Delicious.

This piece of shit had a few things going for it:

1. Drill bullets
2. Drill armor
3. People feeling each other’s weight
4. The hat from Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
5. People shutting up and fighting

I was ready to Disappear into the Summer, but lelangir sucks at improv. Three simple letters—a “w,” a “u,” and a “t”—informed me that either my attempt at humor was, as drmchsr0 might say, a poor imitation of my past self, or that the ‘sphere just wasn’t ready for a Second Ascension.

But what really triggered me to end this sham was the following post from CCY: K-ON! Is a Lot Like a Little Sister. Not because it made me laugh nor because it made me cry, but because it was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Really, Senpai-kun? Really?

In a world where there is so much strife, so much unwarranted competition, such rife capitalism, so much disease, so many religious faggerjacks, and so little money, you’re worrying about K-ON!’s quality?! My bad. He has stopped worrying about K-ON!’s quality.

Actually, I didn’t read the fucking post. Knowing CCY, and knowing his opinion of Lucky Star, I know that reading the post would send me into a frothing fit of fury.

But one thing in the introductory paragraph stood out to me:

Even though I would love to return to the spotlight at the same time as lolikitsune, acting as his most disturbing senpai, the words aren’t flowing yet.

Pictorial evidence, Exhibit A:

Apparently, the “L” in “LK” is the better half.

But now isn’t the time to poke fun of Senpai’s CSS. Who the fuck cares if his text floats all over the place? I sure as hell don’t. The “point” here, as Kero would say, is that CCY thinks I’m making a return to the spotlight. Am I? I don’t even know! But I’ll keep playing this idiotic game as long as you morons keep inflating my ego with your comments, your tweets, your blog posts, your prayers.

So I’m back now? Fuck if I know. I’ll hedge this one to the ends of the earth.

What did you just mouth, Jim? I need to post about anime in order to be back? Ffffffffff. Well, I guess I’ll make a token attempt in order to please Senpai.

Guin Saga: Plus: pretty backgrounds. Con: Lemus. Reminiscent of: Jyu Oh Sei x Shadow Warrior Chronicles. Dropped after one episode.

Hanasakeru Seishounen: Plus: pretty boys. Con: ugly girls. Reminiscent of: Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito (I think it was the big cat on a tropical island). Dropped after five minutes. I couldn’t even make it to the pretty boys =(

Valkyria Chronicles: Plus: short skirts. Con: idiotic characters. Reminiscent of: Violinist of Hamelin. Tentatively watching.

Sengoku Basara: OH MY GOD SHIT’S SO REAL!!

That’s about it for anime.

Oh, and while I’m alive, let’s clear something up for newcomer Mori. Jim, bring up the Twitter.

The good doctor, Moritheil, is none other than moi même: Dr. lolikitsune, with Ph.D. in lolikitean, trolling, and good taste.

In final news: my legendary PR guy is talking to me again?! I doubt I’ve done anything right, so I’m just writing him down as a mindless Watchmen fanboy.

Time for some anibloggerality:

Munto sucks as of episode 7; Kyoto Animation turned the once-intriguing Yumemi into a puddle of moe moe jelly and basically sexified everything. lelangir approved; I just want more Gass. Too bad the guy’s dead because he finished pumping his gas. Har. Har. All he wanted to do was BANG BANG take your akuto. *badabum tshhhhhh*

Clannad After Story’s ending is officially balls, I don’t care what the game-playing purists say. Maybe it’s a good adaptation. A good adaptation of shit is still shit. I’m not saying Clannad’s shit, I’m just saying that this scenario is possible. I do know that the execution viewed objectively was weak, and I do know that the ending felt like Mai Hime 26. Only this time there was no Mashiro-chan to fix things, just a loopy plot that somehow had something to do with some nonsensical dreamscape that just didn’t make sense. Also Fuuko is Fffffffffffffffffffuuko. There—you got it, the invective I promised not to deliver.

Anyway, since that’s all the anime I’ve watched recently, I guess I’ll move onto juicier topics like my life. (I’m just too squeezable for my own good. Some might even call me ‘fruity.’)

Yesterday I helped SAKI relocate her bunnies to a new home, if you know what I mean. You probably know what I mean because I mean what I’m saying, and words are words. Which have meanings. Yeah. There was lots of bittersweetness for various reasons, but mostly it was a good day. I read the first chapter of Twilight whilst lingering at SAKI’s place and I must say, it’s a Shaft production waiting to happen. The sickening overabundance of adverbity is not so dissimilar from Shaft’s overabundance of Photoshop filters—meaningless, trite, a disguise that obfuscates none of the shittiness beneath the underneath.

Ate some delicious curry chicken katsu for lunch (apparently, SAKI’s family is more weeaboo FUCKING AWESOME even than I, and as such eats Japanese foods with more regularity than I—which is to say, more than once a year at anime conventions), which was accompanied by several doses of “oh my god I need to not laugh my food across the table.” I hummed some Loituma and got someone else at the table to struggle against the urge to laugh food across the table, and just now I broke the limit of cluttery anti-flow a lolikit can inject into a single sentence and it just keeps going oh my god I’m going to turn into Faulkner at this rate can you believe it? Tick-Tock.

But enough about yesterday—which concluded with a slew of torrenting and taquitos—and onto today. Because apparently, I’m just blogging my life here now or something.

This morning, I attended my philosophy lecture (History of Modern Philosophy, as you might recall from my course list; currently we are studying some B.S. Ethics), and for the first time in a long time I doodled something in my notebook that wasn’t abominable. Well, it might be abominable, but I was not abominated by it. Maybe my standards have fallen. Maybe I was just happy.

After that, I met up with a high school friend back from college on spring break. This was immensely pleasurable, as I missed this friend dearly. She noted that I was more comfortable in my outgoingness than I used to be. This may be the result of my time stuck in a cubicle last semester, or it might be the result of some decking action.

Speaking of decks, could I get some WOWers to level for me? Hurr hurr hurr.

I ate lots of pizza in the company of good friends and then I went home to mom to shit out half my fullness and sleep off the other half. Finally I made it back to the dorms, a place I’d been avoiding for a week as I tended my cat for my out-of-town father, unpacked ten gallons of clothing and damp towels, thought briefly about the fact that I hadn’t watched anime in weeks and how glad I was that I had no idea what the fuck was going on in the aniblogosphere, discovered that ghostlightning’s illustrious blog had attained the coveted 100th post, cursed my fate for now knowing some of what was going on in the aniblogosphere, and subsequently shut myself out of my dormroom, sans computer, in a frantic search for SAKI, who had similarly secluded herself away from a computer.

Apparently, she was in the library stacks on campus, in the deepest and darkest corner of the trollbooth, drawing ambiguously gay porn.

… I love my life.

EDIT: yes, yes, I’ll post her drawings, up in the Rule 34 section, once I feel giving. Right now, I’m not sharing. Use comes before generosity. Now to go fap to my potentially female self…

[canned introduction] Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! [/canned introduction]

As DiGiKerot pointed out, there’s a lot wrong with this new season of Maria-sama ga Miteru. This isn’t limited to the OP song change, or to the running in the OP sequence. This episode sees the *gasp* introduction of apparently heterosexual men! In my Hanadera Academy? Obviously it’s more likely than I thought—I would have said the chances were 0%.

Spiral power? “Your sexy lesbian is a sexy lesbian that can pierce the gay man’s gayness?” I don’t even know!

Anyway, this episode sees us approximately one year after the events in episode one of season one. The school festival is coming up, and Lillian Jougakuen’s Yamayurikai is once more holding a play. Once more, the boys from sister gay school Hanadera Gakuen are participating. Once more, there’s some tall, dark, and bishoujo girl bitch who hates men and wants out. Once more, Yumi is given the task of making everything work out.

By the way, Kanako. You want Yumi to remain an angel?

Protip: People die when they’re killed.

Crazy Sachiko, in classic Crazy Sachiko style, informs the actors that the girls and boys will be switching roles. Well, she’s gotten better about gender issues in the last year (remember her moaning about how evil men were?), but this kind of blunt trolling isn’t very attractive. At first Yumi is displeased with her onee-sama’s decision, but then she decides to take it like a good little walking vagina when said onee-sama melts her with her eyes.

Shirukii is also on board with Sachiko’s “meaningful” expressions.

“Rape is imminent.”

In between the Yamayurikai practicing the play and Shimako training her new dog, Yumi has some flashbacks of when she became Crazy Sachiko’s petite soeur. We get some nice piano version of Pastel Pure that almost makes up for the new OP, and… Yoshino suggests that Yumi have a nice anniversary with her onee-sama. I’m starting to see eye-to-eye with IcyStorm here; Yoshino rocks. “Nice anniversary?” Roses, chocolates, a fancy dinner, and a hotel room.

The fanfiction writes itself!

In any event, Crazy Sachiko clearly remembers what day is coming up. She’s got her rape mask on.

Later on, Yumi and Touko are having some problems with their relationship. Thankfully Yumi has learned the lessons taught by Rainy Blue and confronts Touko directly, making a big fuss in front of the Yamayurikai’s sex chapel.

As the school watches in horror, Yumi trills “Ano (Tou)ko wo Rape.”

Now that Maria-sama ga Miteru is current again, I should really do some YFR fic of it, huh?

The stage was set. The metools painted a rainbow over Lillian’s entryway and the Yamayurikai took to the sky in kaiawase formation. Who will profit? Who will get sexxings? Who will make my next blog post funny? So many questions, and a whole another week until episode two…

(The emo girl was emo, but such is the lot in life for those who fall in love with DEAD PEOPLE WHO WERE KILLED. OH EM GEE.)

Fuck Yesssssssssss

Toward the end of the episode, we are informed that Rosa Gigantea is coming back for the school festival. The possibilities are endless. Personally, I’m hoping for the “Sei surprise-sexes Yumi while Yumi is waiting for Sachiko to meet her for their after-festival anniversary-celebratory make-out session” route. Other lovely possibilities include a threesome, an overly-dramatic scene with humongous sexual tension, and a tennis match.

Other coverage by:
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Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! Maybe I’m a lesbian, by Yuki Seto, on sale at doujin markets near you.

I don’t like the new OP song but that’s just because I’m a stickler for tradition. When Undine came on in Episode 26 of Aria the Natural, I came fucktons of omobuckets. When they got rid of Pastel Pure, I cried more rivers than Noe can throw chickens into. Other thoughts on the OP include, but are not limited to:

• “the cake is lie!”
• “magical girl lyrical fukuzawa?!”
• “needs moar Rosa Gigantea (and not the Shimako variety)”
• “FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES”
• “キター！”

Fuck yes fuck yes Crazy Sachiko is back!!

The second best character Of All Time is Ogasawara Sachiko, AKA “Crazy Sachiko” as dubbed by my senpai and hero, Lovely Kitsune. I say second best because Fukuzawa Yumi (ribbons, funny faces) is younger, and thusly a more acceptable lust-target. Fuck yeah lolis.

Back to Sachiko… why is she so awesome? Nobody knows. All anyone knows is that she just is.

I mean, shit man. She has a “Sa” in her name (さ). Look at that mother-fucker right there. Where have you seen that before? I’ll tell you the fuck where. Remember this guy? Shit yeah you remember that guy. Coincidence? I think not. Sa-chan does not forgive and Sa-chan does not forget. Sa-chan is a psychobitch; expect to not go on dates with her. Did I mention she likes tea? Fuck.

It’s like a damn waterfall down there when I think of her, SHIT.

- question for the peanut gallery: if one can “come harder than omo,” can one “come down more gracefully than IcyStorm” (who orgasms while watching anime approximately once per episode per open IM window yet still functions in society)? -

Sorry for getting derailed. At least “Sachiko” is a better name than “Darry” and all that. Oh and her nose is more sexual. But I digress… back to the episode.

Waitaminute…

I’m going to go download a different version of the episode once my eyes stop being the new waterfall.

In part to commemorate this resurrection, and in part to answer lelangir’s sexual advances, I have posted a new story on said satellite site. It’s a 4-koma, and it’s NSFW. Check it out.

Go check it out for great justice.

Right now it seems I’m prioritizing my work on this over more serious writing, so please reward my efforts with helpful feedback :)

You can ask Jason Miao for a sign.

So yeah. Please, download this and test it out. Even if you’ve played previous versions. There’s a lot of new content, save games from previous versions should still work, and Skip Mode should remember what text you read in previous versions (it does for me).

Download whichever build floats your platform:
Mac: .zip, 7.2mb
Linux: .bz2, 3.9mb
Windows: .zip, 4.6mb

Changelog :: v0.04

==== Endings ====
+ 2 bad endings
+ 1 good ending
==== Characters ====
+ Owen (introduced outside of bad end)
+ Baka-Raptor (professor)
+ Os (professor)
+ DarkMirage (professor)
+ Scott (student)
+ Mike (student)
+ Riex (professor)
+ Impz (professor)
+ lKnight (professor)
==== Gameplay ====
+ 3 menus
+ Day 1 has a date
~ updated concluding notes
~ updated tutorial
==== Contents ====
+ 3600 words (total is over 9000 now)

If you do either of the things he mentions, you’re a pedophile. I’m a pedophile.

Anime bloggers featured/referenced thus far:

Baka-Raptor (male)
CCY (male)
CJ (female)
DarkMirage (male)
hashihime (mentioned)
Impz (trap)
Jason Miao (male)
Jeff Lawson (mentioned)
lKnight (male)
lolikitsune (male)
Marmot (female)
Mike (male)
Omo (female, genderbent)
Os (male)
Owen S. (male)
Riex (stuffed animal)
Shirukii (mentioned)

Again—I don’t have character art, and I likely won’t ever if someone doesn’t contribute it. There will be credits. There probably won’t be payment. I want this to be an open “resource” for the aniblogosphere. So that people can say “I see what you did thar” and make their own VNs. Yeah.

Art? Contribute it.
Music? Contribute it.

I’m focusing on writing, and throwing in cop-out backgrounds where I can.

Thank you for your time!

Now for some random whoredom:

• a post of mine has been published on Oi, Hayaku! I’m linking this not only to get you guys to read my post, but also to get Riex to see this post. He’s a lazy fellow who only checks trackbacks. Lamer.

• lolikitean is now a word. ghostlightning continues to rock my socks.

But it is also extremely heterosexist.

I don’t usually like making these kinds of assumptions (they tend to fall in the same category as Paranoia Agent’s EPIC FAIL ending of “omg people kill themselves exclusively due to paranoia”), but does anyone else think this might have something to do with Japan’s negative population growth? I remember reading some post(s) somewhere about how an unprecedented percentage of h-manga, etc. not only had ejaculation inside the birth canal, but portrayed it in a positive light in recent times, and that this might be due to national pressure to inspire more pregnancies.

If “things like that” (referring to Jin and Daitetsu being in a homo relationship) “do sometimes happen,” then that’s two fewer impregnated females, right?

Discuss.

Actually, don’t discuss. Go make babies with Japanese school girls. The world doesn’t have enough people in it.

Some highlights (highlight to read, har har):

P.S. I’m only partially trolling. Also, the French rock.

It’s an opportunity to reinforce ignorance.

Reverse Thieves read Kodomo no Jikan and Scott reads Yaoi. If you want a lolicon manga that touches on taboos but delivers a touching and meaningful story nonetheless, KnJ is not the right way to go. Sure it’s got some DRAMA in it but it’s mostly comedy and fanservice. It’s not going to convert lolicon haters. Similarly, manga chock-full of gay rape isn’t going to sit well with someone who hates… gay rape.

I’m not saying it’s bad to challenge your dislikes. I recently managed to make myself enjoy avocados and mushrooms, and I wouldn’t have come this far if I hadn’t forced myself. But my attitude approaching mushrooms wasn’t “fuck, I hate mushrooms… I really fucking hate mushrooms… fuck, I really fucking hate mushrooms… maybe there’s some chance I’ll like this mushroom more than the last, but it’s extremely unlikely… FUCK I fucking hate mushrooms.” It was more like, “hmm, I hate mushrooms—but I want to change that. Other people like this shit. Other people enjoy this shit. Why do I hate it?”

So while eating the vile fungus I taught myself to contemplate why exactly I disliked mushrooms. Once I figured out that there was no good reason, I began liking them more. Same with avocado.

Same with anime.

I used to be horribly prejudiced against any show that featured space. So much so that I refused to watch more than five episodes of Cowboy Bebop, back a few years ago when it was within my grasp. After a while, I came to terms with the fact that my hatred was irrational, and I overcame it, and all was well with Infinte Ryvius, Starship Operators, etc., through today’s Tytania.

So I think that Scott’s challenge is flawed.

The approach is all wrong, in my most humble opinion.

But all this is backstory.

Here we get to the interesting part: Scott’s blog post is, for lack of a better word, wanting. He calls rape a horrible plot device (which I disagree with). He says that yaoi can only be a guilty pleasure no matter who’s watching (which I disagree with, as someone who enjoys (without guilt!!) just about any romance, regardless of who the participants are). He blames his prejudice on his upbringing (again, I disagree—humans are free to feel however they want about whatever they want, and one’s upbringing is merely a nest from which to soar after spreading one’s wings). These are three big errors. His biggest error? He has his comments closed.

That’s right. If you want to weigh in on the stuff he writes, you need to resort to pre-WWW technology (e-mail).

There are other people who do this, but it’s not so much a problem there because their sites are less interesting. (j/k Author, <3 u) My main issue here is that Scott says interesting things, things that beg for discussion, and he shuts that discussion down before it can even come to be. But, I’m a whore. So I let him ram his method into my ass, and I e-mailed him.

Below is my e-mail. Scott had a fairly negative reaction to it, saying that I acted like an asshole, so for the sake of clarity I have identified all the contents of my e-mail as either me being an asshole or me being something else.

Now, the only two places that can feasibly be construed as me being an asshole are circled. I sheepishly admit that I did not address my latter properly (it should have been “Dear Scott:”, and I opted for a more friendly approach). I also proudly admit that I didn’t use euphemisms to cover up my opinion of his statement regarding the viability of rape as a plot device. Both of these circled spots are marginally rude. Scott, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.

And now, apologies out of the way, I’m done with being sorry.

I’m not going to paste Scott’s e-mail here (my PR guy taught me not to do shit like that), but I will discuss its contents.

First, he says that I have a bit of an attitude problem. I’d say that that’s not news to me, but it actually is. You’re talking about the guy being inappropriately revered for laying the verbal smackdown on random e-passersby. I have a huge attitude problem (yes I am compensating for something). The other shocking thing that Scott says is that he doesn’t appreciate my attitude. The man loves Kodomo no Jikan and he doesn’t like my attitude? Shocking!

He then gives me advice: he tells me not to call people idiots (something I didn’t do in my e-mail) and he also tells me not to tell people that I find their websites boring. Well, fuck. I can’t tell him that his website is boring to me, but he can tell me that my sexuality is abhorrent to him?

He goes on to say that he disagrees with me (without any discourse) and finishes by telling me that I shouldn’t bother with that second e-mail, oh and by the way he’s blocking me on Twitter and putting my e-mail address on his blacklist. I thought that he was a pretty censor-loving guy when I discovered that his comments were closed, but this is straight-up self-delusion and isolation from reality! Refusing communication altogether, boxing oneself up…

Scott of The Anime Almanac is an adversary of freedom.

Scott of The Anime Almanac is Public Enemy #2.

P.S. his post was the best possible advertisement for Gerard & Jacques. I will make it my new goal in life to go out, purchase, and consume as many volumes of this masterpiece as I possibly can.