Sorry for being so fucking late with this. I had shit to do. If you’re gonna bitch, fuck you.
SO WHERE WAS I?

BAKA TO TEST TO SHOUKANJUKU

Is he... making flashcards? really?

Seriously? This anime is about a guy who takes NOTES? Fuck this, I go to an academic enough college. I have enough test-taking in my life. So, I watched the first episode at 2x, but it seemed … well, it seemed like a 2x show. Here’s what I caught of the plot.

So this guy is a fucking moron, right? And he attends a school for ridiculous ninja shenanigans. He’s the secretary of his overpowered student council, so he has to constantly take notes on these flashcards. At first it seems like he’s just a useless pansy, but he figures out how to actually take the powers from each flashcard and use them himself! It’s a pretty badass core conceit, but the main character is such a goddamn pussyfooting Shinji that you can’t help but hate him. DROPPED LIKE IT’S NOT HOT!

HIDAMARI SKETCHY XXX

The sketchiest. Seriously.

Uh oh. Cute uniforms. Cute girls. Hilariously awkward old men with giant tubular heads. This could be a deal-breaker, ladies and gents. I mean honestly, this looks fucking a–

Wait. Hold on.

What the fuck is this shit?

It’s got XXX in the goddamn title. And not even like the “blank” sense like in xXxHolic.

No, fuck this, this shit is just straight-up porn.

I’m not watching this shit. 2010digitalboy, I leave this one entirely in your hands.

HARUKANARU TOKI NI NAKA DE 3

Possibly from space.

You know what? I almost enjoyed this show. I almost did. Two seasons ago. For half an episode.

Then I actually paid attention to the writing, and realized how incredibly shitty it was.

I tried watching this one, without having seen the previous seasons, because apparently it’s supposed to be one of those “pick up halfway through and be just fine” anime (you know, like Fullmetal Alchemist or Eden of the East). Well, I’m going to have to call shenanigans on that. I couldn’t understand what the FUCK happened in this. I mean you’d have better luck picking up halfway through a goddamn George R. R. Martin novel than understanding this.

But it looked kind of cool.

So you know what I did?

I went back and marathoned the first two seasons. Don’t ask me the fuck why. All the shit with the dragons and priestesses and demons and parallel worlds. Every bit.

Then I came back and watched the first episode of this again.

And you know what?

It made even less sense.

So fuck this shit. I’m done with this.

OKAMI KAKUSHI

HERE we go. This is what I’m talking about. Glowing red. Overblown outfits. Tiny girls with giant weaponry.

It seems like another nasu show. And anything that merits that moniker is gold in my book. (Even if it’s not a nasu show. It’s still based on some badass visual novels.) I mean, do I even really need to bother summarizing this show? She slices! She dices! She looks good covered in blood! Is there NOTHING she can’t do!? Oh, right, she can’t get a boyfriend, but that’s FINE. Because she’s my waifu.

…

Oh, wait, except I’m not Josh Pines, so I actually have real girls. Fuck that. She can be Josh Pines’ waifu.

Still a good show.

OMAMORI HINAMI

Settle down.

Alright kids. It’s story time. I’m going to tell you a story.

For all four years of high school, my best friend was a catgirl.

No, I’m not shitting with you. She wore cat ears literally every day (and usually a tail too), she purred, she meowed, she made adorable faces, the whole shebang.

It was not awesome.

For years my arms were covered with scars because she scratched me all the time. She would regularly take naps on my homework or keyboard. She would on occasion forget how to talk and just try to make adorable noises. She was impossible to get moving if she wanted to stay lazing in the sun.

So fuck this shit. Don’t let this show lie to you and trick you into thinking it’d rock. It wouldn’t.

Take it from me.

LADIES VS. BUTLERS

Finally, what we need in this season! Some SUBTLETY!

Let me tell you what this is a show about. It’s about a harem of sexy ladies, who are interested in some butlers.

WHORES.

That’s really all there is to it.

CHU-BRA

I just.

Come on.

Really?

Really, guys?

Everything you need to know is right there in the name. It’s going to be about adorable kisses and bras.

You know what would be cooler? If this were a show about a badass that was part-Pikachu, part COBRA. I would watch the fuck out of that series.

+ =

That about wraps it up for this season.

In short: CRAP. Wow. This season SUCKS. Good thing Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is still going strong (coming up on some of the best stuff in the series), and we’ve got the Eden of the East movies. Because otherwise… wow, what an incredible load of crap. Remind me again why I watch anime?

… oh, right, I generally don’t.

.lolikappa