Can’t we all just get along? ← ¬.Q

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Can’t we all just get along?

Ore no Imouto Episode 4 pissed many off with its half-assed fanservice. Apparently, the fanservice was exactly as polarizing as it shouldn’t have been. People either wanted less, or they wanted more. They raged at the show, they raged at each other, they raged at nothing. Spluttering in impotent fury at their own expectations, they staggered around the ‘sphere, dead albatrii ’round their necks.

“What did we do to deserve this shit?”

I’ve said my bit about the flaws in the show. I won’t repeat myself here. But I am amused. Not because the show made me laugh. Not because the show made me cry. Nor, in fact, because the show was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Rather, because the aniblogosphere is so incredibly predictable.^[1]

It’s like, seriously, guys? Are we so important? (Oh, right, bloggers, n.—self-important egomaniacal masturbators) If there’s a chance to rage, we rage. If there’s a chance to mock others for raging, we mock others for raging. Everyone sits on their own high horse, be it moral (“I can’t stand incest! I thought this show was above that!”), aesthetic (“I can’t stand Kirino! I thought she was better than bitchdere!”), or meta (“I can’t stand these other bloggers! I thought they would manage to keep their heads on!”).

As OreImo’s fourth episode proliferates its scars across the aniblogosphere, we’re rapidly turning into a cavalry regimen.

And I?

I stand proudly with my feet each on the saddle of two separate horses, wielding my axe high above my head. “Bring it,” cries the the good doctor, “show me one of you to rise above this pointless bickering!” I watched, I waited. Forty-eight painful hours passed by. And finally, at long last, a challenger stepped forward: someone who promised change, someone who expressed disdain on the meta-anibloggery level, someone who ostensibly sought to rise above the “shitstorm.”^[2]

And that challenger’s name was Valence.

mmm graphs

He laughed, he cried, he pointed out the idiocy. Here we have a man truly touched by the full gamut of animemotions! Both accepting his annoyance with the show and his undying love for it, he indicated the irony inherent in his own stance. And to top it all off, he did this all by applying graphs to the show.

I think the crowning grace of this post is that in the same single image he damned OreImo, penning a discomfort index, and made an extremely derpy concession: note where the fanservice scene lies. Yes. That’s right. A local minimum in the discomfort index.

Beautiful.

Truly a scholar and a pervert, Valence sets an example for the enti—

What?

The post continues beyond the image? Wait a sec…

Before you accuse me of being a hypocrite, I admit, this post sounds critical, I know. But what I want is for everyone to just relax.

You can flame each other once the show is over.

What the fuck is that?

Qualifying beyond qualification, equivocating beyond equivocating, hedging beyond the hedge. “Before you call me a hypocrite, I know I’m a hypocrite!” … isn’t that hypocrisy ‘sono mono’ ? Jeez. So much for Valence’s valence.

One potential messiah debunked and defenestrated, the good doctor returns to waiting. He sits. He waits. He sits. He waits. Will another challenger appear? One who will unite the aniblogosphere behind a banner of #animehipster uncaring, one who will bring irony and justice but most of all ironic justice^[3] to bear in our eternal fight against the chilling effects of the eternally raging shitstorm?

In simpler terms, “can’t we all just get along?”

Valence betrayed us by putting an expiration on his proposed truth. We can attack each other to our heart’s content once the show is over. Sounds like American politics: “just wait a bit longer…”

Can we all just get along?

No.

And I, Dr. lolikitsune, am perfectly fine with that.^[4]

KIRABOSHI~★

Footnotes

these notes are like lelouch's head to the boot of this post's suzaku

I predicted this particular scenario three years ago using IcyStorm’s scrotal perspiration. [↩]
We get so many of these, the albedo effect must be out of control—not long before the ice shelves advance… [↩]
I will admit: I considered “poetry and justice but most of all poetic justice,” but I thought it might be lost on all you sad excuses for thinking lifeforms. [↩]
Don’t be misled by my post title. I never want anyone to get along. Strife is the key to lulz. [↩]

it is moist & delicious meta

and it's not even a lie!

Icystorm's Fapstains, lolikitsune penned this last love song at 9:05 on October 27, 2010.

It's categorized as Community, Denunciation, Encomium, and it's tagged over nine thousand things, including: #animehipster (3), fanservice (6), global warming, graphs (15), hatred (15), incest, it didn't make me laugh nor did it make me cry but it was so goddamn stupid to the point of being an instant classic (2), masturbation (2), morals, omiclap (3), rage (8), rime of the ancient mariner (2), scholar and x, shitstorm, tsundere = bitch. What a slut.

At least it only has 29 comments and 4,893 views.

29 Responses

→ Reply
At 9:14 am on October 27, 2010,
Robert Weizer said:

personally I go the route less traveled and ignore oreimo in favor of enjoying the hell out of Shinryaku! Ika Musume.
- → Reply
  At 9:15 am on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  Lame. Watch both, fail fanboy.
  - → Reply
    At 9:34 am on October 27, 2010,
    Robert Weizer said:
    
    I’m too busy with my current backlog and I’m not really interested in OreImo.
→ Reply
At 9:21 am on October 27, 2010,
Shance said:

The eye of the shitstorm, El Kay, the eye of the shitstorm.
- → Reply
  At 9:22 am on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  Don’t you EVER forget
→ Reply
At 10:09 am on October 27, 2010,
chikorita157 said:

Amen… Even though the scene is half-assed, it’s not like it affected the enjoyability of the show. There are always bloggers out there that always be extreme negative on this just to get attention so people would react. This is a main reason I don’t read overly negative blogs unless its satire of course. :p

Believe me, Nogizaka Haruka Purezza is worst than OreImouto… I would know because I sat through the whole second season…
- → Reply
  At 6:44 pm on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  So… my post was satire? Thanks for the reality check.
  - → Reply
    At 6:47 pm on October 27, 2010,
    chikorita157 said:
    
    Nah… it conveys the truth…
    - → Reply
      At 6:50 pm on October 27, 2010,
      lolikitsune said:
      
      So it’s negative, and you don’t read it? ;D
      - At 7:54 pm on October 27, 2010,
        chikorita157 said:
        
        I read it… It doesn’t apply to certain exceptions.. Such as the aniblogosphere shit storm and stuff.
        
        The aniblogosphere needs it’s sanity back… If you remembered, the blogosphere got upset over someone’s opinion over Amagami…
→ Reply
At 11:04 am on October 27, 2010,
Ryan A said:

I’ll watch and see what I want to see regardless of what it shows me.w Not one to rage over fanservice or “moral” deconstruction or bloggers on anime, but… I don’t feel I can be offended by any of it; I’m not that invested. ^^
- → Reply
  At 6:43 pm on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  That’s the best way to live life, too: don’t invest yourself in it.
  
  Don’t blame me when you lose out!
→ Reply
At 11:39 am on October 27, 2010,
Taka said:

I don’t have a blog. i fapped hardcore to Oreimo doujins after the fanservice scene. The show was already going downhill. I laughed at this post.
- → Reply
  At 6:44 pm on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  :) Glad you’re having fun!
- → Reply
  At 6:49 pm on October 27, 2010,
  chikorita157 said:
  
  Cool story bro.
→ Reply
At 6:39 pm on October 27, 2010,
Valence said:

Lolwhut. I guess sarcasm doesn’t translate well over text. Better add italics.
- → Reply
  At 6:44 pm on October 27, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  I feel bad for you, son—
  There were ninety-nine ways to respond to this post with class, and a bitch ain’t one.
  - → Reply
    At 6:46 pm on October 27, 2010,
    Valence said:
    
    Touche. Ah well, I’m sorry for my part.
    - → Reply
      At 6:51 pm on October 27, 2010,
      lolikitsune said:
      
      No, no. Fear not. You seem unfamiliar with my style, but I mean nothing personal, and I’m pretty sure I intentionally misrepresented you in the post above. Twice. In contradictory methods.
      
      It’s how I roll.
      
      We coo?
      - At 6:59 pm on October 27, 2010,
        Valence said:
        
        Yeah, we cool. Everyone has their own style.
        
        Ah well, waiting for Ep. 5. . .
      - At 7:03 pm on October 27, 2010,
        lolikitsune said:
        
        Who isn’t? :D :D :D :D
Pingback: OreImo is starting to piss me off – A rant. | Ambivalence , or is it ambiguity?
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→ Reply
At 9:39 pm on October 29, 2010,
lolikitsune said:

My incendiary tongue-in-cheek post can’t be this popular with the pingbacks.
→ Reply
At 12:45 pm on December 9, 2010,
IcyStorm said:

How the hell are you guys getting my ball sweat without me noticing?
- → Reply
  At 2:58 pm on December 9, 2010,
  lolikitsune said:
  
  if i told you… you would notice.
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No.

KIRABOSHI~★

Footnotes

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