LK-on!
(Updated.)
Positively taken with the masterful art-style present from episode one of endearing slice-of-life/comedy K-on!, I hung myself upside down from a tree for three weeks in order to contemplate the meaning of my relatively bland existence. I died and was reborn, and when I examined my robes I found them gray no longer. (They were blood-soaked, possibly the result of the runes.) I took a long, soapy bath and, when the laundry finished drying, I looked at my figure in the mirror.
My Days, Jim, has kindly recorded the words I uttered as I examined my new self:
“I have become moe, destroyer of brains.”[1]
(Thanks, Jim.)
As I stood there, transfixed by my own fixation, I realized that I was missing but one thing: a musical instrument. I was going to revive pop music. I quantum divided my hand into a drill, focused on the tones I most dearly wished to reproduce, pierced time and space and the twelfth wall[2], and—you guessed it—produced my instrument: a shiny new well-greased flute.
Transformation complete, I stand before you on my wobbly spearlegs.
Now, who will be my three accomplices? I know that I’m the most bad-ass thing to ever set foot on the stage of the world, but a band is four (or five?!?!!?!?)[3], not one.
UPDATE: Please post your interest in joining the band in the comments below, along with your cell-phone numbers. You will receive anonymous texts instructing you where to go for your… *ahem*… auditions.
Footnotes
these notes are like lelouch's head to the boot of this post's suzaku- Elkay 1:1 [↩]
- The first eleven were pierced in the gameworld of CCY-senpai wa 17sai. [↩]
- Or so the Scientologists would have you believe. [↩]




SAKI 4:19 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
I’M INTERESTED.
I EVEN HAVE AN INSTRUMENT IN MIND.
I WILL DRAW YOU A PIC.
HOLD ON.
OH AND MY NUMBER IS … I’m not telling the world. You already know it.
lolikappa 4:20 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
I’m a professional soloist on the lolikuroi, a truly unique instrument, known for its high range and expressive nature. My number is 1.510.[withheld]. Please respond soon, very interested.
.lolikappa
TheNewHorde 4:21 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
Cell phone…? Uh… i have one that i never use. i don’t even know how to use an address book function, i can’t use a cell phone for my life beside the number pressing and the green call button.
but i’d be interested in this “band”.
lolikitsune 4:25 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
@SAKI: Your entry has been approved.
@lolikappa: Your entry has been approved.
@TheNewHorde: Your entry has failed to comply with our guidelines.
ghostlightning 4:42 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
You do know that I should be in this band, even if only for my shoes [->]
lelangir 4:44 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
oooOooOOoooOOOO I CAN PLAY THE LOLIKIT.
[yes, you're supposed to visualize it as maid guitar....only better]
lolikitsune 4:47 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
@ghostlightning: Shoes, while fucking awesome, do not a cell number make. Entry denied.
@lelangir: Visualizations do not a cell number make. Entry denied.
Those who fail to comply with the guidelines may at any later time try harder. Also, lelangir, you played me in my dreams last night. But it didn’t sound like a maid guitar.
digitalboy 4:48 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
I’ll play the castanets.UNTAN~UNTAN~UNTAN~UNTAN~
lolikitsune 4:50 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
@digitalboy: I asked for a cell number, not an impromptu audition. Oh well, whatever, you’re in.
Band Members: 2/4 (or 5?!?!)
lelangir 4:53 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
@digitalboy: THIS
TheBigN 8:29 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
I play viola and violin. And if you transpose the letters in these sentences to their corresponding numbers, you’ll get my cell phone number in here~
SAKI 10:14 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
After much procrastination and some half-assed work, I present to you:
A PIC.
lolikitsune 10:22 pm on April 19, 2009 Permalink |
@lelangir: NO U
@TheBigN: Your entry has been approved.
@SAKI: You can be a half-assed member of the band. 3.5 asses here, please!
j.valdez 3:22 pm on April 20, 2009 Permalink |
Can I be a roadie?
Zeroblade 9:20 am on April 21, 2009 Permalink |
I can play the lyre and recorder. And my number is a super-secret secret number, but it’s actually 0123456789! (don’t tell anyone!)
Rakuen 3:47 am on May 8, 2009 Permalink |
Now THAT is an instrument!– OF DOOM!!! Doom rocks the hell out of people!