Lolikitean Christmas had a hick-up, but I’m going to catch up, like no one ever has. The anime of the 17th is Magical Girl Madoka Magica.

Madoka (2011-01-06)

Description

After experiencing a bizarre dream, Madoka Kaname, a kind 14-year-old girl, encounters a magical creature named Kyube. Madoka and her friend Sayaka Miki are offered the opportunity of gaining magical powers if they agree to make a contract with the strange little being. He will also grant them one wish, but in exchange they shall risk their lives by accepting the responsibility of fighting witches. Invisible to human eyes, witches are catalysts of despair in the areas they inhabit. An ally of Kyube, a magical girl named Mami Tomoe, befriends and encourages the two girls to accept the contract. For an unknown reason, another magical girl named Homura Akemi is determined to prevent Madoka from accepting the deal.

Genre: adventure, horror, psychological, science fiction
Theme: evil being, magic, magical girl, mind break, tragedy, wishes, witches
Length: 12

Links: Official Official Official ANN

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Anyway, there’s been time traveling, sliding, and general alien bullshit in a good deal of 2011′s haul. Madoka in particular had an impact on me, however.

Homu Homu done fucked up

This image just resonates somewhere in my fantasy fanboy database for some reason. Gears are kinda like wheels, and, well… Brian Saunderson’s got you covered.

A recap, in case any of you are even more out of it than I was: there’s an Aniblog Tourney happening. That’s right, bitches, aniblog.

“This is the first time!!! SO EXCITED” scream countless aniblogosphere sycophants. But no, sadly, this is not the first time. We had the Anime Blog Awards in 200…8? Lemme check my sidebar. Ah yes. Best Satire Blog 08. To give credit where credit is due, there are two original things about this Aniblog Tourney: first, it’s sucking on Jason’s cock by being set up in a sports-esque bracket (which Josh so kindly SGML-ized); second, I’m not in it.

Am I bitter? Fuck no! Being excluded from this sham of democracy is the best thing that’s happened to me all month!

This also means that I can kibitz from the sidelines with impunity. I won’t look like a narcissistic whore and I won’t look like an emo loser! I’ll just be me, you know, just be me. And then no one be judging me, except me.

All this said in various shades of verbal irony, I shall now move right along to the first round of the Aniblog Tourney without further ado.

My picks are winning for now, but will it all be meaningless in the end?

Every day, two pairs of blogs are voted on. Today, it’s… well, you see the names in the above-srced image. Calamitous Intents and The Cart Driver are winning so far today. This is good, because those are the two blogs I voted for. Why did I vote for them? Funny you should ask!

I voted for Calamitous Intents because that’s where Choux resides. For those not in the know, Choux is a lovely lovely artist who did the female character designs of CCY-senpai wa 17sai. Yes, this is a plain case of personal bias. What? How much did she charge me for the artwork? Zero dollars. Fuck, this looks like corruption in action. So much for democracy!

As for The Cart Driver, I was unfamiliar with the blog prior to today. I was also unfamiliar with its opponent, Sekijitsu, but the choice was pretty easy to make after a quick peek at both sites. First, Sekijitsu has about 600 pixels of the HTML equivalent of drivel before you actually get down to business and read their posts. That’s a big no-no in my book. To make matters worse… well, I’ll let the blog speak for itself:

Do you remember what I said about the originality of the Aniblog Tourney earlier in this post?

Okay, okay, so something can be 100% unoriginal and still be epic, but this is really pushing it.

Moving right along, The Cart Driver is… well, you remember how Code Geass R2 ended? Remember how a certain Mike was orgasming over the idea of Lelouch still being alive at the end? Remember how, grasping for whatever straws he could, he came up with a 4chan rumor that zomg the cart driver is Lelouch!! ? Yeah. The Cart Driver is that cart driver.

Negative points in my book, but said aniblog quickly shoots to the top of my list of good blogs due to the number of pixels between the top of the page and the first post (maybe 100? something sexy like that). All this pored over, The Cart Driver carts home an easy win.

Am I suggesting that my votes are important in any way?

I suppose I am. Please forgive me, oh aniblogospeers.

P.S. just for the record, if rankings in the Aniblog Tourney are primarily based on blog age, how is notdotq not even featured? I was around before half of the participant blogs. ghostlightning? You gotta be kidding me.

A new decade is upon us! There are many strange things afoot in the world of the aniblogosphere! A great otaku cleansing is underway! A baby has been born! Certain females have embraced their true calling as agents of the truth of YFR! These are all clearly omens and signs that it is high time to shake things up in the world.

As such, I have stepped up to the plate to rule as notdotq’s new overlord.

Greetings underlings, I am lolikappa, your new lord and master.

Or something.

For those of you who don’t recognize me, I’ve been here longer than all of you, so shut the fuck up and sit down. I’m a duck and shit, I watch animu, I play vidjamagames, I go to school in the frigid east, and I’ve been IRL archrivals with lolikit for like six years or some shit. Traditionally I make one post on here a year, despite having originally been a coblogger or something like that.

So what happened to lolikit? Well, see, last week he made a grave error. He took on the guise of someone he shouldn’t have. He overstepped his bounds. He took on the mantle of the most rapturous raptor, the madman in the sexy hat, the one, the only… Baka-Raptor-Jesus. He reigned on high for a few glorious hours, but was soon struck down by the mighty hand of the real Baka Raptor, and is thus lost to the world. The mighty lizard cast his pale imitator out into the wild world, where his scrabbling family caught hold of his flailing limbs, and dragged him off into the horizon.

(Of course, I was the one who got him to take on that guise in the first place. As Kurosawa would say… just as keikaku.)

So what will notdotq be like under my reign? Not much different. I’m going to try to post every day, even though most of those posts will be meaningless drivel. Maybe there’ll be a Winter Kickoff Shit? Or maybe some ramble about Eden of the East, or Brotherhood, or Bakuman, or Casshern, whatever else I’m watching/reading these days. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

And maybe this regime change won’t be permanent. Maybe someday lolikit will return. But maybe, just maybe…

Maybe this is the dawn of a glorious new decade.

.lolikappa

I like flames.

These guys are the Queen’s bollocks. I love them. They write run-on sentences and don’t afraid of anything. They compare themselves to volcanoes—you know who else did that? Kamina. Eat your heart out, TTGL fans.

Anyway, the mission is clear: these pleasant individuals wish to stamp out the “incorrect” usage of the term “otaku” in the EL aniblogosphere by publicly shaming bad animebloggers who “incorrectly” dub themselves “otaku.” A noble goal. I love crusaders, and the conviction and vitriol these guys pack remind me of my days spent raging against Lucky Star. Go get’em, anonytaigas! Pounce on those shitty Danny Choo-wannabes, pin’em down, rape the daylights out of them, and then pull back, in full ape form, beat your chests and scream “EEEEEEEEELIMINATED!!”

According to a site search, this is my first post containing the word “otaku,” disregarding a link to a post of digitalboy’s (digi’s post had the term “otaku” in its name). As such, I doubt I will come under fire personally, though it would no doubt be fun to. And I don’t say this in the “omg I’m so cute, I call myself a masochist” way in which countless losers begged to be on the OEG list. I say this because this shit is fun, pure, unadulterated barrel of monkeys.

Three hints and suggestions for the OEG folks:

- don’t force the cordiality. Be as angry as you like, by all means.
- review every EL aniblog. You can’t say shit like “digitalboy isn’t notable enough.” Be thorough. Really get into the bones of this. Don’t fuck this up.
- work faster. Do you really need a whole week for four disses? C’mon, chop chop.

And yes, I am only writing this post because one of the OEG dudes nodded my way in their latest blogation. But who the fuck cares? That’s how the ‘sphere has always worked, from before the fall of (the original) Blogsuki. Circle jerks and all that. Yeehaw.

I was ready to Disappear into the Summer, but lelangir sucks at improv. Three simple letters—a “w,” a “u,” and a “t”—informed me that either my attempt at humor was, as drmchsr0 might say, a poor imitation of my past self, or that the ‘sphere just wasn’t ready for a Second Ascension.

But what really triggered me to end this sham was the following post from CCY: K-ON! Is a Lot Like a Little Sister. Not because it made me laugh nor because it made me cry, but because it was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Really, Senpai-kun? Really?

In a world where there is so much strife, so much unwarranted competition, such rife capitalism, so much disease, so many religious faggerjacks, and so little money, you’re worrying about K-ON!’s quality?! My bad. He has stopped worrying about K-ON!’s quality.

Actually, I didn’t read the fucking post. Knowing CCY, and knowing his opinion of Lucky Star, I know that reading the post would send me into a frothing fit of fury.

But one thing in the introductory paragraph stood out to me:

Even though I would love to return to the spotlight at the same time as lolikitsune, acting as his most disturbing senpai, the words aren’t flowing yet.

Pictorial evidence, Exhibit A:

Apparently, the “L” in “LK” is the better half.

But now isn’t the time to poke fun of Senpai’s CSS. Who the fuck cares if his text floats all over the place? I sure as hell don’t. The “point” here, as Kero would say, is that CCY thinks I’m making a return to the spotlight. Am I? I don’t even know! But I’ll keep playing this idiotic game as long as you morons keep inflating my ego with your comments, your tweets, your blog posts, your prayers.

So I’m back now? Fuck if I know. I’ll hedge this one to the ends of the earth.

What did you just mouth, Jim? I need to post about anime in order to be back? Ffffffffff. Well, I guess I’ll make a token attempt in order to please Senpai.

Guin Saga: Plus: pretty backgrounds. Con: Lemus. Reminiscent of: Jyu Oh Sei x Shadow Warrior Chronicles. Dropped after one episode.

Hanasakeru Seishounen: Plus: pretty boys. Con: ugly girls. Reminiscent of: Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito (I think it was the big cat on a tropical island). Dropped after five minutes. I couldn’t even make it to the pretty boys =(

Valkyria Chronicles: Plus: short skirts. Con: idiotic characters. Reminiscent of: Violinist of Hamelin. Tentatively watching.

Sengoku Basara: OH MY GOD SHIT’S SO REAL!!

That’s about it for anime.

Oh, and while I’m alive, let’s clear something up for newcomer Mori. Jim, bring up the Twitter.

The good doctor, Moritheil, is none other than moi même: Dr. lolikitsune, with Ph.D. in lolikitean, trolling, and good taste.

In final news: my legendary PR guy is talking to me again?! I doubt I’ve done anything right, so I’m just writing him down as a mindless Watchmen fanboy.

[canned introduction] Maria-sama ga Miteru: a show about disgustingly rich girls attending a private school that at once shields them from the harshness of reality and subjects them to the darkest, most horrific thing a girl could go through: romantic friendship with other girls! [/canned introduction]

As DiGiKerot pointed out, there’s a lot wrong with this new season of Maria-sama ga Miteru. This isn’t limited to the OP song change, or to the running in the OP sequence. This episode sees the *gasp* introduction of apparently heterosexual men! In my Hanadera Academy? Obviously it’s more likely than I thought—I would have said the chances were 0%.

Spiral power? “Your sexy lesbian is a sexy lesbian that can pierce the gay man’s gayness?” I don’t even know!

Anyway, this episode sees us approximately one year after the events in episode one of season one. The school festival is coming up, and Lillian Jougakuen’s Yamayurikai is once more holding a play. Once more, the boys from sister gay school Hanadera Gakuen are participating. Once more, there’s some tall, dark, and bishoujo girl bitch who hates men and wants out. Once more, Yumi is given the task of making everything work out.

By the way, Kanako. You want Yumi to remain an angel?

Protip: People die when they’re killed.

Crazy Sachiko, in classic Crazy Sachiko style, informs the actors that the girls and boys will be switching roles. Well, she’s gotten better about gender issues in the last year (remember her moaning about how evil men were?), but this kind of blunt trolling isn’t very attractive. At first Yumi is displeased with her onee-sama’s decision, but then she decides to take it like a good little walking vagina when said onee-sama melts her with her eyes.

Shirukii is also on board with Sachiko’s “meaningful” expressions.

“Rape is imminent.”

In between the Yamayurikai practicing the play and Shimako training her new dog, Yumi has some flashbacks of when she became Crazy Sachiko’s petite soeur. We get some nice piano version of Pastel Pure that almost makes up for the new OP, and… Yoshino suggests that Yumi have a nice anniversary with her onee-sama. I’m starting to see eye-to-eye with IcyStorm here; Yoshino rocks. “Nice anniversary?” Roses, chocolates, a fancy dinner, and a hotel room.

The fanfiction writes itself!

In any event, Crazy Sachiko clearly remembers what day is coming up. She’s got her rape mask on.

Later on, Yumi and Touko are having some problems with their relationship. Thankfully Yumi has learned the lessons taught by Rainy Blue and confronts Touko directly, making a big fuss in front of the Yamayurikai’s sex chapel.

As the school watches in horror, Yumi trills “Ano (Tou)ko wo Rape.”

Now that Maria-sama ga Miteru is current again, I should really do some YFR fic of it, huh?

The stage was set. The metools painted a rainbow over Lillian’s entryway and the Yamayurikai took to the sky in kaiawase formation. Who will profit? Who will get sexxings? Who will make my next blog post funny? So many questions, and a whole another week until episode two…

(The emo girl was emo, but such is the lot in life for those who fall in love with DEAD PEOPLE WHO WERE KILLED. OH EM GEE.)

Fuck Yesssssssssss

Toward the end of the episode, we are informed that Rosa Gigantea is coming back for the school festival. The possibilities are endless. Personally, I’m hoping for the “Sei surprise-sexes Yumi while Yumi is waiting for Sachiko to meet her for their after-festival anniversary-celebratory make-out session” route. Other lovely possibilities include a threesome, an overly-dramatic scene with humongous sexual tension, and a tennis match.

Other coverage by:
Link
Cuchlann
Totali

10. YFR, noun.
ex. Kyoushiro to Towa no Sora never delivered the hot YFR.

9. YRF, noun.
ex. When there’s YFR, you know someone’s got their hands on one of those YRFs.

8. graphs, sign of superiority.
ex. I’m as awesome as the Japanese because I put graphs in my posts.

7. loliyuri ice cream, cake.
ex. Loliyuri ice cream is moist and delicious.

6. friendship, noun.
ex. Jason and I share a healthy friendship.

**I move away from the vocab lessons to share some some interesting numbers

5. Baka-Raptor, dinosaur.
ex. Dinosaurian Baka-Raptor is dinosaurian.

4. beanbrew, jason.
def. see here
ex. Fucking beanbrew. (Gee whiz, lolikit, you’re laying the references on thick!)

3. jasonism, noun.
def. a unit of culture pushed by a single person onto a willing crowd of zombie-esque followers
ex. I am currently studying for my Internet Ph.D. in jasonisms.

2. no more, dream.
ex. What everyone wanted was no more raping at the hands of AT&T, but that was just a dream, just a dream.

1. I’m going to go vote tomorrow, promise.
ex. see below

This is my “I’m going to go vote tomorrow” face. Look forward to my typhoon of patriotism!

LET’S GET A LITTLE SACHIKO X YUMI ACTION GOING HERE

LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI
LOLIYURI

LUNCH IN THE ROSE GARDEN?!?!?!!oneoneeleven

It’s been ages since I last blogged trainwreck yuri. How many ages, you ask? Too many (this doesn’t count, because any yuri involving Chikane is automatically excellent). And damn is it good to be back.

I’M REMINDED OF AGONY—SO WHERE’S THE SHELL-MATCHING?

This show isn’t necessarily bad, actually. I just need something to make fun of right now, and Hyakko is too obvious. Toradora! has already been served justice, of course. Now, I’ve not ready any other blogs’ posts on Mouryou no Hako, aside from taking one glancing blow of a look at some post that accused someone of accusing the show of sucking. In other words, I have no idea what the “community sentiment” is. CJ Blackwing told me to watch this and mellow_bunny told me to blog this. That’s all there is to it.

KANAKO BEAM

As for any “real” thoughts I have regarding this show, well. I really did laugh a little when I saw Kanako reading on their date (and immediately remembered Lovely Kitsune’s post, and immediately needed to follow mellow_bunny’s advice). I really was amused by our heroine’s reactions to things and her gradual spiral downward into the sea of oblivion insanity. On the other hand, the show did pique my curiosity: I’m interested to find out what the hell is up with the talking heads in boxes, and stuff. Looks like yuri subplot isn’t over yet because the ED is an endless ring of naked girls, so maybe it’s not actually a subplot.

halo thar, MY NAME IS MR. COCKBLOCK

On the other hand, I absolutely cannot bring myself to care about our heroine (or her fuck buddy). Neither displays any substantial character prior to existing as nothing but insane lesbians. Neither is especially sympathetic, nor is either unsympathetic enough for me to care. They’re just sorta there, dancing under the moonlight.

And I guess that’s okay. Just, not the makings of an awesome yuri.

Buuuut it looks like we’ll be seeing more of this detective guy, and it looks like he might be more of a main character ultimately than our moon-crossed crazies, so things might turn out alright. The show also has a chance to become fucking awesome. Check out this line of events:

1. our heroine cooperates with Detective’s investigation
2. Kanako’s servant/brother/whoever Mr. Cockblock is knows Kanako’s secrets
3. Mr. Cockblock, in order to protect Kanako’s honor, kills our heroine
4. Mr. Cockblock and Detective have hot buttsex

PLEASE BE GENTLE—T-TOO ROUGH!!

The many faces of Kusumoto.

I CAME A LITTLE, THEN I REMEMBERED YAMI TO BOUSHI TO HON NO TABIBITO. I CAME AGAIN.

HERDING LILIES IS DANGEROUS WORK, BUT ONE LILY FOLLOWS ANOTHER LILY

Would I recommend this show to the casual viewer? Too early to tell. The possibilities seem endless. This could be a really interesting detective story or a really bad story about unrequited love, suicide, paranoia, and rebirth as your lover (again, Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito parallels). There are other directions it could go, too. /me shrugs

I’ll have fun blogging this until I stop having fun with it, I suppose.

Any other shows I should be blogging regularly? Let me know in the comments.

The first third of Iriya is far superior to the first third of Saikano

Karmaburn’s latest post deftly dodges the truth of “would you like to lick them?” in order to jump on the convenient “Saikano is emo fail” bandwagon. While Saikano is far from perfect in the eyes of those not ready to abandon themselves to its emotional Amusement Park, we must keep in mind that Iriya no Sora was dictionary-definition trash. It had two good scenes (maybe three if you still care about the show at the end). Rather, I might call it the Strawberry Panic to Saikano’s Maria-sama ga Miteru.

The only coherent thought I had while watching this was that this series will give Michael approximately ten and a half orgasms. They both get eternity! Isn’t that sweet? Or should I say, in the words of our eloquent intellifaggerot, “dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww?”

On a more serious note: Michael, you piece of shit, STOP BLOGGING ABOUT CODE GEASS. Until you stop, Baka-Raptor will continue to be caught in a matrix of “Get thee to a ______” commenting, and the aniblogosphere will continue to suffer. Consider your responsibility, man!