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| Jan 16 2009 |
lolikit writes fanfic: A Wonderful Sisterhood, Part 1 |
It's categorized as fanfiction.
It's tagged over nine thousand things, including: a wonderful sisterhood • aria • go to dmc go to dmc • maria-sama ga miteru. What a slut.
At least it only has 8 comments and 1,556 views.
PLZ BE GENTLE WITH CRIT
I’m not content with the quality of writing, myself, but this isn’t srs bzn and I’m not putting my all into it. Hopefully IcyStorm can forgive me for stealing the idea from him. This will probably be two or three parts; this is only the first of those. If you have any questions, ask’em.
A Wonderful Sisterhood, Part 1
“What’s your deal?” Touko asked Yumi, irritated.
“Please, Touko! I have something wonderful I’d like to show you.”
“I can’t believe you’re asking me to skip Drama Club practice.” Touko furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head in amazement. The angelic Yumi, encouraging delinquency?
“This is more important, just this once,” pleaded Yumi. “Will you come with me?”
“Alright, alright! But this wasn’t my idea.”
“Hurray! You’re awesome, Touko!”
Touko grimaced, but her grimace was quickly replaced with surprise as Yumi produced her magical mechanical pencil.
“We don’t need a map where we’re going,” said Yumi, and she drew an X on the ground. A bright blue portal appeared out of nowhere. Touko thought that she could hear the sound of the waves and gulls crying, and them Yumi grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the inter-dimensional doorway.
They tumbled out of the portal in a different city, on a different planet, sometime in the early 24th century.
“What is this place?” asked Touko, incredulity written across her face.
“It’s a wonderful place,” answered Yumi, with a wink that added the words, “that doesn’t really answer your question, but that’s okay!”
The girls stood on a wooden walkway looking out over cerulean waters that turned to an aquamarine on the horizon, beneath a pale pink sky. The sun was just rising over the water, and a few streamy clouds raced across the sky, chased by seagulls. The soothing sounds of a pair of mandolins played across the scenery.
A white railing stood between the girls and the water; a pair of white stairs led down in the direction of the open waters. A spiral staircase led up to a balcony of sorts, one that ran all the way around the building the girls were standing by. The wall of the building that faced the sunrise was mostly comprised of a metal shade.
As the sky grew bluer, and as Touko opened her mouth to chastise Yumi for dragging the two of them into some unknown dimension that—while it was very pretty—had nothing to do with the duties of a Lillian girl, this shade opened.
“Ehhh?” A girl with long pink hair, sporting a white nekomimi hat and blue pajamas, stood behind a counter of sorts, her mouth wide open.
“Akari!” squealed Yumi.
“Yumi!” responded Akari, a smile replacing her previous shocked face. She disappeared from behind the counter. The click of a lock and five seconds later, she was on the walkway with Yumi and Touko, shaking Yumi’s hand. “It’s been so long!”
“Hahaha,” laughed Yumi.
“And who is this?” asked Akari.
“She’s Touko, an underclassman and good friend of mine.”
“Then she’s a good friend of mine, too!” exclaimed Akari, shaking Touko’s hand next. Touko found herself almost swept away by the pink-haired girl’s ebullience, but she broke free and scowled at Yumi.
“You know people here?!”
“Of course!” answered Yumi. “The people here are so nice! It’s easy to make lots of friends.”
“brrrrrrr” shivered Akari, rubbing her exposed arms as a breeze passed by. “It’s cold; I’m going to go change. Please, come in, I’ll set out some food!”
Yumi accepted the offer with a gracious nod, took Touko’s wrist once more, and the two of them followed Akari into the building.
“This doesn’t look like a home,” commented Touko as she walked in and saw the the office-like space, replete with desk, phone, and work calendar.
“There’s a kitchen in that other room there,” said Yumi, “and a bedroom upstairs.”
Akari disappeared into that upstairs bedroom, dashing up the staircase.
“This friend of yours is pretty inelegant,” observed Touko disdainfully. “She doesn’t walk very slowly.”
“Oh, Touko, she’s just happy.”
Moments later Akari had descended from her room, clad in a flowing white-and-blue dress.
“That’s one weird outfit,” muttered Touko.
“I’m sure she finds our school uniforms odd,” smiled Yumi. “That’s her company’s uniform, the uniform of the Aria Company. Actually, I’ve always wanted to try wearing it once…”
“I have some spares,” said Akari, smiling disarmingly, “would you like to try them on?”
“PLEASE!” exclaimed Yumi excitedly. Touko cocked an eyebrow.
“They’re upstairs, help yourselves. I’m going to get breakfast ready.”
Yumi dragged Touko up to Akari’s bedroom and opened the closet.
“Look, look! There are so many of them!”
“I won’t change,” grumbled Touko.
“I know you think they’re cute,” laughed Yumi. Touko blushed slightly, glaring at her senpai. “Well, I’m going to change now… please don’t stare at me so intensely.” Yumi said it jokingly, but Touko flushed even further. She stomped over to a window and gazed out at the sparkling waters.
“Ta-da!” exclaimed Yumi after a couple minutes. Touko turned around to see Yumi dressed in a uniform identical to Akari’s. She couldn’t deny that it looked good on her.
“Try it on,” encouraged Yumi.
“F-fine,” Touko said.
A few minutes later, the two Lillian girls descended in Aria garb to find four plates of freshly-baked cheese tarts on the table.
“Four?” Touko asked.
“Yes!” answered Akari. “President Aria is always hungry in the mornings.”
“What is that th-thing?!” exclaimed Touko after Akari pointed to the gluttonous white blob stuck in a highchair.
“He’s not a thing, he’s President Aria,” objected Yumi. “The gondolier companies here always choose a cat with aquamarine eyes as their mascot and symbolic president, you see.”
“That’s a cat?”
“Martian cat,” shrugged Yumi.
“Yumi was also very confused when she first came here and met President Aria,” giggled Akari. “Well, sit down, sit down. I’ll pour the tea in a second.” The two Lillian girls seated themselves opposite President Aria as Akari disappeared back into the kitchen. She reemerged immediately with a pot of tea.
“So, what are your plans for today?” Akari asked, pouring the steaming beverage.
つづく
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The Trap of Knowledgethere is, in fact, a penis on this oneCommunity Vitriolyep, these are my readers
Friend or Foe?suzakus to my lelouch
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I’m not really sure what to say… lots of expository dialog, and Yumi seems at least mildly OOC… I thought for sure something sexual would happen >_> maybe volume 2? In any case, this is a strange crossover and certainly reads like one : p
digitalboy — 1/16/09 @ 11:17 am | #Link
Props to IcyStorm for the idea, and you for writing it out. I like it. :3
Though I do think that Touko is a little more… sullen (?) than she usually is.
digitalboy: It’s not that type of story, if that’s what your looking for.
TheBigN — 1/16/09 @ 11:18 am | #Link
@digitalboy: Yumi is totally in character, this is her in the presence of someone who puts no pressure on her! :D
Sexual happenings? In my SISTERHOOD? Fuck you.
lolikitsune — 1/16/09 @ 11:18 am | #Link
@TheBigN: thanks :) Yeah he had the idea last night, and I was like “ok, I’ll write that in the morning if you don’t!” Then he wrote it, but it sucked, so here I am.
lolikitsune — 1/16/09 @ 11:19 am | #Link
Memories of Rule 14 are returning. @_@;;
Anyway, nice job overall, though I can’t comment on OOC-ness cuz I’m not familiar with the characters ^__^;; Kawaii is kawaii, and the dialogue is nicely done, though there seems to be a few awkward bits… like “Touko grimaced, but her grimace was quickly replaced…” Repeating ‘grimace’ just seemed a bit awkward, idk.
Also, you did tsuzuku wrong. つづく
CJ — 1/16/09 @ 12:21 pm | #Link
My story didn’t suck. YOU suck.
Oh, and I’m writing a more realistic crossover fanfic.
Like digitalboy, I find Yumi OOC. But fuck him for thinking something sexual would happen.
IcyStorm — 1/16/09 @ 4:42 pm | #Link
@CJ: fucking dzu.
@IcyStorm: how is there more realistic crossover fanfic?!
lolikitsune — 1/16/09 @ 5:08 pm | #Link
MaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaI am a retarded cat.
Baka-Raptor — 1/16/09 @ 6:32 pm | #Link