discovered sealed in the underground ruins for untold ages. A group known as the "Order of the Glittering Star Cross" attempts to remove the seal by abducting a girl named Wako Agemaki, who they dubbed the "shrine maiden" and is the key to activating the robot. A boy named Takuto Tsunashi arrives with his own Cybuddy named Tauburn to rescue Wako. Thus begins a struggle to unlock the secrets of the advanced technology and prevent disaster.

Episodes: 25
Status: airing
Time: Sun 17:00+JST
Duration: 24m

Links: Official Official ANN

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I didn’t need to invent a witty nickname for this one; the show conveniently provided me with one. I wish I could say I was joking. The premise is… well, we don’t quite know what the premise is. What we do know? Shit makes shit for sense. Ridiculousness sprouts eternal. It’s almost so incredibly idiotic that I can’t help but love it.

I’m going to treat this like a Mai-HiME: a show that takes horse excrement and turns it upside down. Some kind soul will pat it on the back and say, “good job, you did something original!” The more observant viewer will shake his head and say, “it’s still shit.”

And I, too blinded by the shininess to be observant and too #AnimeHipster to be kind, will simply put on my shitty grin and nod along with the gratuitous mecha cock rings, the blatant Isekai rip-offs, the Markovian invasion fleet of sparkles, the utter failures at characterizing humans, and the general Jasonian train wreck of it all. What? I’m being gentle here. Ginga Bishounen’s polarizing! Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, lolikit’s just gonna piss all over everything.

Excuse me.

Toilet humor seemed most appropriate when dealing with fecal matter.

Otome Yokai Zakuro (2010-10-04) Series

Description

In an alternate history of the Meiji era where humans and magical beings known as "younin" live side by side, half-younin girls team up with army lieutenants to fight younin wrongdoers.

Status: airing
Time: Mon 25:30+JST
Episodes: 13
Duration: 24m

Links: Official ANN

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Er… let’s see what Melative says my first reaction to this show was.

2.5+1=3.5

I saw nothing redeeming in those 3.5 minutes. Quite the opposite: I saw a lot of fail. I’m willing to try again if someone convinces me. Hah! “I’ll be convinced if I can be convinced.” Tautology strikes again.

Super Robot Taisen OG: The Inspector (2010-10-01) Series

Episodes: 26
Status: airing
Time: Fri 25:00+JST
Duration: 25m

Links: Official ANN

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There simply wasn’t anything here for me. I can deal with mecha when there’s an interesting plot hook, when there are cool characters, or when it looks pretty, but when none of those conditions is met, I have to say the prospects are grim.

Can I just say that mecha flagship and fan favorite Kannazuki no Miko victorizes on all fronts? ;)

Sora no Otoshimono 2 (2010-10-01) Fall Series

Genre: comedy, fantasy, romance
Theme: ecchi
Episodes: 12
Status: airing
Time: Fri 25:00+JST
Duration: 24m

Links: Official ANN

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…

… female raindrops.

…

… with humongous tits.

Funny story: I downloaded this episode three times. I deleted it three times. I managed to force myself to sit through it about a total of one time, though it took many tries. I kept second-guessing myself: maybe I did want to sit through another twelve episodes of heaven’s big-breasted dump! Maybe.

Bowel movements dominate the day’s discussion, however, as I was ultimately unable to justify the watching of this. Episode 1 has finally been deleted that third time, never to be downloaded again.

Good riddance.

P.S.

(Has anyone mentioned how weird it is that I’m blogging anime?)

Lolikit. LK-niisan. Where did you fall so hard? What happened to the trolling? What happened to the violence, the hate, the rage? How is it, that these many years on, I am the sole surviving LK that legitimately dislikes Lucky Star, K-ON, all of it? You had to have known. You had to have suspected. Your irony will only carry you so far, LK-niisan.

I still rage. I still protest. I still leave in rage when my anime club at school puts on Lucky Star. (No, seriously, guys. They made me sit through the first episode. It was SO BAD. What the fuck do you see in this show!? Other than Shiraishi Minoru. Minoru-sama is still god.) I still make obscene jokes about YFR and CJ. I still bitch about Jason fucking Miao. I still fuck up my tags. Nothing will change, in my soul. Call me a dinosaur if you will! A relicant! A fossil of a by-gone era of trolling! But I will hold out. I will make my random unpredictable violent posts that no one gives a shit about. I will keep following the twitters of a dozen anibloggers whose blogs I don’t read. I will keep hating on what I signed on to hate, back in 2005.

I’m not giving up. Never will my hate fade. K-ON is nothing but fucking moeblobs doing what moeblobs do worst: aspire to quality.

So fuck. That. Shit.

.lolikappa

If you’re a regular around here, and were before I “stopped being an anime blogger” (thanks, Scamp!), you’ll know I’m one of the few who talks about Aria a lot. But more likely, you’ve seen the name a few times, know the premise of the show, and little else.

I mean… in all honesty, there’s little else to Aria, save the experience of watching it. It’s slice of life at its most distilled consistency, meaning that outside the premise there’s very little to be said about its contents. They just kind of happen.

But wait—there’s probably one other thing you know about Aria. And that is that its titular character is an ugly, fat, noisy cat who does hideous semi-anthropomorphized dances and shakes his x-shaped bootyhole all over the place while shrieking noises formerly only ever heard in bad Kyoto Animation Key adaptation anime: “puinyuu,” &c..

Don’t get me wrong. I love President Aria to death.

But I didn’t use to.

And that’s actually a trend I’ve seen amongst lovers of Aria. Initially, they’ll say “it’s good, even though Aria (the cat) is horrendous.” Eventually they’ll be oohing and aahing at the sight of the lovable white blob. Did I just say blob?

Let me introduce another concept: moeblob.

You know the kind… the weaker of the two Hiiragi sisters from Lucky Star, Ayu from Kanon, Hideaki Anno, etc.

And you know them from K-on!: Yui, Mio, Azusa…

They make retarded noises, their maturity is about at the level of a sea urchin’s, they can’t perform basic problem solving, their presence alone makes you want to huggle them, and so on.

So what happened to Aria (the cat) as Aria (the show) progressed?

The blob became less of a blob and more of a, let’s say, friend. After fifty-three episodes and an OVA, he’s kinda just there, and we’re used to him, and we’re maybe even kind of interested in his struggles and tribulations. He operates much like the rest of Aria’s cast, albeit he starts out at a worse place. Would we care about the climax of the show if we hadn’t been watching Akari for fifty episodes? Would we care about Aria (the cat) if we hadn’t been watching him for fifty episodes?

There’s a saying: “I used to hate mushrooms; then they grew on me.”

Gross, but fitting.

Aria (the cat) is a mushroom.

The moeblobs of K-on! are mushrooms.

I’ll admit it was hard for me to get past the first few episodes of stupidity and retardation, but I forced myself to sit through it. Every episode it became more bearable. This isn’t just a case of the senses being dulled: I became more invested in the characters’, well, characters; in their daily lives and encounters and attempts and failures. And by the time I got to the episode in which they’re all failing at their various Sundays in “A Winter Day,” I cared.

They’d grown on me.

Is it a fault of K-on! that its cast is a bunch of foetuses with head problems?

Probably.

Is it a fault of the viewer to dismiss the show at first brush due to said fault?

I wouldn’t say so, necessarily, though a scathing commenter such as Owen might unabashedly bash on the dismissive viewer.

But I would say it’s fairly rewarding to see a slice-of-life show through and really get in bed with the characters (I mean this in a nonsexual manner). I’m a few episodes into K-on!!, and I don’t know if it’s just better than the first season or if the phenomenon I’ve outlined in this post is simply working its wonders.

I’m having fun with those kagayake-ing girls and their growth.

[[ I felt the need to write this in defense of K-on! after declaiming against it quite vehemently to my friends less than a month ago. I felt that showing a similarity with Aria—my favorite show—would show my sincerity. I hope you all understand that I am not trolling. Cheers! ]]

I like flames.

These guys are the Queen’s bollocks. I love them. They write run-on sentences and don’t afraid of anything. They compare themselves to volcanoes—you know who else did that? Kamina. Eat your heart out, TTGL fans.

Anyway, the mission is clear: these pleasant individuals wish to stamp out the “incorrect” usage of the term “otaku” in the EL aniblogosphere by publicly shaming bad animebloggers who “incorrectly” dub themselves “otaku.” A noble goal. I love crusaders, and the conviction and vitriol these guys pack remind me of my days spent raging against Lucky Star. Go get’em, anonytaigas! Pounce on those shitty Danny Choo-wannabes, pin’em down, rape the daylights out of them, and then pull back, in full ape form, beat your chests and scream “EEEEEEEEELIMINATED!!”

According to a site search, this is my first post containing the word “otaku,” disregarding a link to a post of digitalboy’s (digi’s post had the term “otaku” in its name). As such, I doubt I will come under fire personally, though it would no doubt be fun to. And I don’t say this in the “omg I’m so cute, I call myself a masochist” way in which countless losers begged to be on the OEG list. I say this because this shit is fun, pure, unadulterated barrel of monkeys.

Three hints and suggestions for the OEG folks:

- don’t force the cordiality. Be as angry as you like, by all means.
- review every EL aniblog. You can’t say shit like “digitalboy isn’t notable enough.” Be thorough. Really get into the bones of this. Don’t fuck this up.
- work faster. Do you really need a whole week for four disses? C’mon, chop chop.

And yes, I am only writing this post because one of the OEG dudes nodded my way in their latest blogation. But who the fuck cares? That’s how the ‘sphere has always worked, from before the fall of (the original) Blogsuki. Circle jerks and all that. Yeehaw.

What is this bullshit?!

Kyoto Animation has almost as many posts as the rest of the top 10 list combined. (It’s six short, to be exact.) It’s not a majority, but it’s a disgustingly large plurality, and it. is. not. right.

Comrades, I urge you to fight the power by blogging about good shows for the next week.

Does he not know? I’ve been waging this war on my own for years.

Here you can see DS’s original post, annotated by yours truly.

FUCK REVOLUTIONS, I WANT TO LIVE

DS says some big things, and he’s pretty vehement, but personally, I’m not entirely convinced. This is a new stance, and he has just about no experience dealing with bad anime (maybe he can see Haruhi’s shores from his back porch). I, as someone with a long history of battling anime, would prefer it if someone with more dedication were to take command.

I’m not going to say that I am most fit for this role—I know there are haters greater than I—but I would expect someone with at least half as many credentials to step up to the plate (as opposed to someone with none). Without further ado, I present unto you my credentials:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

While Exhibit B is an example of my level-headed approach toward serious topics, it is still a commentary on how fucking bad some shitty anime can be. Read it at least three times—it’s deep.

Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E
Exhibit F
Exhibit G
Exhibit H
Exhibit I

Sometimes, as exhibited by Exhibit I, I can be an concise anime hater.

Exhibit J
Exhibit K
Exhibit L
Exhibit M
Exhibit N
Exhibit O

In before “fuck anime, I want to live”—Exhibit O is srs fkn bsns, and if you take it lightly then you are just one more growth stemming from the cancer that is killing the aniblogosphere and giving a bad name to anime fans everywhere.

Exhibit P
Exhibit Q

Yes, Exhibit Q was, in fact, trolling on my part. Up yours, Owen.

Exhibit R

I stand by Exhibit R to this day.

Exhibit S
Exhibit T

Exhibit T is easily the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

Exhibit U
Exhibit V
Exhibit X
Exhibit Y
Exhibit Z

DS isn’t Kamina, but that’s no reason not to keep rowing. Bad anime is the power and your hatred is a hatred that will—argh, you get the picture.

A: “O Fortuna” plays as Krauser II prepares to go mouth-to-mouth with a dick.

There was no Motteke! Serafuku. Plain and simple.

Oh, also this was lulz.

Cheers!

This was two days ago, now, and there’s no way I’m going to reread that post, so I unfortunately cannot tell you why I picked what I did. I like to think I tended to polarize at the two ends of the fail spectrum (you know, fail, and less fail) and went with shows I thought I’d either like or hate, but no guarantees. The “resource” wasn’t too resourceful and I ended up making some wild guesses. Anyway, expect at least one post each on all of these shows, and expect at least half of those to be scathing:

ChäoS;HEAd
ef – a tale of melodies
Akane Iro ni Somaru Saka
Kurogane no Linebarrel
Toradora!
Skip Beat
Shikabane Hime: Aka
Clannad ~After Story~
Michiko to Hatchin
Kannagi
Tales of the Abyss

With any luck I’ll be blogging regularly this fall. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be. Other than, you know, having a job (or two, or three). And maybe trying my hand at NaNoWriMo. Anyway, there should be some free time in there which I can dedicate to bashing shit.

In less well news, I’m down a weapon from my arsenal.

… graphs.

And why am I down graphs?

Because fucking Steve fucking Jobs and fucking Apple fucking broke fucking Photoshop fucking 7 in fucking Leopard.

Thankfully, Google, in classic Athena-senpai style, is still pretending to be an ally of mine:

I shall learn this Google Charts thing, and I shall use it well.