we're finally notdotq anymore

notdotq brings you this coverage in conjunction with Shirukii. You can see Part 1 of my coverage here. Also, yes, I gave into “Owen’s hegemony” and watched subs. Now with 2500% more title attributes.

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So it turns out that this Sixten guy—creator of Miao diary, lover of perverse things—is not only lolicon and gay (yes, at the same time, somehow, see: wants to j-j-j-jam it into Jason), but he is also a fairly high-level troll. » Continue reading this…

Seriously, when did this crap become Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha?

“I don’t know how to become friends.”
“It’s super simple, Genpou-chan! All you have to do is call my name!“

Great Guardians … it left me feeling like it lacked something integral, something promised by the name. Maybe the whole “great” part. There also weren’t any guardians. There wasn’t a whole lot of anything, in fact. Maybe after twenty-five episodes of shit I was desensitized to such things as pantie shots or cleavage but this time around even those felt scarce. I missed the conflict, I missed the resolution.

Hell, I missed the part where Ryomou forgave Ryofu for fingering her back in season one.

Um, does anyone care about Ryofu dying again? I think I was with this season for about two minutes when I thought Kannu was dying. That made me kind of sad. Then I watched the next episode and she was alive. I think there was a disconnect at that point. So Ryofu going again? Big fucking deal. Maybe Ryomou’s sad because Ryofu promised a flute for their second time but the second time never came.

When I say “Big Success,” I mean that the creators succeeded in creating something vaguely approaching value. By taking MGLN’s stellar premise and themes and applying those to their lame fanservice shit, they leveled up their product. “Big Success” in no way refers to the actual quality of Great Guardians. I’m throwing it into the ever-humongous 1/10 category on MyAnimeList.

I can’t bitch too much, though.

The observant observer might take the time to comment, “what did you expect, dipshit?”

Anyway, one last parting shot before I burn this show from my memory:

What is this—the non-existent wish fulfillment arc for Kimi ga Nozomu Eien?!

My old piano teacher died, so I got emo and impotent and Shirukii-chan beat me. And yes, the people who are making Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora connections (myself and Shirukii) really need to stop.

TONZURA KOITE

I’d let Matsuri slip on my banana peel any day.

SCAFFOLDS FALL, EVERYONE DIES

Apparently, Matsuri’s kickass ability is that she can age things(?). She rusts the metal scaffolding to make it collapse and causes a brick to crumble to the point where she can pull it apart with her bare hands. Furthermore, she can jump like a mother-fuckin’ ninja and do mid-air maneuvers, sans shadow clones. Whether or not she would beat Uzumaki Naruto isn’t even a question, but can she break through Konata’s beautiful hurricane kick combo?

PUT MY HOOD TO YOUR POLLOW AND

J-J-JAM IT IN!!

(obligatory sex joke with F/SN reference)

“I HAVE NO REGRETS”

This makes Matsuri more sure of herself than Ayana or whichever whore sang the ED of Kanon 2006. This also makes Matsuri as sure of herself as Momochi Zabuza. Meaning that she has followed Addie Bundren’s father’s advice and gotten ready to die. (Hey, Mike, if you’re reading this? Please, yell at me later for making Faulkner references on my blog? I really need to stop.) My question: as Matsuri isn’t exactly a vampire, does this make her not exactly living dead?

MEMORIES OF CREAM LEMON ESCALATION

Matsuri’s fingering someone. If you don’t get it, good.
If you do get it, well, I’m fucking hilarious.
If you don’t get it, good. And I’m still fucking hilarious.

“WAKE UP, WHORE. I DON’T PAY YOU TO SLEEP IN CARDBOARD BOXES.”

When Scruffy says for the doll to sleep with him, he means in a bed. The danbooru is “moe” and all, but really, it’s a tight fit for the both of them and their kama-sutra rituals. I like the doll, actually. Thanks to the character design style, her face is way too angular to appear ultra-loli, and she actually doesn’t look too rozen. Of course, I have no idea what “rozen” is, or whether it’s good or bad or what. I must be like, the only person alive who has not seen that show.

ARC VIBES

I remember when Arcueid Brunestud left her “bai bai” note. It was a little less symbolic and artsy, some scrap of paper with the letters scrawled on it. Not only is Matsuri badass enough to deface art with her emo goodbye, but she’s so badass she doesn’t even leave! She’s so badass, she goes and lies down on Dorito-kun’s bed! And he’s so badass, he doesn’t bang her. As Shirukii-chan says,

Dorito-kun is presented with a prime opportunity to bed Matsuri, yet they opt to stare at his -fake- sky instead. Fail.

Replace “fail” with “rock on” and you get my version of events.

MOST BADASS CEILING, EVER

(This explains the inconsistency in lighting at the beginning of episode one. Nice.)

Majime na Lolikit

So they play the “real” OP for us this time. And wow, while the song is nothing special (nor anything good) the sequence itself is epic. Maybe I’m a soraphile.

In terms of what the episode had to offer… it seems like they’re feeding us fairly stock character with a fairly stock storyline, originalities being terminology and soraphaelia. But fuck, I have no complaints. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the beauty of this show is better than sex. I’d say something about Anse, but it’d be yet another Faulkner reference, and I’m not a girl. Anyway, point is, so long as they keep bombarding me with skies and beautiful backgrounds, I’ll be happy.

Really. I will.