Lolikitean Christmas continues with more Madoka (click for yesterday’s).

I never “shipped” Kyoko and Sayaka the way some have. As some of you may remember, yuri goggles lost their usefulness for me thanks to Erica Friedman treating Aria the way yuri fangirls will. I shouldn’t blame her. In fact, I retract all my previous poison. But she was still wrong, still a bullheaded dipshit, and her obstinate insistence upon reading her fandom and tendencies into everything from Noir to AIR ruined yurispec for me forever.

All this said: the friendship between the two weakest characters in the cast impressed me, and when Kyoko’s scorpion and Sayaka’s mermaid clash in their final fight, I was shaken.

Never forget.

Love & mutual destruction are not infrequently linked.

(ShizNat, anyone?)

“What did we do to deserve this shit?”

I’ve said my bit about the flaws in the show. I won’t repeat myself here. But I am amused. Not because the show made me laugh. Not because the show made me cry. Nor, in fact, because the show was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Rather, because the aniblogosphere is so incredibly predictable.

It’s like, seriously, guys? Are we so important? (Oh, right, bloggers, n.—self-important egomaniacal masturbators) If there’s a chance to rage, we rage. If there’s a chance to mock others for raging, we mock others for raging. Everyone sits on their own high horse, be it moral (“I can’t stand incest! I thought this show was above that!”), aesthetic (“I can’t stand Kirino! I thought she was better than bitchdere!”), or meta (“I can’t stand these other bloggers! I thought they would manage to keep their heads on!”).

As OreImo’s fourth episode proliferates its scars across the aniblogosphere, we’re rapidly turning into a cavalry regimen.

And I?

I stand proudly with my feet each on the saddle of two separate horses, wielding my axe high above my head. “Bring it,” cries the the good doctor, “show me one of you to rise above this pointless bickering!” I watched, I waited. Forty-eight painful hours passed by. And finally, at long last, a challenger stepped forward: someone who promised change, someone who expressed disdain on the meta-anibloggery level, someone who ostensibly sought to rise above the “shitstorm.”

And that challenger’s name was Valence.

mmm graphs

He laughed, he cried, he pointed out the idiocy. Here we have a man truly touched by the full gamut of animemotions! Both accepting his annoyance with the show and his undying love for it, he indicated the irony inherent in his own stance. And to top it all off, he did this all by applying graphs to the show.

I think the crowning grace of this post is that in the same single image he damned OreImo, penning a discomfort index, and made an extremely derpy concession: note where the fanservice scene lies. Yes. That’s right. A local minimum in the discomfort index.

Beautiful.

Truly a scholar and a pervert, Valence sets an example for the enti—

What?

The post continues beyond the image? Wait a sec…

Before you accuse me of being a hypocrite, I admit, this post sounds critical, I know. But what I want is for everyone to just relax.

You can flame each other once the show is over.

What the fuck is that?

Qualifying beyond qualification, equivocating beyond equivocating, hedging beyond the hedge. “Before you call me a hypocrite, I know I’m a hypocrite!” … isn’t that hypocrisy ‘sono mono’ ? Jeez. So much for Valence’s valence.

One potential messiah debunked and defenestrated, the good doctor returns to waiting. He sits. He waits. He sits. He waits. Will another challenger appear? One who will unite the aniblogosphere behind a banner of #animehipster uncaring, one who will bring irony and justice but most of all ironic justice to bear in our eternal fight against the chilling effects of the eternally raging shitstorm?

In simpler terms, “can’t we all just get along?”

Valence betrayed us by putting an expiration on his proposed truth. We can attack each other to our heart’s content once the show is over. Sounds like American politics: “just wait a bit longer…”

Can we all just get along?

No.

And I, Dr. lolikitsune, am perfectly fine with that.

KIRABOSHI~★

Pretty atrocious, right?

But what I have outlined can be dealt with. It’s nothing harmful, nothing frightening. How do we dispose of SVS? We ignore him. How do we dispose of Weeaboo Fantastique akinari-kun? Well, we would ignore him, but for one little catch.

He has commandeered the Yukan! blog.

At first glance, this didn’t seem so insidious. He had the blessing of an old Yukanner, supposedly, and he responded positively to the first comment posted on his announcement: a cordial greeting from Ryan. “What?” you ask: “I don’t see any comments on that post!”

Yeah, that’s the main reason I brought up SVS.

After I backed him into a corner—an innocent line of questioning made him feel uncomfortable with his own motivations, it would seem—he turned off comments and deleted the thread. Don’t worry, it can still be read, albeit in PNG form. Thanks go to otou-san for hosting the following screenshot:

(kimaguresan has been kind enough to host a backup of the entire page, comments included: yukanblog.htm)

Frankly, I am disgusted. Disgusted at this guy’s agenda. Why does he want Yukan!? What’s there in it for him? He’s already got his own piss-poor team blog (no, seriously, it’s shit). The team he’s bringing with him is his team, not the old Yukan! folks. What’s Yukan! without blissmo?

And then the nerve: to remove lelangir and otou-san’s admin access?

And then the sleaze: to delete the comments!

Protip to Mr. Yukan!-wannabe: go delete all the spam comments that have built up on Yukan! over the years like so many layers of Trojan dust before you ‘revive’ the blog.

As for me, I’m with kimaguresan up to the point of being lost at “SUGOI,” but this is Dr. lolikit we’re talking about. I can’t pass, I can’t hold back, I can’t refrain. I shall indulge in my own agenda, and it is crystal clear what that is! Moritheil can sit back and watch; I’m gathering torches and pitchforks. This is war.

Randall: punk this bitch.

ONEGAI SHIMASU!!!!

Lolikit. LK-niisan. Where did you fall so hard? What happened to the trolling? What happened to the violence, the hate, the rage? How is it, that these many years on, I am the sole surviving LK that legitimately dislikes Lucky Star, K-ON, all of it? You had to have known. You had to have suspected. Your irony will only carry you so far, LK-niisan.

I still rage. I still protest. I still leave in rage when my anime club at school puts on Lucky Star. (No, seriously, guys. They made me sit through the first episode. It was SO BAD. What the fuck do you see in this show!? Other than Shiraishi Minoru. Minoru-sama is still god.) I still make obscene jokes about YFR and CJ. I still bitch about Jason fucking Miao. I still fuck up my tags. Nothing will change, in my soul. Call me a dinosaur if you will! A relicant! A fossil of a by-gone era of trolling! But I will hold out. I will make my random unpredictable violent posts that no one gives a shit about. I will keep following the twitters of a dozen anibloggers whose blogs I don’t read. I will keep hating on what I signed on to hate, back in 2005.

I’m not giving up. Never will my hate fade. K-ON is nothing but fucking moeblobs doing what moeblobs do worst: aspire to quality.

So fuck. That. Shit.

.lolikappa

DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

DRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrRrRrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRrrrrr

This looks pretty bitchin’ awesome. I mean, the guy in the middle is a butler or some shit, and he’s got a baseball bat covered with SHADOW SPIKES. Clearly he’s going to murder everyone with his shadowmancy. The other guys are also shadowmancers. The first episode is all about how they meet, at this sweetass restaurant. The guy in the middle (who Im’a call Green ’cause I can’t remember his real name) is a waiter there, and the other guys are hipsters who are meeting there for a date. They all get attacked by motorcycles, whose engines are just like DRRRRRRRRR all the fucking time, but it’s chill, because they use their shadows to cut the motorcycles in half. It’s kind of a ripoff of Pride from FMA, but whatever. It’s cool.

Also it looks like it was drawn by the designers of Persona 4, and some totally hot chicks told me that game was bitchin’, so I’m gonna say it was bitchin’ too. So yeah, bonus points for that.

DANCE IN THE VAMPIRE BUNDT CAKE

So… it’s basically Moon Phase, only with more blatant pedophilia. TARGET AUDIENCE: JOSH PINES. Seriously, I’m playing Star Wars RPG right now (yeah, fuck you) and my DM says he wants to watch this shit. So steer clear of this, because that dude is a fucking pedophile. And unless you wanna get tainted like he is, DON’T WATCH THIS SHIT. I mean he’s a pretty good DM, but seriously the dude likes little girl vampires. Creepy shit.

So what’s this about? Well, the first episode involves this naked vampire chick (I mean technically she’s got a cloak) and she eats like twenty guys, and turns them into zombies. Then she uses the flowers in her hair to seduce this salaryman, Kotaro. See he’s secretly a pedo too (viewpoint character or something) and she’s seducing him away from his boringass wife. There was some sketchy implications that Kotaro was a chosen one or something, but I didn’t really pay much attention.

My main concern: WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE BUNDT CAKE? I’M HUNGRY AS SHIT.

SORA NO WOTO

The only thing that could make this picture better would be if it were a flute. And if she were playing it with her vagoo.

Sora no Woto is fucking amazing. I mean seriously, I’m tentatively gonna declare this best series of 2010. I only saw the OP, but that’s already enough. From what I could gather from the PVs and stuff, it’s the story of a wandering soldier known only as the Sky Bugler. She passes through the post-apocalyptic industrial countryside, showing off her badass bugling skills. It’s a heartwarming story of life and love in a world beyond the end of the world. Science has failed, and only music can save humanity at this point, so it’s up to the Sky Bugler. She has a profound elemental connection to the sky, and can understand the nature of the war that came before.

This is one to watch, guys. Trust me on this. I’m an expert.

HANAMARU KINDERGRABBER

No seriously, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Apparently someone decided Ichigo Mashimaro wasn’t foetal enough. So now we legitimately have a show about FETUSES RUNNING AROUND. Holy fucking balls. And their dad is a florist. Who looks like Keitaro from fucking Love Hina. Holy balls.

The first episode… NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED. It was literally 24 minutes of fetuses staring at each other and giggling occasionally. Then one of them SHAT THEMSELF. I feel like I could’ve scrubbed bleach into my eyes for 24 minutes and had it be more productive than this bullshit. Jesus fetusfucking Christ.

NODAME CANTPLAYIT GRAND FINALE

So, this is the seventeenth season of this series, about some chick who plays piano and some guy who stabs people with a conductor’s baton. The chick used to be lame as shit, but in the new series, she’s taken a level in badass, and has ninja skills. You can see that in this picture, where she catches a fly with her bare hands. It’s pretty intense.

Anyway, this series picks up where the last one left off, namely with her discovering his secret identity as a crime fighting Parisian. That’s right, motherfucker’s from Paris. Since she’s British and Japanese, this is pretty intense. But as the new episode opens, she reveals that she too is a crimefighter. Now, with both of them together, they can take on the most dastardly villain of all: Michael Tilson Thomas. It’s going to take all of their power to stop his mad plot to take over the entire world through a particularly intense concert. Everyone will dance to the beat of his baton!

I’m pretty excited for this series, because Michael Tilson Thomas is a badass, and has glowing blue glasses. I met him at a party this one time, up in Mendocino in a barn. He was a cool dude. I almost got glasses like him.

Some promo art of the Big Bad. Look at that badass.

KATANAGATARI

So, “Katanagatari,” which is short for Katamari Gattai Train, is pretty damn awesome. The art style is absolutely gorgeous. It’s by Nisio Isin, and is an adaptation of the original Katamari, but takes the series in a VERY different direction. That guy in the middle there? That’s the Prince of All Cosmos. See, his father, the King of All Cosmos, got drunk as shit one night on sake, and crashed the beautiful Japanese palace into itself, resulting in the cherry blossom petals being scattered to the four winds. The Prince must now set out on his magic train to gattai with every beautiful girl in the land, in order to prove his own self-worth to himself. The whole thing is very metaphorical, and has constant allusions to the Tale of Genji. It’s a beautiful work of art, and definitely one to follow this season.

SEIKON NO QUASAR

So, quasars are the coolest shit in space.

Unfortunately, this show doesn’t live up to the brilliance of its own premise. It’s set in the distant future, and follows the story of that young badass in the front, Seikon. He lives with his four sexyass goth-loli maids in a fucking quasar. That’s right, a quasar. Unfortunately, the quasar recently set a blast of energy at an inhabited planet, and wiped out half of the planet. So now the survivors have come for Seikon, to get their vengeance. Seikon must ride into battle to defend his harem, armed only with his epic scythe, made out of space.

It’s incredibly sweet, but beyond the character designs, there’s not a lot to see here. The writing is mediocre, the fanservice is crap, and the fight scenes are incredibly poorly animated. DROPPED.

That’s all I’ve got time for today. I’ve gotta convince Mace Windu not to kill me, and get his help to kill some Unifying Force bitch. Whatever, I’ve got a Kaminoan geneticist captive to extend my lifespan, because I’m a badass Clone Trooper.

I’ll post my thoughts on the remaining series sometime tomorrow.

For now, this is lolikappa, signing off, underlings.

.lolikappa

I like flames.

These guys are the Queen’s bollocks. I love them. They write run-on sentences and don’t afraid of anything. They compare themselves to volcanoes—you know who else did that? Kamina. Eat your heart out, TTGL fans.

Anyway, the mission is clear: these pleasant individuals wish to stamp out the “incorrect” usage of the term “otaku” in the EL aniblogosphere by publicly shaming bad animebloggers who “incorrectly” dub themselves “otaku.” A noble goal. I love crusaders, and the conviction and vitriol these guys pack remind me of my days spent raging against Lucky Star. Go get’em, anonytaigas! Pounce on those shitty Danny Choo-wannabes, pin’em down, rape the daylights out of them, and then pull back, in full ape form, beat your chests and scream “EEEEEEEEELIMINATED!!”

According to a site search, this is my first post containing the word “otaku,” disregarding a link to a post of digitalboy’s (digi’s post had the term “otaku” in its name). As such, I doubt I will come under fire personally, though it would no doubt be fun to. And I don’t say this in the “omg I’m so cute, I call myself a masochist” way in which countless losers begged to be on the OEG list. I say this because this shit is fun, pure, unadulterated barrel of monkeys.

Three hints and suggestions for the OEG folks:

- don’t force the cordiality. Be as angry as you like, by all means.
- review every EL aniblog. You can’t say shit like “digitalboy isn’t notable enough.” Be thorough. Really get into the bones of this. Don’t fuck this up.
- work faster. Do you really need a whole week for four disses? C’mon, chop chop.

And yes, I am only writing this post because one of the OEG dudes nodded my way in their latest blogation. But who the fuck cares? That’s how the ‘sphere has always worked, from before the fall of (the original) Blogsuki. Circle jerks and all that. Yeehaw.

Yet these hands will never know KIRA~☆

Kaioshin Sama of internet infamy (mostly due to his trollish appearance, which in turn is mostly due to the fact that he has taste and a brain) has issued a challenge to me in the comments of one of RABURI RABURI ghostlightning-chan’s suteki My Hometown-style hippie anti-war pro-love posts. **I move away from the mic to breathe in** The post had been about how people shouldn’t mindlessly hate things, and I had sort of “derailed” (har har) the comments by my introducing my belief that love should be justified just as much as hatred, and that people should always be able to back up their evaluations of shows (and studios).

While we were on the topic of thinking and challenging oneself to be more critical, Kaioshin said:

And if you are looking for a challenge I have one for you. Find me something good that Jason Miao did in terms of blogging……..ever. I have a feeling that I’ve sent you on a wild goose chase, but this could prove interesting nonetheless.

I could point at the sky walls of this blog and yell “Who the hell do you think I am?!” but, as some shrewd observers might observe, the Jason Miao love evident on this site is merely high-level mendacity in its most convoluted form. I have no love for Jason Miao. I am not his biggest fanboy. I cannot point at his forced memes and say “BEHOLD!” while crushing Kaioshin’s challenge in his face.

Two drills, of hand and tail combined—the unison of Vindication, Loli-Kitsu!!

Well, I could. But shouldn’t there be some limit to how sarcastic I can be?

Having decided to take Kaioshin’s challenge seriously, I shall now present unto the aniblogosphere the two and a half good things Jason Miao has done “in terms of blogging,” which I take to mean both “behavior helpful to anibloggers” and “spectacularly legendary blog posts that stimulate the ‘sphere.”

2.5 – Jason Miao liberated Sixten

Were it not for Jason Miao, aniblogosphere illustrator-commenter extraordinaire Sixten would not be the appreciable source of lulz he currently is. Yes, in order to unleash Sixten’s Miao Diary upon the world Jason first had to indenture the poor guy and give him one hell of a complex. Check out this quote:

I am not taking commissions right now, except from family members or Jason Miao (who can always get work from me for free if they ask nicely). – Sixten, Artists are cheap

My interpretation? This guy is whipped.

In any event, it is fact that Sixten was bound to Jason and it is fact that Jason set him free. This is perhaps the best thing Jason has done character-wise; it reflects well on him. I wouldn’t say it’s the best thing he’s done in terms of blogging (hence this point only being ranked #2.5), but it’s pretty good. The Sixten we know today is breaking people everywhere while producing and sharing enjoyable artwork. He’s a positive force in the aniblogosphere, using his art to comment on developments in the community.

It’s good to have the present-day Sixten, and for that, I thank Jason Miao.

1.5 – Jason Miao ran Blogsuki horribly

Because Jason was an elitist prick and Blogsuki was nothing more than Jason Miao’s personal feed reader masquerading as a service to the aniblogocircle, there was room for Hung to come on stage, create Animeなの, and weave a basket from the lonely reeds.

Had Jason run Blogsuki well, the aniblogosphere would have evolved very differently. It’s a good thing he fucked up.

What? “How did he fuck up,” you ask?

Well, riddle me this. Can you load Blogsuki? Fuck off.

It’s good to have the present-day ‘sphere, and for that, I thank Jason Miao.

0.5 – Jason Miao is the aniblogosphere’s Virgin Mary

I always pin my genesis as an aniblogger on Fred Gallagher, because one of his Megatokyo rants got me to watch AIR, and that was around the time I was a regular poster on the AnimeSuki forums, through which I encountered Lovely Kitsune. And this is with good reason, for were it not for Lovely Kitsune I would have no idea what anime blogs are. He was also the one to introduce me to blogrolls (I remember he hated bluemist for placing him on his blogroll) and AIM blocks (I hero-worshipped him because I didn’t know better).

From my first post regarding the 2008 Anime Blog Awards:

Lovely Kitsune blogged epic on AIR, and it’s arguable that without him I would not have started anime blogging, and that without that, ANO’s IRC channel would have never been created, and that without that, the ANO community might never have come together, and well… the possibilities run wild from there. But basically, Jason Miao would still run the aniblogosphere.

But all that said, Lovely Kitsune merely gave me awareness. The one who propelled me into creating “notdotq, seriously!” and the lolikitsune persona was none other than Jason Miao. Thanks to his hard work creating this post, singularity was avoided and the present we know is the true and correct present.

I’ll have you notice a few things about this post of his: first, it’s tongue-in-cheek, second, it’s funny, and third, it’s mostly useful. Unbelievable, right? I mean, this is Jason Miao we’re talking about!

… it’s high time I check my quality rating again.

But I digress! Back on the topic of hand, that post got me to begin blogging anime. Now, I ask that you look around you. Were it not for me, would Animeなの’s community have developed as it did? Take a moment to chew on that one. Would Dr. Japes and Hinano be getting married? Would Os have cycled through four team blogs or would he have given up when his friends in KonOSono bailed on him? Would Owen have ever begun blogging? Would he have formed the ABC? Would I have met Author and Sixten? Would I be making a crappy visual novel?

THAT would not have been formed.
Riex would not have joined THAT.
Riex would not have been unhappy with THAT.
Riex would not have launched Oi, Hayaku!
ghostlightning would not have started his blog.

All these “what ifs” build on each other’s shoulders. Really, it’s a circle jerk of hypotheticals, and I could ramble in Aozora Loops about the possibilities, but I think that there are some fairly simple chains of events leading from that one post of Jason’s in early 2006 to the aniblogosphere we frolic around in daily as 2008 comes to a close.

I’m not trying to say that I’m the central pillar of the EL aniblogging community (though I might if I were being less serious). I’m just pointing at the fact that Jason Miao set great things in motion, albeit unintentionally.

So I’d like to be the Raigyo to Jason’s white-haired children, and say this:

“Look at the seed you planted in me. Look how well I took care of it.”

I like the baby monsters given birth to by AoMM’s Echidna, and for that, I thank Jason Miao. Awwww yeah, I just went Greek mythology on your asses. What? You want the good ol’ Bible Bitchslap? Fine. Fuckin’ “monotheists.” Well, buckle up and brace for impact because I’m about to e-jaculate all over your keyboards:

Jason Miao is the Virgin Mary to my Jesus Christ, and for that, I thank him.

Hopefully, the above picture and the one right before it help illustrate the differences between Christianity and Greek mythology: Christianity got rid of the furries and taught people to be ego-centric. Who the fuck needs siblings? Not Jesus Christ.

Well, I’d say I’ve thanked Jason Miao enough. *retches*

Now I’d like to thank Kaioshin Sama for giving me the opportunity to give thanks where thanks were due. I can now return to hating Jason Miao to my Heart’s Content!

P.S. YES I AM THE MOTHER-FUCKING ANIBLOG MESSIAH.

P.P.S.

Bin Laden didn’t blow up the projects
It was U Jason
Tell the TRUTH Jason
Miao knocked down the towers
Tell the TRUTH Jason
Miao knocked down the towers

P.P.P.S. IN B4 “TOO SOON”

Does he not know? I’ve been waging this war on my own for years.

Here you can see DS’s original post, annotated by yours truly.

FUCK REVOLUTIONS, I WANT TO LIVE

DS says some big things, and he’s pretty vehement, but personally, I’m not entirely convinced. This is a new stance, and he has just about no experience dealing with bad anime (maybe he can see Haruhi’s shores from his back porch). I, as someone with a long history of battling anime, would prefer it if someone with more dedication were to take command.

I’m not going to say that I am most fit for this role—I know there are haters greater than I—but I would expect someone with at least half as many credentials to step up to the plate (as opposed to someone with none). Without further ado, I present unto you my credentials:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

While Exhibit B is an example of my level-headed approach toward serious topics, it is still a commentary on how fucking bad some shitty anime can be. Read it at least three times—it’s deep.

Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E
Exhibit F
Exhibit G
Exhibit H
Exhibit I

Sometimes, as exhibited by Exhibit I, I can be an concise anime hater.

Exhibit J
Exhibit K
Exhibit L
Exhibit M
Exhibit N
Exhibit O

In before “fuck anime, I want to live”—Exhibit O is srs fkn bsns, and if you take it lightly then you are just one more growth stemming from the cancer that is killing the aniblogosphere and giving a bad name to anime fans everywhere.

Exhibit P
Exhibit Q

Yes, Exhibit Q was, in fact, trolling on my part. Up yours, Owen.

Exhibit R

I stand by Exhibit R to this day.

Exhibit S
Exhibit T

Exhibit T is easily the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

Exhibit U
Exhibit V
Exhibit X
Exhibit Y
Exhibit Z

DS isn’t Kamina, but that’s no reason not to keep rowing. Bad anime is the power and your hatred is a hatred that will—argh, you get the picture.

Of course, rich people stealing from the less-well-off isn’t my biggest problem with the show. It’s less important to me than the fact that the show is Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu-level trash. More on that later—seriously, I need to clear some things up with Mike regarding the merits of shows like these—but I just wanted to get this out of my way. Kicking people out of their rooms and vacations isn’t cool. So what if you’re a sheltered rich girl with expectations? So what if you thought you had a reservation? Taeko can own her mistake. Aoi is not more important than any other person, and this behavior is repulsive.

So much for the perfect girlfriend.

A bit of background: I started watching this show a looooong time ago, maybe a year or so now. It seemed really sweet for a couple episodes and then (my main problem with it) manifested and I put it on indefinite hold. Having sat through all of Nogizaka Haruka’s Shitfest, I decided that it would be an injustice not to finish Ai Yori Aoshi (more on the connection later). So here I am, watching my first episode in who knows how long. Sigh…

Anyway, I’m in the process of planning a pretty big post in my head regarding this show, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, and sexuality. It’ll be ready when it’s ready.

There was no Motteke! Serafuku. Plain and simple.

Oh, also this was lulz.

Cheers!