That core, that shit-of-the-shit: Ano Natsu de Matteru.

Some people go through life noting what gives them hope. Some people commemorate what restores their faith in humanity. Or in institutions, countries, television. In anime. Others do the opposite. We call them pessimists, or in layman’s terms, “the worst.” Before I’m accused of being a pessimist for saying that Ano Natsu refreshes all the loathing I carry for anime en general, I should note that I’m not usually bent on digging up the horrible things in life.

This is just that bad.

Mainly I just like to hate on the things idiots like. If it helps you to think of me as a troll, feel free. I’m mainly penning this in order to have an “eligible post in March” for the stupid Aniblog Tourney. It seems they learned their lesson last time and invited me this year. Popularity contests are the most important thing in the world, so I care a lot about winning.

So I’m here to plant my flag in the 2012 ABT, and I’m doing it with everyone’s favorite little poopwreck Ano Natsu. Don’t know what a poopwreck is? If you’re as mindless as Ano Natsu’s Onegai-Sensei-ripping-off “creative” staff, you’ll need an explanation…

poopwreck, n.: Like a trainwreck, but instead of a train (which goes fast and looks cool) going off a set of tracks, it entails a shit (which doesn’t move and smells like rotten ass) going off target. Whenever you witness it, you know you should commit suicide, because either it’s yours (in which case your ass is probably ineligible for LK cock) or it’s someone else’s (and you’re the creepiest fuck in the world).

So where does Ano Natsu go wrong, you might ask.

What is its crime?

I could say the obvious thing—that it’s downhill from the start, and that it’s unwatchable 2.5 minutes in—but I’m going to go farther. I’ve been largely silent lately (earning myself the title “lapsed”), and I feel I owe my readers, fans, and forlorn lovers a little something special. A real post. With real thoughts. Written in real words. As a bonus, I’ll leave sarcasm behind for the rest of this post. I think I overdid it last post. I got to the point where even I didn’t know whether I liked Thermae Romae or not. So just this once, as a reward both to you and to myself, I’m going to be straight with you.

Majime na Lolikit
• The moment I knew Ano Natsu was shit came in its second episode.
(For the record, I’ve watched eight of them, so none of this “judging a book by its cover” bullshit.)

Allow me to describe the scene: Kanna (the bitch), Kaitou (the pussy), Ichika (the slut), and Kaitou’s older sister are sitting around a table. The older sister is leaving for a while, and this means that Kaitou and Ichika are going to be living alone for a while. Kanna interrogates Kaitou, largely because she’s the bitch, inquiring into his plans with regard to participating in nightly Ichika buffets.

A master of motherly rhetoric, Kanna says something like this of Kaitou:

“Just because he’s living with a pretty senpai, it’s not like he’ll get up to any funny business or funny business, or funny business, right?” (sic. some fansubbers or something)

She and the older sister glare at Kaitou, repeat that “right” a few times. Ichika is grinning awkwardly, and Kaitou’s spinning into a defensive flurry befitting the pussy. He denies all implied accusations and promises not to violate his foxy guest. Kanna and his older sister say they’re relieved, but are clearly still suspicious.

Let’s examine this moment.

Where is Ichika’s agency?

No, let me know when you find it, I’m interested.

… what was that?

You don’t know where Ichika’s agency went?

Well holy fucking shit you’re right! It’s gone! And who took it away from her? Was it a bad rapist? Was it an evil misogynist? No: it was her “supporters,” the other two women at the table. Along with Ichika’s agency, they’re also robbing Kaitou of his individuality (prejudicially assuming that he’s a violator) and me of my will to watch the show. By putting the abstinence onus on the guy, and not saying a word to the girl, they are totally disempowering her and validating any idea the guy might have that the girl is just sex object—one not to touch, yes, but one nonetheless. One that couldn’t, you know, say “no.”

And one that couldn’t say “yes.”

Listen, I’m all for telling guys that it’s not good to rape people. And maybe Kaitou needs to hear this, though he really doesn’t seem like a rapist to me. But the moment the dialogue around sex excludes either interested party, it becomes a reactionary bullshit fest. The choice is put in Kaitou’s hands. He can choose to have sex with Ichika, though Kanna is counting on him not doing that. He can choose to not have sex with Ichika, and that will make him a good person. She has no choice in the matter. It’s being made for her by Kanna and Kaitou’s sister, and that’s not how sexual choices should be made. It’s her body. It’s her life.

Ano Natsu is by no means original, and that applies in this department as well. We see this kind of conservative crap in tons of anime. There are countless cultural norms and mores that entail guys being warned not to force themselves on girls. These norms turn the girl into a listless slab of meat. “Good luck, Ichika. I really hope Kaitou won’t rape you, ’cause we all know you’ve got no say in the matter.”

But Dr. lolikit, you might object, it’s just anime.

Anime is culture. Culture is education. We learn lessons from every thought we consume. I hope you learn the lesson I did from Ano Natsu (that it’s shit), but there are other lessons one could learn from it. I have friends who like this show, friends who have fallen victim to it. It’s not just that moron Hanners. And even Hanners could do to understand the piss he’s drinking. I’m a benevolent guy.

Is it too much to ask for a show to signal some forward thinking, some progressive attitudes toward sexuality? Is it too much to ask for a show to not rob its female characters of agency over their own bodies?

If your answer is yes, you’re a failed human being.

And to all failed human beings, I say this: anime will always be an abhorrently flawed genre so long as Ano Natsu-level bullshit runs rampant within its boundaries.

Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! Maybe I’m a lesbian, by Yuki Seto, on sale at doujin markets near you.

I don’t like the new OP song but that’s just because I’m a stickler for tradition. When Undine came on in Episode 26 of Aria the Natural, I came fucktons of omobuckets. When they got rid of Pastel Pure, I cried more rivers than Noe can throw chickens into. Other thoughts on the OP include, but are not limited to:

• “the cake is lie!”
• “magical girl lyrical fukuzawa?!”
• “needs moar Rosa Gigantea (and not the Shimako variety)”
• “FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES”
• “キター！”

Fuck yes fuck yes Crazy Sachiko is back!!

The second best character Of All Time is Ogasawara Sachiko, AKA “Crazy Sachiko” as dubbed by my senpai and hero, Lovely Kitsune. I say second best because Fukuzawa Yumi (ribbons, funny faces) is younger, and thusly a more acceptable lust-target. Fuck yeah lolis.

Back to Sachiko… why is she so awesome? Nobody knows. All anyone knows is that she just is.

I mean, shit man. She has a “Sa” in her name (さ). Look at that mother-fucker right there. Where have you seen that before? I’ll tell you the fuck where. Remember this guy? Shit yeah you remember that guy. Coincidence? I think not. Sa-chan does not forgive and Sa-chan does not forget. Sa-chan is a psychobitch; expect to not go on dates with her. Did I mention she likes tea? Fuck.

It’s like a damn waterfall down there when I think of her, SHIT.

- question for the peanut gallery: if one can “come harder than omo,” can one “come down more gracefully than IcyStorm” (who orgasms while watching anime approximately once per episode per open IM window yet still functions in society)? -

Sorry for getting derailed. At least “Sachiko” is a better name than “Darry” and all that. Oh and her nose is more sexual. But I digress… back to the episode.

Waitaminute…

I’m going to go download a different version of the episode once my eyes stop being the new waterfall.

Owen and I were having a heated discussion following my reading of and commenting on his latest post—one about the unforgivably terrible TV series “Lucky‚òÜStar.” Eventually, the conversation degenerated into this:

[...]
5:50:54 PM lolikitsune: [...] different strokes for different folks
5:50:54 PM Owen S: yeah
5:50:58 PM lolikitsune: for example you like lucky star
5:50:59 PM lolikitsune: i don’t ;)
5:51:08 PM Owen S: you wrote that you did
5:51:10 PM Owen S: I checked the archives
5:51:11 PM lolikitsune: ?!
5:51:12 PM Owen S: you fucking liar
5:51:16 PM lolikitsune: that was SARCASM
5:51:19 PM lolikitsune: you fucking DIPSHIT
5:51:21 PM Owen S: under your rake-star category
5:51:26 PM Owen S: FUCK YOU YOU TSUNDERE LIAR
5:51:29 PM Owen S: FUCK YOU
5:51:31 PM lolikitsune: are you ever going to pass Reading Comprehension?!
5:51:33 PM Owen S: YOU SAID YOU LIKED EPISODE 11
5:51:35 PM Owen S: SERIOUSLY, TOO
5:51:43 PM Owen S: IT WAS A MAJIME NA LOLIKIT THING TOO
5:51:44 PM Owen S: FUCK YOU
5:51:45 PM Owen S: FUCK
5:51:46 PM Owen S: YOU

I checked my archives like Owen suggested, and lo and behold: there it was!

Lucky Star 11—alright. Alright. I’m sorry. There it is. I’m admitting my mistake, just as predicted by the comment-leavers on my first Lucky Star post. Yes, I enjoy the show. I skip the OP every time and enjoy the jokes, and the dad is awesome. Kona’s dad that is. And yeah, I mean it. He’s awesome. It’s always the dads—Bleach, Shuffle!, Tsubasa Chronicle, Romeo x Juliet… it’s always the dads.

It makes sense that this went unnoticed and that I managed to keep up my Lucky Star hating thing. At the time I made this post, 100% of my fans thought this blog was dead. I was on hiatus on ANO and I wasn’t active in IRC. I had previously declared my intention to leave the aniblogosphere. Except that… wait… is that some Owen in the comments? It is!

Alright. *

I can admit my mistakes.

I can accept that the gig’s up.

Yeah, I liked Lucky Star. No, I won’t concede on the points made in my landmark Lucky Star post. They still stand. Just, Lucky Star turned out to be enjoyable. The comedy was decent and the slice of life aspect—while I won’t agree 100% with Owen on the count—was present and pleasant. Kyoto Animation is still a gaggle of prostitutes, Ayu is still an impossibility, Haruhi is still total shit. And I won’t apologize.

Lucky Star was enjoyable. For Minoru and his Lucky Channel. For Minoru and his ED song and dance routines. For the non-self-referential parodies that were funny. For the little tidbits that made me smile.

* That’s not fucking alright!!!

Owen, you adorable fuck, you played me. You took me like some kind of passive object and stuck your prodding devices into my beproddation sockets. You knew all along… you knew all along that I liked Lucky Star. And yet you refer to arguments of mine—that I probably didn’t make! And yet you refer to the critic me—who probably doesn’t exist! You fooled me, and you fooled me well. Somehow, reinforced by your insistence that I was wrong about Lucky Star, my absent-minded trolling metamorphosed into a conviction that I loathed Lucky Star, that you knew I loathed it, that I loathed it, that you knew that, that I sucked at defending my points, that I hated Lucky Star and that maybe that was because I say the same thing over and over again with decreasing levels of coherences?!

Look.

The point is: don’t do that shit.

Don’t fuck with me. I’ll fuck you back and you’ll learn to fear it. I’m not even legal yet, you know. I’ll make you the perpetrator. I’ll make you suffer. I’ll tarnish your family name for generations. Just. Just remember that. I know I’m kind of slow sometimes… okay, maybe extremely slow… but that does not give you an okay to screw with me! I internalize stuff easily, you know!!

Anyway.

You win. You fucking win, okay? Just. Just leave me alone. T_T

So yeah, I’m too lazy to mess with the plugin’s CSS stuff and so I will not be using the plugin.

When I first told Shirukii that I’d be reviving notdotq by no date later than April 1st, he reacted with “that’ll be awesome, even if it’s an obvious April Fool’s joke” or something like that. I’m paraphrasing. Anyway, after Shirukii said that, I knew it was to be—I would reopen notdotq before April Fool’s, and then I would close it on April Fool’s. And it would be lulz.

Unfortunately, things did not go just as planned. For one thing, I was up late watching KimiKiss and putting the finishing touches on my Dreams of the Quill April Fool’s.

While wandering around the stark-save-for-Astley landscape of Youtube and signing up to be a Virgle Pioneer I remembered that I had yet to do anything lulz on this site. I put up a quick and sloppy announcement of my intentions to leave. It was fail (like, as Owen and tj han might argue, everything I do) and kinda of disappointing, even to me. My post had no impact, especially thanks to its stepping stone—the drama with Owen—being removed from under it just on time for the occasion (and for the occasion, too, but how convoluted am I supposed to make my sentences?). Upon waking up, I knew I had to up the ante somehow. So I made a solemn declaration of my undying love for Haruhi.

Only to remember, a couple hours later, that shit, that was my April Fool’s last year!

So yeah, talk about fail. I really outdid myself this time.

At the very least, though, I can pride myself in my April Fool’s on DotQ—a fake installment of my current story; an installment, I might add, that featured the character based off Jason Miao being v&.