MY SCHOOL’S BROKEN, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER!

I can’t make this shit up. I seriously can’t. This show has mad laughs over what we YFR fans call the “flagship of Yuri.” Himeko wasn’t crying over the destruction of her dorm, but she wasn’t exactly contemplating it either. Kuu very succinctly mentions the destruction of her school… and its lack of importance. After all, my prince, I’ve had a kiss, my prince, my first kiss, my prince!! God, this shit brings back memories of the first episode of Escaflowne. I need to go vomit.

FANSERVICE.

Much like there’s no meaning to the singer’s love in the ED, there’s no meaning to this screenshot. I just figured that since you poor fools are lured to this site with the promise of loliyuri, I might as well post some non-offensive bathing shots, or something.

OH, KYOSHIRO HATES FILTHINESS?

That explains EVERYTHING, don’t it, Kuu? I have the feeling that Setsuna’s pretty messed up in the head. Also, I can’t but hate her voice. For some reason on seeing her design (blonde maid) I imagined she would be similar in character to Otoha in Kannazuki no Miko. Unfortunately, no jealous lily maids for us, but rather emo, existentialist wannabe-het maids. A serious downgrade, but we make up for it with Kuu’s wit.

OKAERI NASAI.

And I mean it with utmost earnestness. I seriously appreciate the fact that my all-time favorite anime character comes swinging in on a giant mech out of nowhere, busts into a bathroom, and starts fighting with a character who’s been set up as a good guy. I especially like how two of the three characters present are in their underwear. It was funny, watching Setsuna dance around in her lingerie flinging A.A. fists everywhere.

YOU’RE COOL, AND ALL, USSR, BUT ANIMATION PLZ.

There was a seriously bad abundance of still frames this episode. Especially because there were gratuitous flashbacks to still frames in episode one. Of course, anything can be excused so long as Kuu keeps greeting her prince. I’m a tad upset by the lack of screen time that USSR gets. I’d really like to see him more often. I think I like him for three reasons: one, he can be paired with his older brother in yaoi doujinshi; two, he’s totally GAR and is all about guts, courage, and hard work; and three, he thought he could compete with Chikane for Himeko. What a loser! Hahaha.

COMICAL SHIT YO.

Once more, I can’t make this shit up. Naked girls grabbed by mechas? Like I said, Kannazuki no Miko didn’t have anything awesome at this level. I think I’m dumping Kannazuki no Miko’s rating down to like, #11, or something, and reordering my preferences based on hilarity. I think this would take first place, and then maybe The Violinist of Hamelin or some shit.

GOMEN NASAI.

Ahhh, the good OLD days of Kimi ga Nozomu Eien. When I prayed for Haruka to be hit by a car, if only to shut her up and stop her from apologizing so damned much. That was some time in the middle of episode one. By the middle of episode two, I was in tears. Wondrously, by the end of episode two, Haruka was, indeed, hit by a motor vehicle. All my prayers had been answered, and I died happily. Or something. Can someone please make Kuu and Himeko stop apologizing through some… less violent means? I don’t particularly want either of them to die, though I do supposed Chikane angsting over her relationship with Himeko whilst the latter lies in a hospital bed for three years would be quite a pleasant anime.

HER LILY BEAUTY IS… STRIKING.

Holy shit, my prince. I’m sorry, my prince. I’ve found that girls can be as pretty, if not more so, than you, my prince. (LK’s note: don’t worry, Kyoshiro! Kuu is just momentarily distracted by Chikane’s beauty. Once she sees you again, she’ll remember who her heart belongs to! … I say all that, but really… Kyoshiro… you are prettier than Chikane. I mean… you are. It’s a fact. And you MIGHT JUST want to start worrying about it.)

EMO CHIKANE.

I demand more. MORE! Do you understand how much this means to me? How excellent this shit is? How much this appeals to me as a fanboy of Kannazuki no Miko episode 11? I want her to whip out Ame no Murakumo’s polearm and slice away at Kuu’s clothing while reciting a sickeningly devoted declaration of love. Alternatively, I’ll settle with Kuu’s description of Chikane’s beauty. That’ll do.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND, KUU?”
“NO… I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION. YOUR BEAUTY DISTRACTED ME.”

If only I wasn’t making THAT up, then this show would be the best shit ever. Kuu’s obsession with her prince, the retarded internal letter-sending, and, to top it off, yuri? We all need it, don’t we? I’m not the only one, right?

“I WANT TO KNOW THE REAL CHIKANE-CHAN!”

“… AND I HAD PROMISED TO KEEP IT INSIDE…”

Brief recap of Kannazuki no Miko Episode 12. “Your love and my love are different,” for some reason, remains one of the strongest lines to date in my anime experience. That’s most likely due to my being an emodere asshole, but don’t you all just love how I’m interspersing my honest love for Kannazuki no Miko into this disparaging rant against Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora? It makes things more interesting… kind of like how Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora makes itself more interesting by inserting bits of beautiful yuri love into its absurd shoujo het romance story.

ONNA NO KO TO ONNA NO KO NO KISU DESU.

I’ve discovered the purpose of this series. Chikane asking if her kissing Himeko was “odd,” Kuu’s response of “it’s beautiful!” … it all adds up. Kuu herself is unimportant. The plot is unimportant. Kyoshiro’s synchronization potential with the TRAPUNIT-01 is unimportant. What this scene has told me is that Kuu exists as a foil to the lesbian relationship between Chikane and Himeko, and that the show exists to attempt at excusing the gratuitous yuri of Kannazuki no Miko. It’s fairly simple: afraid that bona fide lesbians might take offense at the ludicrous overly-elegant factor of the sapphism in Kannazuki no Miko, the group responsible is trying to show how an unbiased, pure-minded girl reacts to yuri. Cute, but pointless.

WHAT’S THIS POUNDING IN MY HEART?!

Or not pointless? I’m laughing my ass off.

“I’VE FOUND MY CALLING, PRINCE~!

IKE, KUU!!! SHOUJO-AI NO MANGAKA NI NARE!!!

AND THE CATGIRL GETS WHAT SHE HAD COMING—RAPE.

And about damn time. Little whores who run around with a Zettai Ryouiki of 1:6:0.5 deserve to have the brains fucked out of them. I mean this literally, and heartfully endorse any actual rapings that occur on these grounds. Hell, I’ll give out stipends to those who act on my words, go find a little bitch with aforementioned Zettai Ryouiki, and rape her to death. I know, I know—rape isn’t cool. And I’m not really for it… in general. But come the fuck on. Catgirl had it coming for her.

“SHE KNOWS HOW TO PLEASE AND HOW TO BE SPOILED.”

For the last time, I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. Maybe Ayako did when subbing the episode, but I can’t imagine how. This is funnier than anything that bunch of losers is capable of. As a brilliant commenter on a post of Kurogane’s suspects, there’s clearly going to be some behind-the-scenes YFR going on.

And yes, just as I thought I’d settled on Kyon being the best narrator ever, I need to switch gears. Kuu is far superior. First off, she’s a girl. Next, she’s completely clueless. She’s also incredibly stupid. As everyone knows, stupidity = lulz. Also her fragmented swoony Japanese is adorable. Especially how she talks about bathing and yuri manga. Oh god lulz.

TSUGI WA… OTANOSHIMINI