I’m back for more of the same, with an extra helping of poop.

Star Driver (2010-10-03) Series

Description

On a cross-shaped island in the South, a mysterious and gigantic humanoid robot known as the "Cybuddy" is discovered sealed in the underground ruins for untold ages. A group known as the "Order of the Glittering Star Cross" attempts to remove the seal by abducting a girl named Wako Agemaki, who they dubbed the "shrine maiden" and is the key to activating the robot. A boy named Takuto Tsunashi arrives with his own Cybuddy named Tauburn to rescue Wako. Thus begins a struggle to unlock the secrets of the advanced technology and prevent disaster.

Episodes: 25
Status: airing
Time: Sun 17:00+JST
Duration: 24m

Links: Official Official ANN

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I didn’t need to invent a witty nickname for this one; the show conveniently provided me with one. I wish I could say I was joking. The premise is… well, we don’t quite know what the premise is. What we do know? Shit makes shit for sense. Ridiculousness sprouts eternal. It’s almost so incredibly idiotic that I can’t help but love it.

I’m going to treat this like a Mai-HiME: a show that takes horse excrement and turns it upside down. Some kind soul will pat it on the back and say, “good job, you did something original!” The more observant viewer will shake his head and say, “it’s still shit.”

And I, too blinded by the shininess to be observant and too #AnimeHipster to be kind, will simply put on my shitty grin and nod along with the gratuitous mecha cock rings, the blatant Isekai rip-offs, the Markovian invasion fleet of sparkles, the utter failures at characterizing humans, and the general Jasonian train wreck of it all. What? I’m being gentle here. Ginga Bishounen’s polarizing! Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, lolikit’s just gonna piss all over everything.

Excuse me.

Toilet humor seemed most appropriate when dealing with fecal matter.

Otome Yokai Zakuro (2010-10-04) Series

Description

In an alternate history of the Meiji era where humans and magical beings known as "younin" live side by side, half-younin girls team up with army lieutenants to fight younin wrongdoers.

Status: airing
Time: Mon 25:30+JST
Episodes: 13
Duration: 24m

Links: Official ANN

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Er… let’s see what Melative says my first reaction to this show was.

2.5+1=3.5

I saw nothing redeeming in those 3.5 minutes. Quite the opposite: I saw a lot of fail. I’m willing to try again if someone convinces me. Hah! “I’ll be convinced if I can be convinced.” Tautology strikes again.

Super Robot Taisen OG: The Inspector (2010-10-01) Series

Episodes: 26
Status: airing
Time: Fri 25:00+JST
Duration: 25m

Links: Official ANN

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There simply wasn’t anything here for me. I can deal with mecha when there’s an interesting plot hook, when there are cool characters, or when it looks pretty, but when none of those conditions is met, I have to say the prospects are grim.

Can I just say that mecha flagship and fan favorite Kannazuki no Miko victorizes on all fronts? ;)

Sora no Otoshimono 2 (2010-10-01) Fall Series

Genre: comedy, fantasy, romance
Theme: ecchi
Episodes: 12
Status: airing
Time: Fri 25:00+JST
Duration: 24m

Links: Official ANN

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…

… female raindrops.

…

… with humongous tits.

Funny story: I downloaded this episode three times. I deleted it three times. I managed to force myself to sit through it about a total of one time, though it took many tries. I kept second-guessing myself: maybe I did want to sit through another twelve episodes of heaven’s big-breasted dump! Maybe.

Bowel movements dominate the day’s discussion, however, as I was ultimately unable to justify the watching of this. Episode 1 has finally been deleted that third time, never to be downloaded again.

Good riddance.

P.S.

(Has anyone mentioned how weird it is that I’m blogging anime?)

I died a little inside

Well, putting that joker aside, let’s get to the meat of episode 4. The verdict? It was not spectacular. Nothing surprising happened, nothing on the level of episode 3. Or… I should say that I in particular wasn’t surprised.

Because I was expecting realism.

And I got realism.

Namely, I was greeted with an implicit retelling of Kannazuki no Miko’s most valuable takeaway message. Himeko worries about Chikane following the KnM episode 8 rape “plot device”, puzzling over whether her best-friend-turned-sexual-assailant is an angel or a devil. She eventually concludes that Chikane is just a sixteen-year-old girl.

Now, Morishima Haruka isn’t 16. (And maybe she’s not a girl! We don’t know for sure, do we?)

But the trope applies.

When she breaks down in the hotel, crying about something so seemingly pointless—why hasn’t TJ confessed again? doesn’t he love her? wtf, mate?—rather than shake my head and sigh, I felt for her (and even more for TJ being subjected to the befuddling rant). One might smack her on the head and say, “Yo! Haruka! Maybe he’s not trying to be overbearing? Maybe the fact that he’s spending his Christmas eve with you is enough of an indication?”

But self-confidence is a big player in reality.

And ‘first-time’ feelings are scary.

It’s understandable that Haruka feel outside her element, and be worried, uncomfortable. What she was thinking by dragging TJ to a hotel is… well, that ED article I linked about 16-year-old girls might provide some answers. I wouldn’t shout “slut!”—or, I would, as lolikit, but not here. A time and a place for everything.

We can pontificate to our wits’ end as to whether all the dog stuff is reasonable/cute/weird/whatever, but in the end we see that this is not mere puppy love. Ten years down the line, the two are “rabu rabu” and still roleplaying.

This show GMH.

I hope future arcs live up to the stellar expectations set by this one.

We see it countless times—a protagonist faces hardship in finding happiness, ultimately conquers his demons, and finally begins a new life with an object of happiness. In much of what we watch, this object of happiness is also an object of romance. This is the case for just about every one of those eroge adaptations you love, for just about every one of those harem manga adaptations. Sometimes a series like Negima comes along—it tries to obfuscate the search for love with magic and battle, but it never does so very well. Even one of my very favorite shows, Kannazuki no Miko, is slave to this pattern; ultimately, all that matters is that Himeko and Chikane can be happy lovers in some later lifetime.

Some of the best shows invert this trope—in Honey and Clover, for instance, does Takemoto win love?

But again: most give themselves up to it, to this “hero’s journey” version of romance.

… and what happens beyond that?

Perhaps I speak only for myself when I say I would like to read a story about someone who has found that happiness, overcome those hardships, and is now dealing with daily tedium. How does she remain enthusiastic about what she loves? How does he remind himself of his luck? How does he enjoy what he has?

At the rate at which movies, both live-action and animated, from across the world convey messages of taking risks, moving on, going for your goal—doesn’t the consumer grow restless?

Perhaps I speak only for myself when I say that sometimes I watch a particularly good—inspiring, even—movie or show, one that falls into the pattern I described in the first paragraph but that remains good nonetheless, and I feel a twinge inside: ‘what are you waiting for? Go for it! Find your true happiness!’ And that makes me uncomfortable. Because I’m happy. I’m lucky. At least, I think I am. And show after show, movie after movie, I constantly get this nagging feeling like I need to be more active somehow.

Where are the role-models for a happy, unexciting life with little conflict and a lot of repetition?

The answer is obvious: Aria is a good example. But beyond Aria. Something more relevant to the life of a human on Earth, who falls in love and struggles to live an ethical life in a Mexican Gulf of crude oil? By which I mean—Akari’s world is idyllic. And it’s wonderful. Just like her. But every lesson we learn from her is an abstraction. Is there an Akari who lives in our world, who can act as a more practical exemplar?

I just watched Amélie, a 2001 french film that probably every person in the world except for me had already seen. It rocked. It was beautiful. It spoke to my True-Tearsian crying-heart-imagination whateverthefuckitwascalled.

But Amélie doesn’t teach us much about living.

We see her combat her solitude—and we learn from that.
We see her combat her cowardice—and we learn from that.
We see her plotting—and Ashirogi Muto could learn from that.
And then we see her love and be( )loved; she is happy as she rides on her boyfriend’s electrical bicycle.

What do we see after that?

Has she conquered her fears? Will she not return to solitude someday? She and her Romeo may be fated to be with each other, a perfect match, fated to be together. This is what the movie suggests. And yet, does life work like that? Relatively few contemporary films/shows make this conceit. And without it, all we know is that she’s happy for a snapshot following her first good sex. Yay?

“lolikit, you’re asking for too much,” you might say.

Or maybe even, “lolikit, no one thinks that deeply about these things…”

But I am. Because I just watched a movie—that one on the 22nd, with my gorgeous gorgeous CCY-senpai—and that movie betrayed the trope.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

Before proceeding, I need you to understand that I am expecting of you all the maturity required to sit there as I tell you that I liked the Haruhi movie. No, no, no, you don’t get it. Today is not April 1st. You can trust the internet. Shut up. Sit there and listen.

The Haruhi movie was good.

But my praise relevant to this post (which is forthcoming below) was not my first reaction to the film. Reality check: I still think the show had some major, major shortcomings. I don’t think it was good. In fact, I think large chunks of it straight-up blew. I’m not flip-flopping.

So. Initial impressions.

First: why did I go to see the movie?
In all honesty? I wanted to troll the shit out of it. I didn’t want to watch Mazui’s “super low quality” camrip, and I didn’t want to spout verbal diarrhea without knowing what the movie was actually about. I managed to avoid spoilers for a long time… when CCY told me the movie was about Nagato, we already had our seats. I was surprised, and I knew I was in for a treat. Not because I’m a Nagato fanboy. Because I had the feeling it would be interesting.

I also wanted to see Haruhi on the big screen—Kyoto Animation didn’t let me down.

Second: any memorable reactions during the movie?
I laughed with the crowd during the opening animation. My heart raced when Asakura Ryoko entered the classroom—I admit, that was epic. I noted Itsuki’s jealousy very happily. I’d never been satisfied with pigeonholing him into the role of “comedic gay guy,” and having this much more realistic reason behind his treatment of Kyon was extremely gratifying. I winced every time Hirano Aya spoke, but she was relatively reserved, so it wasn’t too painful. It helped that Haruhi’s screen time was something like 5% of the movie. Awww yeah. Kyon running to Haruhi’s high school in the altered world was also exhilarating.

Third: any objections?
Two major objections:

Objection A. Kyon pressing the enter key to initiate the reset sequence. He clearly didn’t need to do it to be with Haruhi; the only explanation I can think of is that he wanted to be firm with Nagato. There might be some technicality I’m missing, but it seemed like he and Haruhi hit it off pretty nicely in the altered world. The club had gathered, and what was to stop them from having a fabulous time together?

Objection B. The lens flare during Kyon’s internal dialogue.

Fourth, and last before I return to my main topic: immediate, post-watch summary of feelings?
It was solid. The story was interesting; many of the important parts were very well executed (Kyon’s breakdown being a high-point, his hunching over his bike and saying “I miss Haruhi” being another). Stupid fanservice ratio was much lower than for the actual show. Nagato’s blank personality guided entirely by infantile emotions was very well done, too; initially, I feared “oh crap, did she write herself to be this way? Fucking damn.” But then it became clear. She just erased the lock on her emotions, and became a sort of empty human—empty, that is, save for her feelings for Kyon.

Now, back to the subject at hand.

Kyon.

Kyon.

You spend 15,000 summers with Haruhi, and you still want to be with her. You’re still satisfied with her, with your life. And it’s not because you’re a pushover. It’s because you love her. (Protip: next time you try to justify reverting the world, say that you love her, not that it’s more fun…)

With this film, Kyon goes into the same hall of fame as the beautiful Senjougahara Hitagi. A down-to-earth person who is reasonable and human in his dealings and reactions. Who goes for what he wants, taking others into consideration. Who can home in on the core of an issue.

And ultimately, who is loving.

He loves Nagato—and appreciates very deeply, I believe, that she tried to make a better world for him.

But more than that, he loves Haruhi, and goes out of his way to show it.

Think about it: why would he open that clubroom door?

Think about it: why would he go downstairs to watch that baseball game between two unrelated prefectures?

Think about it: why does he run, run like a madman, when he learns where to find Haruhi? The movie shows us his violent side for the first time. It’s extremely sexy. He goes batshit because Haruhi is missing. And when she’s there, resting by his side in her sleeping bag, his tenderness!

I feel sorry for Itsuki.

He can’t compete.

Ultimately, Kyon humanizes Haruhi. He makes her a sixteen-year-old girl instead of a megalomaniacal goddess. Recall a line from one of my aforementioned favorite shows, Kannazuki no Miko: “You’re neither an angel nor a devil, Chikane-chan, you’re just a sixteen-year-old girl, just like me…”

Kyon makes Haruhi impotent as a goddess. Why would she want to recreate the world? And why would she want to be a total bitch?

She’s improving.

And he, John Smith, is ruggedly taking on an eternity of banal happiness with the person he loves. 15000 summers is nothing for him, it’s a brief moment that Nagato easily erased from everyone’s memories. But 15000 summers is a lot more than Amélie’s “un autre été.”

I hate to say it, but… best anime of 2010, to date?

The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi.

I think we can all learn a thing or two from it.

LET’S GET A LITTLE SACHIKO X YUMI ACTION GOING HERE

LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI

LUNCH IN THE ROSE GARDEN?!?!?!!oneoneeleven

It’s been ages since I last blogged trainwreck yuri. How many ages, you ask? Too many (this doesn’t count, because any yuri involving Chikane is automatically excellent). And damn is it good to be back.

I’M REMINDED OF AGONY—SO WHERE’S THE SHELL-MATCHING?

This show isn’t necessarily bad, actually. I just need something to make fun of right now, and Hyakko is too obvious. Toradora! has already been served justice, of course. Now, I’ve not ready any other blogs’ posts on Mouryou no Hako, aside from taking one glancing blow of a look at some post that accused someone of accusing the show of sucking. In other words, I have no idea what the “community sentiment” is. CJ Blackwing told me to watch this and mellow_bunny told me to blog this. That’s all there is to it.

KANAKO BEAM

As for any “real” thoughts I have regarding this show, well. I really did laugh a little when I saw Kanako reading on their date (and immediately remembered Lovely Kitsune’s post, and immediately needed to follow mellow_bunny’s advice). I really was amused by our heroine’s reactions to things and her gradual spiral downward into the sea of oblivion insanity. On the other hand, the show did pique my curiosity: I’m interested to find out what the hell is up with the talking heads in boxes, and stuff. Looks like yuri subplot isn’t over yet because the ED is an endless ring of naked girls, so maybe it’s not actually a subplot.

halo thar, MY NAME IS MR. COCKBLOCK

On the other hand, I absolutely cannot bring myself to care about our heroine (or her fuck buddy). Neither displays any substantial character prior to existing as nothing but insane lesbians. Neither is especially sympathetic, nor is either unsympathetic enough for me to care. They’re just sorta there, dancing under the moonlight.

And I guess that’s okay. Just, not the makings of an awesome yuri.

Buuuut it looks like we’ll be seeing more of this detective guy, and it looks like he might be more of a main character ultimately than our moon-crossed crazies, so things might turn out alright. The show also has a chance to become fucking awesome. Check out this line of events:

1. our heroine cooperates with Detective’s investigation
2. Kanako’s servant/brother/whoever Mr. Cockblock is knows Kanako’s secrets
3. Mr. Cockblock, in order to protect Kanako’s honor, kills our heroine
4. Mr. Cockblock and Detective have hot buttsex

PLEASE BE GENTLE—T-TOO ROUGH!!

The many faces of Kusumoto.

I CAME A LITTLE, THEN I REMEMBERED YAMI TO BOUSHI TO HON NO TABIBITO. I CAME AGAIN.

HERDING LILIES IS DANGEROUS WORK, BUT ONE LILY FOLLOWS ANOTHER LILY

Would I recommend this show to the casual viewer? Too early to tell. The possibilities seem endless. This could be a really interesting detective story or a really bad story about unrequited love, suicide, paranoia, and rebirth as your lover (again, Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito parallels). There are other directions it could go, too. /me shrugs

I’ll have fun blogging this until I stop having fun with it, I suppose.

Any other shows I should be blogging regularly? Let me know in the comments.

Well, that was maybe two months ago now. It’s about time I get that blog post out there.

Majime na Lolikit

Anime Characters Are Too Sexual In The Eyes Of Anime Characters,
or Why Unwarranted Jealousy Isn’t Cool Anymore

Aoi and Kaoru

Ai Yori Aoshi is a sweet story about two childhood friends, Kaoru and Aoi, realizing more mature emotions toward each other… for about three episodes. Then, in quick succession, the show introduces three female characters and has them all over the main character. The ground nuts on top of the whipped cream would be that our two lovers must keep their relationship secret for some unbelievably hackneyed reason, and thus any further female characters will see any kindness from Kaoru as an advance.

There’s some illogic there, and I’ll get to it in a moment, but first, let me explain the plot of Ai Yori Aoshi:

Kaoru and Aoi get together.

Let me repeat that:

Kaoru and Aoi get together.

“But lolikit, didn’t they do that in episodes one through three?” you might ask. And the answer is yes. But the world doesn’t know this and so they must spend twenty-three more episodes getting together. This means twenty-three episodes of enduring “romantic comedy” involving Kaoru and his haremettes, who aren’t really his haremettes because he’s already involved with Aoi and he’s not unfaithful (he loves her, and wants to be with her).

It raises the question: why?!

“But lolikit, a show where nothing happens can be wonderful too!” you might protest. And I’m the first one to defend a lack of plot or direction. Someone was bitching at me yesterday about how Mushishi was too repetitive, and had no overarching plot. I don’t actually know anything about Mushishi other than its alleged awesomeness, but I defended it, saying that my favorite shows have nothing happen in them, so how could a bit of repetition or lack of plot be that bad? The problem is that in Ai Yori Aoshi, there isn’t “nothing happening.” Sure, it’s slice of life and laid back, but the show is pushing harem moments into our faces one after another.

And you know what?

Both “OMG LOVE TRIANGLE OMG,” and the classic question of “who will he pick,” are both invalidated by the knowledge that he’s going to be with Aoi. This isn’t Shuffle, where Rin can unexpectedly pick Asa. This is Suzuka, and Yamato is going to pick Suzuka.

First parallel with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: we know the characters are going to be together, and we know this from the beginning.

Haruka and Yuuto are as “together” after two episodes of Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu as Kenji and Nanami are at the beginning of Lamune.

Now, going back to Ai Yori Aoshi, I’d like to point out another trend. Despite having some vestige of confidence and self-esteem, our beloved female lead occasionally show signs of jealousy. Why? Does she not see that her dear Kaoru-sama is completely devoted to her? Well, she does—but her womanly intuition (you know, that thing anime characters love citing and using as an excuse for equating women to dumb animals incapable of analysis) tells her that the women surrounding her man are a threat to their relationship.

The Enemy

Q: Why are they a threat?
A: Because they’re making advances on Kaoru.

Q: Why are they making advances on Kaoru?

A: Because they think he’s totally hot for them.

Q: Why do they think he’s totally hot for them?
A: Because he’s nice to them (illogic, again, I’ll get to this later).

Second parallel with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: the female lead worries unnecessarily about her relationship with the male lead when female characters with “no chance” (because the end couple is predetermined) enter the picture.

We see this with the Shiina in the second half of the show, many times.

Now I think is a fitting time to address the “illogic” I mentioned earlier. Take a look at this stereotypical line of events, common in trashy anime:

1. boy meets girl
2. boy, being a kind person, is nice to girl
3. girl thinks boy is being especially kind to her
4. girl falls for boy
5. boy wants nothing to do with girl
6. girl’s heart is broken

Suzumiya Akane

Well, you can see this formula in lots of places, I suppose. You can see it in Kimi ga Nozomu Eien, even—Suzumiya Haruka’s little sister Akane is attracted to Takayuki because he is “too kind to her.” The formula alone doesn’t make something trashy, and I guess a lot of that is in the execution. I’d say that in the majority of cases, though, the formula is a one-way ticket to lametasticity. And we see it in Ai Yori Aoshi. And we see it in Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu.

We don’t see it too often in shoujo anime (more often, the guy is a jerk and the girl falls for him—hey, sounds like real life!) and we don’t see it too often in real life (examine: the last parenthetical comment).

The main problem with the formula, as I see it, is that it doesn’t make sense. We’re not talking spending thousands of dollars and years of time for the girl—we’re talking something simple. Lending an umbrella. Working together on schoolwork. Watching out for a fellow human being. Girls: you’ve interacted with humans before, I imagine. Tell me: head over heels for everyone who’s shown you courtesy? Wet panties for the random guy who shares his textbook with you?

I must confess to the misguided sin of not being born female, but even I with my limited knowledge of the opposite sex presume to know the answer to some fundamental questions such as the two above: no.

Sexuality doesn’t work that way.

And because sexuality doesn’t work that way, I consider my intelligence insulted every time an anime insinuates that a heterosexual man cannot have a girlfriend and girl friends without eliciting jealousy from his girlfriend. We saw this in Suzuka with Yamato getting shit from his miko girlfriend (AND from Suzuka) for being nice to Suzuka. (This is an ambiguously bad example because one could dispute that the miko girlfriend was right and that he was crushing on Suzuka, but that most certainly was not his intention and he was never unfaithful.)

Let me give a couple examples of rare anime where “my boyfriend/love interest is a heterosexual male, he must be interested in cheating on me with his large collection of female friends” illogic is not present:

1. Lamune
2. To Heart

this is hilarious, in a number of ways

Both of these shows have large female casts, no more or less attractive than any other lineup of female anime characters, and a male character who is very friendly and close with many of these characters. The female leads are no more egotistical than those of Ai Yori Aoshi or Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu; they do not possess godly self-esteem. Yet they do not falter and they do not question, and that is well because their love interests, like most reasonable human beings, are not about to have relations with any girl they come across.

This characteristic holds for Kaoru and Yuuto, by the way. And yet…

Anyway, the sexuality of anime characters in the eyes of other characters is ludicrous in general. We see the attitude even in such blockbuster hits as Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu: in episode two, we are told by Kyon that Haruhi begins changing before the boys leave the room; she must view them as potatoes, and he says this with an air of distaste—this behavior is odd, unnatural, and for the sole reason that it reflects poorly on her sexuality.

Issues of hetero-/homosexuality aside, I feel like this statement in Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu is particularly ill-thought out.

The first problem with it is that the only good reason for changing in privacy is embarrassment. Embarrassment over how one looks. This should be independent of the potential viewer’s sexuality. If you don’t want someone staring at you while you’re changing, you don’t want someone staring at you while you’re changing. So really it’s more like Haruhi has no sense of shame (or that she has godly self-esteem, which I find unlikely given her behavior throughout the show and most especially her reaction to being thanked in episode 12).

The Ogre in question

The second problem with it is that “seeing men as potatoes” (and women, by the way—Kyon neglects to mention this, but I’ll point it out) is more likely part of Haruhi’s general disinterest in love. “Yeah, yeah,” you might say, “lolikit’s full of it. She’s thrilled when Kyon expresses interest in her.” But this is after being changed by what she experiences. At the show’s offset, she is “interested in a relationship with a time traveler, esper, etc.” but only because she’s interested in them period. Love isn’t her thing. And why?

Because she has a self-esteem issue. After being shown how pointless the individual is (remember her recollection of the ballgame) she has all but lost self-worth. She’s not a god or a bored human, “she’s a sixteen year old girl” (couldn’t help quoting Kannazuki no Miko here—I don’t know her age and I won’t be assed to look it up). She has her own existential quandary like so many angsty joshikousei, and it’s an obstacle in the way of caring one way or another about love and relationships. It’s not a matter of sexuality.

Man, I could go on harping about this one line of Haruhi for ages. But I could just as easily harp on any other example of characters taking each other’s sexuality too seriously. I’m sure there are at least one hundred per episode of Love Hina, and that’s only the face of an entire genre that is culpable of this behavior.

The main point here is: why so serious, Aoi? Why so serious, Haruka?

Your man is with you.

He’s not interested in the sluts throwing themselves at him, and neither are we.

So I ask you: why the unwarranted jealousy?

Miyamura Miyako, batshit

Oh, oh! Another awesome example: ef ~a tale of memories~ had this guy Hiro who loved this girl Miyako, but she went batshit because Hiro had a female childhood friend to whom he was friendly and supportive. Why the bitchiness, Miyako? Why the unwarranted jealousy? Your man is with you. (Another ambiguously bad example because Kei really did want Hiro inside her, but only ambiguously bad because Hiro clearly didn’t want in.)

I could present dozens more examples, but I think my point is made. This is my problem with Ai Yori Aoshi, and this is my problem with Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. This is my problem with a ton of romance shows. And that’s not to say that I have an inherent problem with romantic comedy. So long as it doesn’t make pretenses, and decides whether or not it’s harem/love polygon/etc., and sticks to that decision, I can forgive it its idiocy (for instance, I love Love Hina).

And finally, a good word in for Ai Yori Aoshi and Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: awwwwwwwwww the couples are so sweeeeeeeeet. (Thanks, Bawwwka-Raptor!)

Epilogue: If you didn’t know that Haruka and Yuuto were going to end up together, you haven’t seen a whole lot of anime. And in that case, I recommend the show to you. Take it as an opportunity to learn.

“My darkest secret is that my show was trash!”

Majime na Lolikit
How Aria Ruined Subtext, or Why Yuri Isn’t Funny Anymore

In early 2005, I finished watching AIR. At the time, I was active on the AnimeSuki.com forums (handle: Broken), and was active in discussing the episodes as they were aired and fansubbed. In the AIR episode 12 thread, someone linked to lovelykitsune.com‘s special feature. LK had written Misuzu’s final diary entry for her. I laughed my ass off and proceeded to read through the rest of his archives. I gobbled up his Maria-sama ga Miteru reviews like candy. It was, as he himself put it, a writer’s gold mine.

Amazed at how humorous this Maria-sama show appeared to be, I downloaded it (along with Negima and Kanon, some of the first anime I consumed after my introduction to the medium via Naruto) and watched it.

I laughed at the subtext and the ridiculous premise (it’s a lesbian Catholic school lolol) but the show simply wasn’t as funny as Lovely Kitsune had portrayed it. Saddened, I groped for a new angle from which to enjoy it, and eventually I found it: I could amuse myself by looking too far into possible subtext and then laughing at how gay everyone was (it’s a lesbian Catholic school lolol). It wasn’t that I was homophobic (those were turbulent times, and I was seriously considering the possibility that I myself was gay—actually, I still don’t have an answer O_o), but the overabundance of this otherness was more than enough to make me chuckle.

After reading Pretty Face (“Become my onee-sama #2!”) and watching such blockbusters as Mai-HiME (ShizNat) and Kannazuki no Miko (best confession scene ever), I found that I liked this ‘shoujo ai’ business quite a bit. They were so cute, and in a lot of cases they were facing adversity in order to stay true to themselves and their hearts.

A lot of the lulz went away, but the yuri goggles remained.

(What am I talking about? The lulz was as strong as ever. I lurked the shoujoai.com forums for a while and witnessed the first ever declaration of YFR—the hilarious forum interchange that led to me creating kyousora.com and infecting the minds of several other anibloggers.)

Eventually I came upon Strawberry Panic. It made me laugh at the yuri because it was laughable. I blame this entirely upon premise and script. Oh, and the over-dramatization of everything. Around the same time, I was just a fledgling aniblogger. I discovered danbooru. I discovered various other things… like Shoujo Sect… long and short of it is that I came to this revelation: yuri is hot!!

Subtext became even more awesome as I tread into the world of AWESOME Nanoha.

Desires were fulfilled as Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora ended.

And after some time, I saw Aria.

You say good things sometimes, Alice!

Aria’s an odd cookie. Almost entirely female cast, lots of deep caring and emotion, and yet not once—not once did I find a hint of girls’ love, subtextual or otherwise. I found sisterly doting, I found friendship, I found admiration.

Please direct your attention, for a moment, toward this post of Erica Friedman’s: Yuri Anime: Aria OAV Arietta (Thanks to icystorm over at Miminum Tempo for the heads’ up.)

I’ve never been a huge fan of Friedman’s. I know she’s done some great work, etc., but one day I stumbled across some Noir review of hers and it made me cringe. Noir wasn’t yuri as far as I could tell. I recall thinking to myself—is friendship such an impossible thing?

This is, for the record, the same reaction several of my classmates had in Bible as Literature when my teacher presented unto them the theory that David and Jonathan were “romantic friends.” So maybe I just had a preconception of Noir since I’d seen it before and might find the romance between Kirika and Mireille if I were to go into the show with Friedman’s review in mind… but there’s still a distinction, I feel, even between:

- romantic friendship

and

- sexuality

I can’t really imagine David and Jonathan going for that hawt hawt butthsekcz. They definitely did seem like more than (contemporary definition of) friends to me, though. The characters in Noir share an incredibly powerful bond; does that mean that they are a yuri couple? I don’t recall any indications that the two of them felt ANY attraction toward each other, physical or mental or otherwise. I was under the impression that they were brought together by the past, or fate, or something dumb like that, and that perhaps the “odd bedfellows” saying applies.

But a yuri couple?

And I say that same thing to Aria, only a million times over.

Creating something, together—possibly the height of human existence.

When I first watched Aria episode two or whichever, the one where Akari sleeps over in Aika’s room, I probably thought something like, “oooo yuri action oh yeah.” I guarantee that by the time I finished season one, such vulgar thoughts had been completely dispelled. When I say vulgar, I am not incriminating yuri—I am incriminating subtext. Sure, it’s there, and I’m sure people can find it (after all, Erica Friedman did!), but what does it add, other than cheap giggles? If it’s not solid, if it’s not canon, it’s only speculation.

Speculation is something that you get fans to do when you try to entice them with fluff (see: Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu). Did Kozue Amano want us to try to figure out which of the Aria girls were getting off on which others’ fingers? For some reason, I doubt it. Did Mag Garden? Please. It’s there, but only if you’ve trained yourself to find it anywhere can you find it in Aria. Subtext can literally be found in everything if you’re well enough trained.

It’s like over-analyzing things.

I’m not trying to be a deconstructionist, I’m just trying to rationalize—what benefit does Aria gain from lesbianism? I found it quite reassuringly non-retarded that the work just about never touched on sexuality (we know Akatsuki is crushing on Akari and that Aika and Harry Potter get together, but even that doesn’t tell us that much) because, from my point of view, sexuality is a fairly boring topic (though this does not mean that I intentionally ignore it). It’s much more interesting for me to focus on the scenery or the messages or the character drama than the possibilities of who’s attracted to whom. Yes, believe it or not, you can have character drama without romance! Alicia and Akari’s tearful hug in Origination 13 was not the culmination of their lust and sexual tension.

gomenasi, for everything gomenasai

Before you say “but it could be!” let me point you to a very similar scene, both in direction and character action: AIR episode 6; Tohno Minagi returns to her mother’s home and the two share a tearful embrace.

The writer(s) behind AIR had serious mom issues, methinks—there’s a bit of a trend here.

(I refuse to believe that Minagi was hot for her mom. If you think that this is a bad comparison becaue she was hot for her mom, please explain to me why and how she is hot for her mom.)

And because there is nothing explicitly stated in Aria, and because I see no sexuality implied in it, I don’t find any lesbians. Whether the characters ARE gay, or straight, or bi, or what have you, is a pointless question: none of the characters are in yuri relationships. You can spend a lifetime speculating about sexuality if you have no solid cues.

The idea of Aria porn makes me uneasy.

The show is too pure for that. Too innocent. Too much about living a certain way. Not at all about whom to do or why.

Similarly, the idea of pairing Aria characters and doing anything in the vein of fanporn unsettles me, be it fanfic or fanart or so much as discussing one’s support for a coupling. Much as Neo-Venezia is a world beyond disease and homicide, it is a world beyond sex. Such thoughts simply don’t exist in Aria. There was never anything about dating or societal pressures to fulfill gender roles and get into certain relationships or making babies or not making babies or defying a conservative society or taking advantage of a liberal one. None of these topics are touched upon, thus furthering the detachment from sexuality.

And with all the unbridled potential for yuri (a full cast of females at the extremes of hot or cute in terms of both appearance and personality), combined with this total absence of sexuality, I have completely lost my drive to examine subtext or find lesbians in anime.

I don’t see the point anymore.

Why seek cheap laughs or pursue fetishes when something so perfect, so pure, so devoid of questions exists? Aria is the end-all be-all of my anime experience, and it has vanquished my love for yuri. It has vanquished my love for giggling childishly at possibilities.

Aria killed subtext.

And one last note, in case any staunch Aria yuri fans are reading this:

If Akari and Alicia were in a lesbian relationship, would Alicia have left to go get married to some other person? Alicia is mature. She doesn’t need to graduate schoolgirl lesbianism.

Transposing Chikane and Shimako into Tales of MU is like, the best thing since sliced bread. Discuss.

And he got really, really pissed off, and disconnected.

In between my asking “so?” and my friend’s disconnection, I managed to squeeze in a “the Emperor is also a terrorist…” though I don’t know if my friend caught that bit or, even if he did, grasped the meaning of it in the current context. He just said something loaded about how he can’t talk to someone who “supports” people “like Zero or Light” and signed off.

Let me make myself clear: I don’t “support” Light. I don’t “support” Zero. Mass murder (or any murder at all) is not something I enjoy supporting (or practicing).

But if you’re looking at Code Geass, you can’t just call Zero a terrorist and say that that’s enough analysis. You can’t just say “oh look he’s a bad guy.” He does bad things, yes, and he makes the one immense fuck-up with regards to Euphemia (whom I really, really dislike). But who in the show doesn’t do bad things? Who in the show isn’t a terrorist? Who in the show isn’t, to some degree, evil? The number of such characters is small. We’ve got (I’m not even going to try to spell names) the best friend, the girlfriend, the council president, the little sister, the cat, and—if we’re generous—the science/masturbation nerd.

Every other character in Code Geass has SOME mark against them.
(lolikit will stand by this. feel free to comment with names of characters whom you think are devoid of evil/flaws/cruelty/misguidedness. lolikit will show you just how wrong you are.)

Actually, the girlfriend has a mark against her as well, but that mark sort of falls into the Kannazuki no Miko “you’re not an angel or a devil, Chikane-chan!” category.

Alright, so it’s pretty obvious that, say, Zero’s maid is a bit less destructive than Zero is. But she’s still a terrorist. As are all the Black Knights, and all the 11s who support them. The Brittanian government and armies, attacking the weak and powerless and using fear/lies to contaminate the mass media, are clearly terrorists (in a similar manner to the American government—insert Oceania joke here). I don’t see who the good guy is that Zero should lose to.

“Suzaku,” my friend says. “He tried to atone.”

I don’t remember him trying to atone, unless atonement’s meaning was changed to “lie and try to forget.” If all his bullshit about changing Brittania from within was his attempt at atonement, then he’s nothing more than delusional. That’d be like a kid straight out of high school taking a minimum wage part-time job setting up displays in an AT&T store, claiming that he’ll change AT&T’s evil policies from within. Things don’t work that way.

By some random stroke of luck—namely, being a kind person, and happening to bump into undercover Euphemia (whom I dislike immensely)—Suzaku ends up on a path that actually leads to him attaining some tangible power within the Brittanian government. But he’s butt hurt about Euphemia (whom I don’t especially care for) and he sold out his best friend and he still hasn’t fixed anything, instead becoming the bitch of the Emperor. Unless “changing from within” referred to Suzaku’s sexuality, I don’t see how anything has been accomplished on his end.

So yeah, while I don’t agree with every one of Zero’s actions (and I don’t think the viewer is supposed to…) I can’t quite say that I think he’s “the worst” and that he needs to be shut down and punished. Given the context of the show and the struggles portrayed, I think Zero does a decent job. I don’t support him—I don’t preach his methods, I don’t plaster his likeness on my wall—but I don’t support anyone else more. I don’t see how I lack morals or am a worse person for finding less fault in Zero than in his opponents.

And see, this post isn’t about Zero, or Suzaku, or who’s right or who’s wrong within the show.

This post is about my friend, who thinks he can’t be my friend anymore. I wish I were making this shit up, but, as I’ve said in many places on this site in the past, “I can’t make this shit up.” This particular friend might just be a dipshit who takes anime too seriously, but I’ve known him for a long time and don’t want Zero to come between us.

PLEASE, ANIBLOGOSPHERE!!!

Relationship advice plz.