Does he not know? I’ve been waging this war on my own for years.

Here you can see DS’s original post, annotated by yours truly.

FUCK REVOLUTIONS, I WANT TO LIVE

DS says some big things, and he’s pretty vehement, but personally, I’m not entirely convinced. This is a new stance, and he has just about no experience dealing with bad anime (maybe he can see Haruhi’s shores from his back porch). I, as someone with a long history of battling anime, would prefer it if someone with more dedication were to take command.

I’m not going to say that I am most fit for this role—I know there are haters greater than I—but I would expect someone with at least half as many credentials to step up to the plate (as opposed to someone with none). Without further ado, I present unto you my credentials:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

While Exhibit B is an example of my level-headed approach toward serious topics, it is still a commentary on how fucking bad some shitty anime can be. Read it at least three times—it’s deep.

Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E
Exhibit F
Exhibit G
Exhibit H
Exhibit I

Sometimes, as exhibited by Exhibit I, I can be an concise anime hater.

Exhibit J
Exhibit K
Exhibit L
Exhibit M
Exhibit N
Exhibit O

In before “fuck anime, I want to live”—Exhibit O is srs fkn bsns, and if you take it lightly then you are just one more growth stemming from the cancer that is killing the aniblogosphere and giving a bad name to anime fans everywhere.

Exhibit P
Exhibit Q

Yes, Exhibit Q was, in fact, trolling on my part. Up yours, Owen.

Exhibit R

I stand by Exhibit R to this day.

Exhibit S
Exhibit T

Exhibit T is easily the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

Exhibit U
Exhibit V
Exhibit X
Exhibit Y
Exhibit Z

DS isn’t Kamina, but that’s no reason not to keep rowing. Bad anime is the power and your hatred is a hatred that will—argh, you get the picture.

“I don’t know how to become friends.”
“It’s super simple, Genpou-chan! All you have to do is call my name!“

Great Guardians … it left me feeling like it lacked something integral, something promised by the name. Maybe the whole “great” part. There also weren’t any guardians. There wasn’t a whole lot of anything, in fact. Maybe after twenty-five episodes of shit I was desensitized to such things as pantie shots or cleavage but this time around even those felt scarce. I missed the conflict, I missed the resolution.

Hell, I missed the part where Ryomou forgave Ryofu for fingering her back in season one.

Um, does anyone care about Ryofu dying again? I think I was with this season for about two minutes when I thought Kannu was dying. That made me kind of sad. Then I watched the next episode and she was alive. I think there was a disconnect at that point. So Ryofu going again? Big fucking deal. Maybe Ryomou’s sad because Ryofu promised a flute for their second time but the second time never came.

When I say “Big Success,” I mean that the creators succeeded in creating something vaguely approaching value. By taking MGLN’s stellar premise and themes and applying those to their lame fanservice shit, they leveled up their product. “Big Success” in no way refers to the actual quality of Great Guardians. I’m throwing it into the ever-humongous 1/10 category on MyAnimeList.

I can’t bitch too much, though.

The observant observer might take the time to comment, “what did you expect, dipshit?”

Anyway, one last parting shot before I burn this show from my memory:

What is this—the non-existent wish fulfillment arc for Kimi ga Nozomu Eien?!