I was ready to Disappear into the Summer, but lelangir sucks at improv. Three simple letters—a “w,” a “u,” and a “t”—informed me that either my attempt at humor was, as drmchsr0 might say, a poor imitation of my past self, or that the ‘sphere just wasn’t ready for a Second Ascension.

But what really triggered me to end this sham was the following post from CCY: K-ON! Is a Lot Like a Little Sister. Not because it made me laugh nor because it made me cry, but because it was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Really, Senpai-kun? Really?

In a world where there is so much strife, so much unwarranted competition, such rife capitalism, so much disease, so many religious faggerjacks, and so little money, you’re worrying about K-ON!’s quality?! My bad. He has stopped worrying about K-ON!’s quality.

Actually, I didn’t read the fucking post. Knowing CCY, and knowing his opinion of Lucky Star, I know that reading the post would send me into a frothing fit of fury.

But one thing in the introductory paragraph stood out to me:

Even though I would love to return to the spotlight at the same time as lolikitsune, acting as his most disturbing senpai, the words aren’t flowing yet.

Pictorial evidence, Exhibit A:

Apparently, the “L” in “LK” is the better half.

But now isn’t the time to poke fun of Senpai’s CSS. Who the fuck cares if his text floats all over the place? I sure as hell don’t. The “point” here, as Kero would say, is that CCY thinks I’m making a return to the spotlight. Am I? I don’t even know! But I’ll keep playing this idiotic game as long as you morons keep inflating my ego with your comments, your tweets, your blog posts, your prayers.

So I’m back now? Fuck if I know. I’ll hedge this one to the ends of the earth.

What did you just mouth, Jim? I need to post about anime in order to be back? Ffffffffff. Well, I guess I’ll make a token attempt in order to please Senpai.

Guin Saga: Plus: pretty backgrounds. Con: Lemus. Reminiscent of: Jyu Oh Sei x Shadow Warrior Chronicles. Dropped after one episode.

Hanasakeru Seishounen: Plus: pretty boys. Con: ugly girls. Reminiscent of: Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito (I think it was the big cat on a tropical island). Dropped after five minutes. I couldn’t even make it to the pretty boys =(

Valkyria Chronicles: Plus: short skirts. Con: idiotic characters. Reminiscent of: Violinist of Hamelin. Tentatively watching.

Sengoku Basara: OH MY GOD SHIT’S SO REAL!!

That’s about it for anime.

Oh, and while I’m alive, let’s clear something up for newcomer Mori. Jim, bring up the Twitter.

The good doctor, Moritheil, is none other than moi même: Dr. lolikitsune, with Ph.D. in lolikitean, trolling, and good taste.

In final news: my legendary PR guy is talking to me again?! I doubt I’ve done anything right, so I’m just writing him down as a mindless Watchmen fanboy.

on may 7th, I posted about ARIA

Yesterday, Baka-Raptor called me the Troll King:

This inspired me to make the above graph, since like, I’ve been playing too many card games in Physics lately. At the expense of paying attention. Of course. But I digress. I always imagined Owen as the queen to my king, but recently he’s been less of a troll and more of an asshat, so you can see his downward trend. Baka-Raptor, on the other hand, has just perfected a new technique, furthering his ascent toward dipfaggerism trollish greatness.

I’m totally jealous of it.

Hisatsu: Maul Comment

Baka-Raptor has become an Censorship-Raptor, and that’s perfectly okay because he’s gotta be one of those enlightened few who realize that there are only ever three reasons for doing anything: great justice, lulz, and spinal reflexes. Knowing Baka-Raptor and knowing his style and how he rolls, he’s clearly doing it for the lulz. Censorship is only bad if it’s done for great justice, so I can forgive him.

I mean, I can forgive him the censorship.

But I won’t forgive him for trumping me. I’m well known for trolling the shit out of my own comments. And yet. I have never edited anyone else’s comments. I’ve come to the conclusion that, as a counter-measure, I must immerse myself in renewed study of trollnomics. Perhaps by raising aggregate trolling equilibrium one notch, or perhaps by shifting a couple degrees up on my Lulz Possibility Frontier, I can resume my role of Troll Ace.

Of course, I won’t pursue education all on my lonesome. I’ll share some of my soon-to-be infinite knowledge with you my readers. Enjoy.

if the trolling is lame, Mike doesn’t like it. and yet, it becomes easier for me to supply it! once again I find myself dealing with scarcity…

Totally off-topic, but it seems like Daijoubu Dango is a magnet that attracts my best comments. Seriously, take a look at that second link, at that beauty. It’s got as many layers of potential meaning as Lain.

if overall troll levels (troll sub 1) are increased, value of trolling goes down (see: lulz %). however, if overall troll levels remain constant (the natural rate of trolling) and troll demand increases, more people are tickled pink by my lulz (value of trolling goes up)

Alright, I’m done being a dick for right now. Time to share the best thing I’ve ever made:

If someone wants to color that / make banners / fap, go ahead. It is delicious caek. Anyway, I think I’ll leave off with a bit of metametabloggery. What follows is a quote from anime|otaku.

He is conventional in his blogging because it’s what he excels at. Daniel doesn’t mind repetition, and he’s moderately successful (look at all those comments!), so why does he need to change? I disagree with the fact that Daniel wants to be freer, though. He’s a very free guy, and writing like the literary critic he’s training to be is I believe what he feels to be the best for him.

Now, what he’s saying on an analytical level is less important than what he’s saying on a categorical level. What we see here is Mike—Mike the reader, Mike the writer, Mike the intellectual—doing something that only crappy trolls somewhat like myself do: metablogging. And that is the closest approximation to the desired results of the wonders of /i/ :: epic lulz.