I’m going to show my spite for the whores over at Kyoto Animation and vote against everyone today. Well. That was another easy decision!

Next, people have been accusing me of not being an anime blogger. I can’t accept that. So here goes. Time to blog some animu!

Ookamikakushi vs. Kanokon: an objective analysis

Point 1: male lead is a total pansy
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 2: male lead smells hella good
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 3: male lead is voiced by a girl
O: probably.
K: yes.
Result: K+1.

Point 4: male lead is wanted by many girls
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 5: male lead is wanted by many guys
O: yes.
K: probably.
Result: O+1.

Point 6: male lead smells so fucking good
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 7: wolves!
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 8: male lead smells so good everyone wants to shag him
O: yes.
K: yes.
Result: tie.

Point 9: how does the series attract its viewers?
O: ‘suspense,’ murder, etc.
K: boobs.
Result: K+1.

Final Score
O: 1, K: 2

Kanokon wins by virtue of its fanservice. Hurrah!

Anyway. Back to the season at hand.

I am now going to prove that nothing currently airing is good. Don’t expect screenshots, I’m too lazy even to steal pics from RandomC.

1. Queen’s Blade Season 2: Hirano Aya’s character has been marginalized. I haven’t heard nearly enough of her voice this season. Every time I finish an episode of this trash, I go back and marathon the entirety of Kiddy Grade for want of her voice.

2. Seiken no Blacksmith: Ignoring that knights must be chivalrous and not moe, the message of Blackshit thus far seems to have been that girls are sad if you don’t buy them useless kit. Buy a candle and stick it on their heads, though, and you’re golden. You’re even a good guy, who cares about the girl! But if you don’t buy shitty accessories, you’re a bad guy. Thrifty? No, you’re evil, and you need to be corrected.

3. Fairy Tail: This show is louder than Seto no Hanayome, and it doesn’t make up for it with mermaid gangsters. Loud is bad.

4. Sasameki Koto: Should be “Stammered Things” instead of “Whispered Things.” This manga didn’t translate well into anime form; Sumi is a humongous pansy who’s more painful to watch than the typical weak male harem lead, and her crush has no redeeming values whatsoever. Take something great and destroy it.

5. Book of Bantorra: Xam’d ripoff. Inferior Xam’d ripoff.

6. Winter Sonata: the main guy looks exactly like my gf’s ex, and that pisses me off. If an anime pisses me off, it’s bad, unless it’s Bokurano, in which case it’s somehow good even if it’s angering (thanks, Owen!).

7. Sora no Otoshimono: Chobits was hotter. If Tomoki doesn’t start fingering Ikaros soon I’m going to throw my shoe at my monitor. This show also suffers from Kanokon/To-Love-ru Syndrome: too much sexual tension, not enough sex.

8. Kanokon OVA: see above.

9. To-love-ru OVA: see above.

10. Kampfer: see above.

11. Nyan-koi: Not enough catfish. Pass.

12. Darker than Black 2: I have a skit for this piece of shit.

Suou: FATE-CHAN! TANYA!
Tanya: … *scowl*
Suou: Fate-chan Tanya, stop this!
Tanya: … why?
Suou: It’s me, Nanoha Suou! Remember me?
Tanya: Die.
Suou: Listen to me! I just want to be friends…
Tanya: BARDICHE! BUGS!
Suou: *transformation sequence* STARLIGHT BREAKER! HUGE FUCKING GUN! *humongous explosions*

Hopefully this has been illuminating and informative for all.

13. Kiddy girlAND: Not enough Hirano Aya. ;(

14. Aoi Bungaku: that piece of shit ghostlightning enjoys this show. He also like Bakemonogatari. You can see a trend, here.

Anything else airing? I’ll take it down a few rungs. C’mon. Bring it.

15. A Certain Scientific Railgun: not enough Railgun, way too much loud, annoying lolis (Uihara, the teleporting bitch, etc.). Also, promotes bad things, in particular, blanket video surveillance. Earns the “most evil” mark of the season, second being Seiken no Blacksmith with its consumerist messages.

16. Kimi ni Todoke: traumatizing memories of the KimiKiss opening.

Transposing Chikane and Shimako into Tales of MU is like, the best thing since sliced bread. Discuss.

I’m so unsure that I have time for this shit that watching and blogging it made me recall a term from AIR: ‘hima-hima seijin.’

I’ve now subjected myself to seven of the Spring 2008 shows. I can’t wait for Holic subs. I also finished Darker than Black for a second time last night, and for some reason, the ending STILL doesn’t make any sense. Everything that had been unexplained was suddenly explained with NEW METAPHYSICS that made no sense and weren’t explained. It was well-executed and classy, yeah, but substance-wise, it was absolutely nonsensical.

Itazura na Kiss

Itazura na Kiss looks AWESOME. AWESOME like Bokura ga Ita. I might be the only person on Earth to like the Bokura ga Ita anime, though, so maybe Itazura na Kiss will suck. At least while some jerks hate, someone seems hopeful. Oh, and someone else, too. I don’t actually know if I’m going to follow this. It seems like it’ll be fun but I really am strapped for time.

And now I need to praise this show, and not for any strengths on its part. I told Impz once before that I had forgiven him for [the terrible things he subjected me to in the past] but this… this is different. Impz has gone above and beyond the call of duty because of this show, writing an EPIC blog post that has secured itself a place forever in my hall of aniblogging legends. He may not know it… his readers probably don’t… but he has said something, because of Itazura na Kiss, that has made me fall head over heels for him.

Ladies and gentlemen, Impz.

I don’t think anymore needs to be said.

Kanokon

I’d pull my “there are no words” thing again, but I think it’s getting old, and who wants to read a blog the entire contents of which sum up to “I have no content?” Yeah, no one. Sooooo, thoughts. Well, it pissed me off like to-love-ru did. The foxgirl’s brother(?) was a total cock-blocker, too. Too bad he didn’t die when he got defenestrated (“defenestrated” is used here loosely—there were no windows involved, just COLD FIRE and walls); the two leads won’t get another good chance to lose their virginities. The rest of the show is going to go something like this:

Introduce new girl. New girl falls in love with Kouta for no fuggin’ reason. Foxgirl tries to have sex with Kouta. New girl interferes.

So yeah, gg hot hot sex. The kissing was pretty good, though. Also…

… is that some Skitch?

Two paths of shota and foxboobs intertwining… the union of trap…

And yes, I will be watching this show for at least one more episode. Color me Kouta.

P.S.—when you can enjoy something only by making fun of it with fellow animebloggers (read: the scum of the Earth), it’s pretty fuckin’ terrible.

Amatsuki

Yeeeeah, no. Sorry. The OP brought Kannazuki no Miko to mind with its sequence that screamed “this is the show’s plot!!” but failed to follow up with delicious yuri. It also doesn’t seem to have a character that can be nicknamed ‘USSR.’ These things are important and so this show is not. Good night, Amatsuki.

Also going against this show… according to Tenka Seiha’s Aroduc:

Druaga

For the first time in far too long, I agree with Kurogane on something. Druaga is absolutely amazing so far. I’m kind of afraid that they might lose a bit of their momentum, though, and there’s always the unfortunate possibility of becoming another Lucky Star if references are not kept in check.

The only downside of this show thus far is that I may be forced to hate it by a blogosphere that adores way too easily.

Wait, what?

From Cinnamon Ass:

I may be forced to hate the show by it actually being bad. :(
On the other hand, we’ve got some judgment from Josh of Josh’s Anime Blog:

I think today’s a day for “first in a long time”s as I find myself disagreeing with Shirukii about something other than the quality of Shakugan no Shana and Da Capo He says he’s not brimming with excitement. Whether or not the show turns out to be good is just one more thing to be making noise about! Now is the time to be excited, because with thirteen episodes, it’s now or never.

Majime na Lolikit

Itazura na Kiss is standard fare that doesn’t seem to be particularly interesting or terrible. Kanokon is total shit, as admitted by its strongest supporters (they’re total shit as well). Amatsuki I can’t honestly judge right now and I don’t suppose I’ll ever take the time to change that. Tower of Druaga is definitely the most interesting of the shows I’ve taken a look at so far this season, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it will unfold.

Quick note: I’ve been writing this post for 13.5 hours.