WE'RE FINALLY NOTDOTQ ANYMORE

ef ~a tale of failigion~ END – Christmas 2008 

So this whole show turned out to be a bawfest about an angel. Who gave a fuck? I certainly didn’t.

Visual metaphor for sex. *nod nod*

The final episode of ef ~a tale of melodies~ will have a place in my memories for years to come, I believe. Not because it was touching nor because it was a good closing episode, but because it was so goddamn stupid to the point of becoming an instant classic.

Hi Yuuko, I have some freshly-baked cheese tarts for you…

I’m still in shock because I can’t believe how everything fell into place for this episode. Apparently, Yuu and Yuuko have some problems with their relationship, which drive Yuu over the edge by the end of the episode. Only in Japan, only in anime, and only on a White Christmas can something like this happen without somebody stopping for a moment and saying,

“Yuuko. You’re dead.”^[1]

Fortunately, Yuu said…

“Naw, fuck that. Long drawn-out delusions within the boundaries of my own mind can resolve any issue between the living and the dead better than actually believing in God long enough to accept a miracle. The longer I keep my delusions to myself and the harder I rape Yuuko’s illusion, the sooner Yuuko will unspill ink on herself and be alive again! Then she’ll realize that she was wrong and go on a date with me to the school rooftop.”

… and thus a legend is born.

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWthetic

Apparently, angels are petty creatures with human emotions. Never saw that in what of the Old Testament I read for my Bible As Literature class, but then again, this is me we’re talking about. Everyone knows I fail at critical thought and analysis!

So yeah—Amamiya Yuuko is an angel, complete with wings and shit, and she’s hanging onto Yuu’s hand and crying like a slut who wanted the stranger she met in that one bar to use a rubber. I never had much faith in Christianity, and this show isn’t doing a whole lot to change that. It clearly isn’t trying too hard, because I’m totally receptive to messages taught by anime.

It’s funny because in the end the show carries the same overall upbeat message as, say, World Destruction or Clannad: “everything will be alright.” “Hope is all you need.” “The future is bright.”

So after a very “real” first season, ef took a turn for the ludicrous. Everyone knows that hope and friendship don’t actually exist. Angels? Pffft. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

This was when I realized that Yuuko was an angel and not the dead Yuuko’s twin sister or something. I mean, come on. This is ef we’re talking about.

I didn’t expect Clannad-level supernatural bullshit to blindside me like this!^[2]

I WON’T LET YOU TAKE THIS TRUTH FROM ME!!

Mizuki, Mizuki, Mizuki. You rocked hard for most of the show once I got over the fact that you’re way too… uh… ebullient and futuristic, I guess.

And then you said this line.

And you know what I thought to myself?

“This girl would get along well with Lelouch Lamperouge.”

Seriously, Mizuki. What the fuck were you smoking when you spouted that shit?! It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It’s not true. And no—Yuu’s smile does not make it true! Fuck you and your “logic.” I can just see you now, smiling and wagging your tail.

“But if you accept my theory, it proves itself!”

Fuck you, Mizuki. Fuck you.

ef ~a tale of melodies~ went just as planned, and that means that it had some really awesomely-presented scenes, some idiotic drama, and lots of assorted idiocy as the icing on the cake. Nothing could adhere better to the expectations of its fans.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Footnotes

1. You can’t even have astral projections if you’re dead. [↩]
2. I wouldn’t have minded some AIR-level supernatural bullshit, because it just makes people die. Yum. [↩]