Welcome to StrikerS. We will light you on fire now.

WE CAN’T STOP HERE. THIS IS FIRE COUNTRY.

The series starts pretty well, with shit on fire. I like fire. It burns, you know?

There’s also a little girl. She’s not on fire.

MIKURU BEEEEEEEEEMU!

And wait, now there are lasers and more shit blowing up!? This show wins, clearly.

So now the little girl is all grown up and ready to kick ass. Or something. Skates-tan clearly knows the value of stretching. Otherwise she’d get cramps, ya? And everyone knows cramps suck. Shooty-tan will get cramps. She’s not stretching.

I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH! LEAVE ME TO DIE!

So they break through the window just in time for angst. Because it’s like… the same building that got lit on fire, right? So Skates-tan is all, “Unh! Life story!” Yeah, whatever. That shot is too damn blue, bitch. Save it for the ocean.

AIN’T GOT TIME FOR THIS SHI–

FUCK, CRAMPS. DON’T SAY I TOLD YOU SO, ‘CAUSE YOU DIDN’T.

Man, I hells of knew that the lack of stretching on Shooty-tan’s part would fuck her over. She tries to be all stoic and shit, but her legs give out on her. She drops to her knees and is all, “Unh! Support casting!” Way to be useless. YOU HAVE A GUN. USE IT FROM LONG RANGE. God, what a slacker.

UNNNNH! I CAN’T DO IT! DEATH NOTE 25 WAS JUST TOO MUCH!

The episode ends with Nanoha herself showing up again to comfort the still-angsting Skates-tan. I had been hoping for some seriously GAR tough love or shit, but NO. The episode ended on a lameass sappy note.

I mean, come on, Death Note 25 wasn’t that depressing.

Get over yourself, bitch!

Next episode better be less angsty.

And more laserysplody.

_lolikappa