Anyway. Back to the season at hand.

I am now going to prove that nothing currently airing is good. Don’t expect screenshots, I’m too lazy even to steal pics from RandomC.

1. Queen’s Blade Season 2: Hirano Aya’s character has been marginalized. I haven’t heard nearly enough of her voice this season. Every time I finish an episode of this trash, I go back and marathon the entirety of Kiddy Grade for want of her voice.

2. Seiken no Blacksmith: Ignoring that knights must be chivalrous and not moe, the message of Blackshit thus far seems to have been that girls are sad if you don’t buy them useless kit. Buy a candle and stick it on their heads, though, and you’re golden. You’re even a good guy, who cares about the girl! But if you don’t buy shitty accessories, you’re a bad guy. Thrifty? No, you’re evil, and you need to be corrected.

3. Fairy Tail: This show is louder than Seto no Hanayome, and it doesn’t make up for it with mermaid gangsters. Loud is bad.

4. Sasameki Koto: Should be “Stammered Things” instead of “Whispered Things.” This manga didn’t translate well into anime form; Sumi is a humongous pansy who’s more painful to watch than the typical weak male harem lead, and her crush has no redeeming values whatsoever. Take something great and destroy it.

5. Book of Bantorra: Xam’d ripoff. Inferior Xam’d ripoff.

6. Winter Sonata: the main guy looks exactly like my gf’s ex, and that pisses me off. If an anime pisses me off, it’s bad, unless it’s Bokurano, in which case it’s somehow good even if it’s angering (thanks, Owen!).

7. Sora no Otoshimono: Chobits was hotter. If Tomoki doesn’t start fingering Ikaros soon I’m going to throw my shoe at my monitor. This show also suffers from Kanokon/To-Love-ru Syndrome: too much sexual tension, not enough sex.

8. Kanokon OVA: see above.

9. To-love-ru OVA: see above.

10. Kampfer: see above.

11. Nyan-koi: Not enough catfish. Pass.

12. Darker than Black 2: I have a skit for this piece of shit.

Suou: FATE-CHAN! TANYA!
Tanya: … *scowl*
Suou: Fate-chan Tanya, stop this!
Tanya: … why?
Suou: It’s me, Nanoha Suou! Remember me?
Tanya: Die.
Suou: Listen to me! I just want to be friends…
Tanya: BARDICHE! BUGS!
Suou: *transformation sequence* STARLIGHT BREAKER! HUGE FUCKING GUN! *humongous explosions*

Hopefully this has been illuminating and informative for all.

13. Kiddy girlAND: Not enough Hirano Aya. ;(

14. Aoi Bungaku: that piece of shit ghostlightning enjoys this show. He also like Bakemonogatari. You can see a trend, here.

Anything else airing? I’ll take it down a few rungs. C’mon. Bring it.

15. A Certain Scientific Railgun: not enough Railgun, way too much loud, annoying lolis (Uihara, the teleporting bitch, etc.). Also, promotes bad things, in particular, blanket video surveillance. Earns the “most evil” mark of the season, second being Seiken no Blacksmith with its consumerist messages.

16. Kimi ni Todoke: traumatizing memories of the KimiKiss opening.

The changes are in progress. Ultimately Churuya will be wiped off the face of the blog (as one reader astutely observed, I hate Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu) and replaced with a single bland color (or I might just steal Jason’s background). Everything will be slimming down. Everything will be fabulous.

Until the changes are complete, I can only comment on the work done so far.

First: I tried to imitate some of Jason’s more idiotic web design cues. Note that the front page has like, a million instances of text-transform:uppercase and text-transform:lowercase.

Second: I worked Jasonisms in all over the place. All I’m missing are “oh geass no” and “emo facial distortion.” Seriously, it’s all there. YTAMR, meido, moe modes, broken, etc. (Look in the source for more lulz and references.) Hell, I even used Jasonisms that don’t exist yet! By gauging the shows Jason enjoys and deploying quotes from them, I have in effect preemptively meowed!

Third: um, I’m all out. BUT! I’m being trendy, and I’ve got a DMC tribute in the footer! I also have like, over nine thousand dumb otaku references strewn throughout the layout, ranging from my description of IcyStorm (Pretty Face) to my archives hook (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann).

Fourth: Ari—wait, Jason probably doesn’t even know what Aria is. FUCK!

Fifth: gotta love how I have a “blogroll” but it only lists a select few! That’s Jason-style elitism for you!