we're finally notdotq anymore

lolikappa’s retrospective into the future brought to my attention the fact that lelangir is going to have been hit by a car this year. A suspicious comment of ghostlightning’s on GRSI made me think: maybe the good’ol bansheeelectro has insider info on these events!

Everyone knows otou-san is actually ghostlightning, since ghostlightning is now otou-san!

I did some sleuth work—namely, I went into WRL’s admin panel using digiboy’s account—and I found the following draft (DRAFT!) in the ancient fucker’s post queue.

Proof positive.

This is all part of a ghastly plan!

In early February, ghostlightning will announce the next meatspace get-together for the FAB. lelangir, for whatever reason (probably not in the cloud, hidden deep in ghostlightning’s personal files), will be on the island, and he’ll join them.

Don’t join them, lelangir!

It’s a trap!

You know what they say about self-fulfilling prophecy?

The archetypical trio.

I took it upon myself to check out the first episode of “educational” anime Chu-Bra after reading about it on Chocolate Syrupy Waffles blog. The screenshots seemed titillating and the descriptive jabs hinted at aspects of “so-bad-it’s-good.” Too bad I missed the memo about this show’s characters being in the seventh grade.

I deleted the episode in such a hurry that I wasn’t even able to take screenshots. The above is pilfered directly from the aforelinked blog post (thanks, Jubbz!), and is used here only for illustrative purposes.

For the uninformed, Chu-Bra is a show about a chick in the seventh (7!!) grade with tits as large as her malformed anime head. She and her asshole troll classmate from elementary school decide to stalk the class cum dumpster, only to discover that said cum dumpster isn’t a cum dumpster at all but an underwear beta tester! They befriend her, and she gropes them.

The moral of the story seems to be that if a seventh grader looks and acts like a prostitute, she isn’t one.

… riiiiight.

Anyhoo, I am dropping this show like the train-planes dropped cubes of bombs in Casshern. Good riddance.

In this last week, I have been berated on several occasions by several people. They clamor for more activity on ¬.Q. They say that there are a million people out there desperately sucking on the RSS straw, seeking any drop of lolikitean trollogic, any drop of anime-lampooning humor.

Let’s face it: Baka-Raptor does it better than I.

Funny thing is that this past weekend, I was Baka-Raptor. Long story, and one I don’t think I’ll tell here. If I start talking about this particular group of my meatspace friends, I may end up exposing various embarrassing stories about anime conventions and the dreams of jizzing on men’s faces that are the stuff of such conventions. What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?

Clearly, you have never been to a convention.

ANYWAY—I come here to deliver some words. I know for a fact that my friends, being the drillsluts they are, enjoy exaggeration and hyperbole and various other redundant nouns all meaning the same thing. The word “epic” is rampant in their vocabulary. This is to say that I have a hard time trusting them. Me? A million fans? Last I checked, though the aniblogosphere had grown considerably, a million was still pushing it. And that’s presupposing that the entire sphere likes me.

But, despite all my True Knowledge, despite knowing that my friends exaggerate, I am posting here: there are no millions at the RSS teat, but I know there are at least five of you out there waiting with bated fingertips for my metaphor-mixing magics.

With a respectful nod toward those who would rather see me never stir my grave, I shall now announce my intentions:

I, loliknowimtsundere, shall henceforth return to posting on ¬.Q.

This is a new year’s resolution, bitches, so you know it’s true. Bitches.

Toodles!

I get on Twitter to mention that I’ve made some progress on National Novel Writing Month, and I see all these tweets: OEG this, OEG that. My first thought goes to Original English … Games? But there seems to be something about flaming.

I like flames.

These guys are the Queen’s bollocks. I love them. They write run-on sentences and don’t afraid of anything. They compare themselves to volcanoes—you know who else did that? Kamina. Eat your heart out, TTGL fans.

Anyway, the mission is clear: these pleasant individuals wish to stamp out the “incorrect” usage of the term “otaku” in the EL aniblogosphere by publicly shaming bad animebloggers who “incorrectly” dub themselves “otaku.” A noble goal. I love crusaders, and the conviction and vitriol these guys pack remind me of my days spent raging against Lucky Star. Go get’em, anonytaigas! Pounce on those shitty Danny Choo-wannabes, pin’em down, rape the daylights out of them, and then pull back, in full ape form, beat your chests and scream “EEEEEEEEELIMINATED!!”

According to a site search, this is my first post containing the word “otaku,” disregarding a link to a post of digitalboy’s (digi’s post had the term “otaku” in its name). As such, I doubt I will come under fire personally, though it would no doubt be fun to. And I don’t say this in the “omg I’m so cute, I call myself a masochist” way in which countless losers begged to be on the OEG list. I say this because this shit is fun, pure, unadulterated barrel of monkeys.

Three hints and suggestions for the OEG folks:

- don’t force the cordiality. Be as angry as you like, by all means.
- review every EL aniblog. You can’t say shit like “digitalboy isn’t notable enough.” Be thorough. Really get into the bones of this. Don’t fuck this up.
- work faster. Do you really need a whole week for four disses? C’mon, chop chop.

And yes, I am only writing this post because one of the OEG dudes nodded my way in their latest blogation. But who the fuck cares? That’s how the ’sphere has always worked, from before the fall of (the original) Blogsuki. Circle jerks and all that. Yeehaw.

Hey guys. I’ve been leaving you alone a lot recently, has that been nice? Technology is awesome. I’ve already managed to incense someone by bashing on Higurashi in Google Wave. Google Wave! That shit’s like, from 2014!

Anyway. Back to the season at hand.

I am now going to prove that nothing currently airing is good. Don’t expect screenshots, I’m too lazy even to steal pics from RandomC.

1. Queen’s Blade Season 2: Hirano Aya’s character has been marginalized. I haven’t heard nearly enough of her voice this season. Every time I finish an episode of this trash, I go back and marathon the entirety of Kiddy Grade for want of her voice.

2. Seiken no Blacksmith: Ignoring that knights must be chivalrous and not moe, the message of Blackshit thus far seems to have been that girls are sad if you don’t buy them useless kit. Buy a candle and stick it on their heads, though, and you’re golden. You’re even a good guy, who cares about the girl! But if you don’t buy shitty accessories, you’re a bad guy. Thrifty? No, you’re evil, and you need to be corrected.

3. Fairy Tail: This show is louder than Seto no Hanayome, and it doesn’t make up for it with mermaid gangsters. Loud is bad.

4. Sasameki Koto: Should be “Stammered Things” instead of “Whispered Things.” This manga didn’t translate well into anime form; Sumi is a humongous pansy who’s more painful to watch than the typical weak male harem lead, and her crush has no redeeming values whatsoever. Take something great and destroy it.

5. Book of Bantorra: Xam’d ripoff. Inferior Xam’d ripoff.

6. Winter Sonata: the main guy looks exactly like my gf’s ex, and that pisses me off. If an anime pisses me off, it’s bad, unless it’s Bokurano, in which case it’s somehow good even if it’s angering (thanks, Owen!).

7. Sora no Otoshimono: Chobits was hotter. If Tomoki doesn’t start fingering Ikaros soon I’m going to throw my shoe at my monitor. This show also suffers from Kanokon/To-Love-ru Syndrome: too much sexual tension, not enough sex.

8. Kanokon OVA: see above.

9. To-love-ru OVA: see above.

10. Kampfer: see above.

11. Nyan-koi: Not enough catfish. Pass.

12. Darker than Black 2: I have a skit for this piece of shit.

Suou: FATE-CHAN! TANYA!
Tanya: … *scowl*
Suou: Fate-chan Tanya, stop this!
Tanya: … why?
Suou: It’s me, Nanoha Suou! Remember me?
Tanya: Die.
Suou: Listen to me! I just want to be friends…
Tanya: BARDICHE! BUGS!
Suou: *transformation sequence* STARLIGHT BREAKER! HUGE FUCKING GUN! *humongous explosions*

Hopefully this has been illuminating and informative for all.

13. Kiddy girlAND: Not enough Hirano Aya. ;(

14. Aoi Bungaku: that piece of shit ghostlightning enjoys this show. He also like Bakemonogatari. You can see a trend, here.

Anything else airing? I’ll take it down a few rungs. C’mon. Bring it.

15. A Certain Scientific Railgun: not enough Railgun, way too much loud, annoying lolis (Uihara, the teleporting bitch, etc.). Also, promotes bad things, in particular, blanket video surveillance. Earns the “most evil” mark of the season, second being Seiken no Blacksmith with its consumerist messages.

16. Kimi ni Todoke: traumatizing memories of the KimiKiss opening.

Call it a bias.

Setting aside her verbal abuse—which is really nothing more than her trying to be funny—what does she do for Araragi? She makes him a little uncomfortable. But that’s as much him as it is her. He’s an awkward guy.

And she’s awkward, too, hence the attempts to be funny.

So—what does she do for Araragi?

Where the typical disgusting moe anime heroine might promise a lifetime of bento, Senjougahara gives Araragi something much more meaningful. She brings him to her happy place and shows him the Treasure in her Heart.

She says it’s the only thing she has left that she hasn’t given Araragi.

That’s pretty fucking intense.

A night sky flooded with stars, unmarred by light pollution, a little bit of serene beauty hiding in plain sight. That beauty is Senjougahara’s treasure, and it’s the treasure she passes along to Araragi. That beauty is Senjougahara’s beauty—as she makes the most heartfelt gesture possible, she ascends and becomes those stars.

Ultimately, Senjougahara’s beauty is that she’s sappy as fuck.

And I like sappy.

Prompted by my recent comment on his similarly recent post, digitalboy addressed what an asshole I’ve been in very blunt terms.

5:08:22 PM digitalboy: jesus do you thrive on being a killjoy?
5:08:29 PM lolikitsune: yes
5:08:32 PM digitalboy: lol
5:08:40 PM lolikitsune: and in turn, you thrive on that
5:08:45 PM lolikitsune: it works out well
5:08:54 PM digitalboy: I don’t think so
5:08:55 PM lolikitsune: see like this,
5:09:10 PM lolikitsune: you can be convinced that you’re better than i am while impressing everyone else
5:09:21 PM lolikitsune: if everyone were stroking your cock you’d be like “wait there’s something wrong here”
5:09:30 PM digitalboy: ah, I see
5:09:40 PM digitalboy: I can actually see the logic in that
5:09:40 PM lolikitsune: but as long as lolikit’s there to dump on your trophy, you know everything’s well in heaven
5:10:04 PM lolikitsune: now that you understand, go back to kicking ass
5:10:06 PM digitalboy: but think of this as well
5:10:19 PM lolikitsune: no.
5:10:23 PM lolikitsune: you don’t need hand-outs from me.
5:10:32 PM lolikitsune: suck it and go write more posts
5:10:33 PM lolikitsune: cheerio
5:10:39 PM digitalboy: fine then.

What good ol’ digiboy has yet to understand is that I have over 9000 penises and he is sucking on all of them.