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your thoughts have summoned this post from hell

so, as i pray...

Home > Archives > 2010 > April > 19

A Certain Whoredom Index: The Aniblog Tournament, Reaction & Round 1

Well well well. I wouldn’t have known about this at all had it not been for lelangir‘s lelangirically whorish[1] ways. By which I mean he made a post calling for more ‘entries’ in his RSS list. I’m not sure what his goal is… perhaps only to widen his own aniblog-reading? Or does he think he can somehow topple the Teppelin of 5camp’s latest atrocity?[2]

A recap, in case any of you are even more out of it than I was: there’s an Aniblog Tourney happening. That’s right, bitches, aniblog.

“This is the first time!!! SO EXCITED” scream countless aniblogosphere sycophants. But no, sadly, this is not the first time. We had the Anime Blog Awards in 200…8? Lemme check my sidebar. Ah yes. Best Satire Blog 08. To give credit where credit is due, there are two original things about this Aniblog Tourney: first, it’s sucking on Jason’s cock by being set up in a sports-esque bracket (which Josh so kindly SGML-ized); second, I’m not in it.

Am I bitter? Fuck no! Being excluded from this sham of democracy is the best thing that’s happened to me all month[3]!

This also means that I can kibitz from the sidelines with impunity. I won’t look like a narcissistic whore and I won’t look like an emo loser! I’ll just be me, you know, just be me. And then no one be judging me, except me.

All this said in various shades of verbal irony, I shall now move right along to the first round of the Aniblog Tourney without further ado.

round 1

My picks are winning for now, but will it all be meaningless in the end?

Every day, two pairs of blogs are voted on. Today, it’s… well, you see the names in the above-srced image. Calamitous Intents and The Cart Driver are winning so far today. This is good, because those are the two blogs I voted for. Why did I vote for them? Funny you should ask!

I voted for Calamitous Intents because that’s where Choux resides. For those not in the know, Choux is a lovely lovely artist who did the female character designs of CCY-senpai wa 17sai. Yes, this is a plain case of personal bias. What? How much did she charge me for the artwork? Zero dollars. Fuck, this looks like corruption in action. So much for democracy!

As for The Cart Driver, I was unfamiliar with the blog prior to today. I was also unfamiliar with its opponent, Sekijitsu, but the choice was pretty easy to make after a quick peek at both sites. First, Sekijitsu has about 600 pixels of the HTML equivalent of drivel before you actually get down to business and read their posts. That’s a big no-no in my book. To make matters worse… well, I’ll let the blog speak for itself:


Do you remember what I said about the originality of the Aniblog Tourney earlier in this post?

Okay, okay, so something can be 100% unoriginal and still be epic[4], but this is really pushing it.

Moving right along, The Cart Driver is… well, you remember how Code Geass R2 ended? Remember how a certain Mike was orgasming over the idea of Lelouch still being alive at the end[5]? Remember how, grasping for whatever straws he could, he came up with a 4chan rumor that zomg the cart driver is Lelouch!! ? Yeah. The Cart Driver is that cart driver.

Negative points in my book, but said aniblog quickly shoots to the top of my list of good blogs due to the number of pixels between the top of the page and the first post (maybe 100? something sexy like that). All this pored over, The Cart Driver carts home an easy win.

Am I suggesting that my votes are important in any way?

I suppose I am. Please forgive me, oh aniblogospeers.

P.S. just for the record, if rankings in the Aniblog Tourney are primarily based on blog age, how is notdotq not even featured? I was around before half of the participant blogs. ghostlightning? You gotta be kidding me.



these notes are like lelouch's head to the boot of this post's suzaku

  1. Exhibit A []
  2. To be fair, I don’t know the guy very well, and I suppose it is unjust to insinuate that he commits atrocities frequently. []
  3. Because, you know, whenever voting is somehow involved, someone needs to criticize the level of democracy! []
  4. case in point: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann []
  5. Give it up, seriously. People die when they’re killed! []

it is moist & delicious meta

and it's not even a lie!

penned this last love song at 8:20 on April 19, 2010.

It's categorized as Commentary, Community, Meta-Anibloggery, and it's tagged over nine thousand things, including: , , , , , , democracy, , , josh's anime blog, , , , loli salad, , , , , , , , , . What a slut.

At least it only has 38 comments and 7,752 views.

38 Responses

  1. oh shoot choux is there. i guess i gotta vote that way.

  2. the fuck did i do?

  3. you stopped talking to me is what you did T_T

  4. LOL. I’ve been actually toying with the idea of setting up another tournament but without the (necessarily faulty) democratic element…I don’t know…something more sophisticated (prayers to God, dice throws, that sort of thing).

  5. Go for it. Mellow and I were once concocting plans — something called ‘top writers in anime’ — we may continue developing them and then unleash them at some point in the future, or they may shrivel up and die in our Gdocs accounts like raisins in the sun.

  6. I don’t think it’s by age, it’s by Anime Blips status. Also, lol at Lelouch.

  7. Face it, you’re a has-been. When’s the last time you wrote anything about anything?

  8. You’re not in because we knew you would steamroll the contest. Hey I might as well be honest. That’s also the reason why we waited until baka-raptor was blind before starting it

  9. how is this better than OEG?

  10. yo dude Calamitous Intent is winning – that means I am winning! Same with THAT?

  11. It wouldn’t be you without your snarky commentary. In matter of fact, that makes the tournament.

  12. Best satire blog indeed. You could have probably highlighted even more of the quotation from Sekijitsu to include “anime blogs of the world.”
    Anyways, commentaries like these are going to spice up the tournament.

  13. i got bored and offered to do an html bracket that doesn’t invoke visions of chicago bears dancing in your head

  14. Pingback: Aniblog tournament – the positive externalities behind this “elitist event”

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