If anyone here's SECRETLY a part of the whole, english-speaking anime blog community that centers itself around http://animenano.com, you'll probably be at least partially aware of the GRAPHSFORJASONSBONERLOL thingamabob that the animenano IRCers cooked up. You'll know about the FYG post battles, you'll know about NNL's release policy and the hubub surrounding it. That is internet drama. That (internet drama) is freakin' awesome (am I allowed to use the f word on this forum? Rules change with time. I'll use 'love' as a replacement from now on!).

For those not familiar with the term, it refers to big hullabaloos online where people either have their feelings hurt or pretend that their feelings have been hurt as the result of some very... well, dramatic... exchanges between parties. If two people have an internet relationship (IR) and break up amidst many tears and friends splitting into factions, that is internet drama.

Speaking of internet drama, one easy way to start some is to say something controversial.

Saying controversial things is my esper power, see? And for me to use this power there must be a number of conditions being met. First, I must be within closed space, and--- no no no.

The conditions are as follows: Now, when these conditions are met, I'm capable of using my powers and battling gods, like The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi (SHnY) and Jason Miao (jason).

Thus sparks internet DO-RA-MA!!

The awesome thing about controversy is that you can find it almost anywhere. I mean, there are billions of people on this tiny planet and we all have slightly different opinions from every other person on at least one topic. So controversy is easy to find. Shit, I could just walk to DC and say something like "yo foolz, the war in Iraq is teh suxx0rz" and that'd be controversial. You know, I'd do that, but that's not exactly... internet drama. So in this case, we have something that was controversial, but might not be anymore? I don't know, I've sorta not been checking the nets for six days. SHnY- whether it's good or not, Haruhiism, SOS-dan fanboys, faptastic arguments about whether or not Tsuruya is "LOL-tan" or "fang-tan"... these things are all part of the bundle of controversy known as SHnY.

Sick, pain, depressed? Easy to fulfill. For one, I just had oral surgery, and have been in recovery for the last week. There's your pain. And I'm always depressed, because I'm so emo.

Internet? Check, I was on some shitty Earthlink last night. IRC? Check, running Colloquy 2.0, as can be testified to by lovely IRCgoer KoS, who also uses Colloquy. For the record, KoS is all kinds of awesome, because he(/she? I never asked) also uses Adium X, and dreams of using Pink Haired Lesbian Anime Girls (PHLAGs).

So, my powers are in full swing and I'm ready to say controversial things, like "LOVE THE SOS-DAN IN THE BUTT!!!" ... but I won't say things like that because they'd be mean. While I'm definitely an asshole, as stated by TAT in #Animeost.NET at the pinnacle of the channel's flourishing, I'm not mean, as stated by scottfrye in #animenano near the time of its birth.

It came to be that I was connected to said Earthlink last night, and that I'd hit command+option+x and launched Colloquy 2.0 through a trigger in my beta prerelease Quicksilver. I was in a lot of pain, because of my recovery, and I was depressed because I'm so emo. And SHnY existed.

Now, what most likely triggered the happenings last night (though none are truly sure as to what they were, we'd all had too much sake that afternoon) is that a staff member named Bane had some weird suffix attached to his nick in the IRC channel. -haruhiism. At this point, I think it might be a good idea to note that if your handle is either desu or Inu-Yasha or Bane or Lord Katsuhito (for a grand total of two people) you should finish reading this post before deleting it or banning me, because you might be amused. I'm a comedian after all.

So this Bane fella had this suffix -haruhiism. And I was like, CONTROVERSY, and POUNCED, quite literally pouncing in with a "haruhiism? yuck" ... well, that's paraphrasing. I'm not sure what it was exactly that I said. Like I said, too much sake.

Soon, the channel was full of high-speed message bullets being fired back and forth between Bane and I, classics such as "if you don't understand, you don't need to know (Bane)" and "do you even understand what you're talking about? (me)". In short, we were total jackasses to eachother. It was pretty classy, because, you know, my ego grows every time I treat a staff member like a little kid who's hyakunen hayai. Being called an idiot also nourishes my ego. I try to be an idiot and every time people acknowledge my efforts, it brings me one step closer to becoming Hokage.

Nothing much came of the Entanglement, as Bane is resilient to the words of idiots (me) and I was already in pain and depressed (because I'm so emo, you see.)

One thing to note is that Bane temporarily kicked me from the channel for calling Awang a heterosexist twat. Now, the reason I called Awang a heterosexist twat is onefold- he had this poll "who should really be with Kyon" and there was no ITSUKI on the list. And the yaoi fangirl inside me went "KYA~!" ... So I called him a heterosexist twat. I'm sure Awang would have laughed it off... as it was obvious that I was not being serious. But, the only ones that matter in this anecdote are myself and Bane, and, as I'm sure I've said twice before, we had both had way too much sake to drink that afternoon.

I wasn't laughing when Bane called me an idiot.

I'd had too much sake to drink :(

Later on, I saw the thread on these forums having to do with real places in SHnY, and I said something like "lol I'm gonna go educate those haruhiists as to why there are real places in SHnY!!" A staff member named Lord Katsuhito (nick: Inu-Yasha), at this point, pops out of nowhere and sets a ban on me! My eyes widened in surprise, and then I saw his ban message. Something about stop being a know-it-all.

Cats (an affectionate nickname stemming from the pronunciation of "Katsu" and a tie-in to AllYourBase) didn't kick me right away, however. So there I was, banned, sitting in the channel. For a moment I paused for breath (chotto doki doki shita... :[) and then I addressed him.

"Hey hey hey!" I say, enthusiasm tainting my words with false sincerity. "Remember the last time you set a ban on me? We ended up having a nice long conversation afterwards." I pause to catch my breath and go on, blushing profusely and wetting myself, "mata... sou shiou, yo."

Now, I don't have any kind of confidence in my Japanese skills. In fact I know they're absolute crap. I've learned everything I know from anime (and nihongoresources.com) which means that my knowledge of Japanese is like... my knowledge of English divided by zero. Yes, divided by zero. It's that bad. So, I'm not sure I didn't accidentally say something incredibly offensive in Japanese on accident. But what I think I said was just this: let's do that again.

Now, either Cats understood me and I accidentally said something insulting, or he understood me and thought that I'd said something insulting, or he didn't understand me and thought that I'd said something insulting- either of those three ways he came out with this notion that I'd insulted him. TAIHEN YO~! We can't have that.

I humbly apologize, Cats. I don't want you to be insulted or mistaken anymore. I just wanted to have a nice long chat, like that time we sparred over forum services, or that time we argued about PHP skills! Remember the love, man! Now that you know what it is that I said, and my pure maidenly feelings behind it, will you please take me? No, that's not what I meant. Will you please... forgive me?

If all could be settled this easily, internet drama would not be the fun thing that it is. As things stand, Cats also thinks I insulted Bane. If I'm correct, he thinks I attacked each of the staff members (don't worry Blitz, now that you don't like FSN you're safe from my rage!) but that is most certainly incorrect. Like I said, Bane and I had been drinking a bit too much sake. Our feelings of apathy towards eachother are mutual.

So, that's how things are.

Internet Drama at its finest. Where are the ponies, you might ask? http://cuteoverload.com

Now, please excuse me, whilst I go perform a cleansing ceremony and enact a bath scene. By that I mean I'm about to go watch Jack Sparrow be sexy. Bai bai~

---

For the record, my apology to Cats IS sincere. And if Bane was offended by anything I said, I apologize to him, with the excuse that I'd had a tad too much sake to drink. And of course, I'm so emo. *nodnod*